This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user shares a detailed, emotionally complex, and evolving personal narrative that spans over a decade. The language is nuanced, self-reflective, and contains specific, non-generic details about their transition, detransition, and healing process (e.g., "Illegal hormones 5 years. Legal 2 years. Trans 11 years. Detransitioning 1.5 years"). The passion and occasional use of informal language ("I dunno," "😃," "woo") are consistent with a real person sharing a deeply personal story. The account's activity and dream of starting support groups also align with the behavior of a genuine member of the community.
About me
I started identifying as transgender at 21 and was on testosterone for seven years. My journey was driven by trauma, mental health struggles, and a deep discomfort with being female. Everything changed when I began serious healing through meditation and therapy, which helped me feel truly connected to my body for the first time. Now, at 33, I am happily living as a woman and have almost no dysphoria. I love my body and feel a sense of peace I never thought was possible.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender was long and complicated, and it took me over a decade to finally find a place of peace. I identified as trans for about eleven years. For five of those years, I used hormones I got illegally, and then for two more years, I had a legal prescription. I started when I was really young, around 21, and I just stopped testosterone about a year and a half ago. I'm 33 now, and I can honestly say I'm happier than I've ever been, living my life as a woman.
For the longest time, I was convinced I was supposed to be a man. I never thought I could ever be okay with being female. A huge part of that, I realize now, was because of internalized misogyny and homophobia. I had a lot of anger and discomfort with what I thought being a woman meant. I also had past trauma that I hadn't dealt with, which left me feeling really disconnected from my body; I was just so disassociated all the time. I couldn't feel embodied as female because I wasn't really feeling anything fully. I also struggled with chronic illness and other mental health issues, and I think I saw transitioning as a way to fix everything.
The real turning point for me was when I started doing serious work on my trauma and my mental health. I developed a wellness practice that included meditation, prayer, and ritual. I got into somatic meditation and even hypnotherapy, which were so helpful that I ended up becoming a certified guide and registered hypnotherapist myself. As I started to heal and get grounded, my perspective completely shifted. I began to see myself as a well person, not just a sick one. For the first time, I felt truly embodied. The feelings of gender dysphoria, which I had held onto for so many years, just started to fade away. It was like my subconscious had been trying to tell me I wasn't living authentically, and once I listened, everything changed.
I also had to let go of a lot of my old beliefs. I used to get really angry about biological ideas of male and female roles, but now I've come to a place of acceptance. We're just animals, and it's okay to understand our biological realities. Once I healed and became authentic, I stopped feeling like a failure for not fitting into a perfect box. I failed at being a girl, I failed at being non-binary, I failed at being a trans man—but that's because I was trying to be anything other than myself. Now that I'm just me, a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, I don't feel like a failure anymore.
I don't really have dysphoria anymore. I love my body, which is something I never thought I'd say after spending twelve years believing it was wrong. My sexuality feels settled, too; I'm closer to embracing my role as a female, and that feels right. I don't have any regrets about my transition because it was part of my path to get here, but I am so relieved to be on the other side of it. My dream now is to help other detransitioned females, maybe by holding retreats where we can connect without shame and explore our femininity and masculinity in healthy ways.
Here is a timeline of the major events in my journey:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 21 | Started identifying as transgender. |
| 21 | Began taking testosterone illegally. |
| 26 | Started a legal prescription for testosterone. |
| 31 - 32 | Began deep trauma work, healing, and a wellness practice (meditation, prayer). This was the start of my real change. |
| 32 | Stopped testosterone after about 7 years total (5 illegal, 2 legal). Began detransitioning. |
| 33 (Now) | Living happily as a woman, with almost no dysphoria. |
Top Comments by /u/Lonely_Guidance_718:
Whenever I have a big emotion, I ask myself “Is this mine or is this coming from outside influences?” I can’t say where your guilt is coming from, but from what you shared it seems mostly tied up in your outside relationships. If I have an emotion that is coming from external sources I accept that I am feeling that way, thank it for showing up to help guide me to reflect (and do whatever you do to reflect which is sounds like you’ve done), and then release it. That’s helped me.
Also I totally understand and relate to the guilt and imposter feelings!! That guilt kept me from coming out as myself for years - years!! I know it’s cliche but those who don’t understand don’t deserve your energy! If folk have a negative response, that’s their shit to deal with.
Anyway, just some thoughts for you. Take what you need and leave the rest. Detransitioning doesn’t have as much support so it can feel scarier to navigate and figure it out. Here if you need it.
Also if you’re into woo I found that my Saturns Return was the time that I had to stop lying about who I was and just be me: a weird female with masc interests and femme tendencies who just wants to stop thinking about gender all the time. About ages 28-31 for me. Anyway, good luck with everything! You weren’t lying! We’re all on our journey and each looks unique to our lives.
FtMtF here. Illegal hormones 5 years. Legal 2 years. Trans 11 years. Detransitioning 1.5 years.
I knew when I started doing trauma work, healing, and having a wellness practice. Once I got embodied, I knew. I knew in my guts. I had questioned but kept it all in my head. I knew when I started seeing myself as well (versus with chronic illness). Not my gender but other illnesses I was dealing with. Also some serious internalized misogyny/homophobia that I overcame allowed me to see myself.
So mediation, prayer, ritual and the like were my path. I never thought I’d detransition. Now I’m happier than EVER.
Hope this helps. 😃
This isn’t guidance but I see you! I had a bunch of doubts FOR YEARS and held onto many of the thoughts you expressed. I ended up medically transitioning and ID ing as trans for over a decade and now I’m loving life as a woman! At 23 I never thought I could be ok with being a woman or female. Now at 33 I really do! Even my dysphoria is almost non existent after a year and a half of getting off T.
I realized that for me I had a lot of eternalized misogyny and homophobia that I had to work through. Also I had my own mental health struggles and after healing past traumas I realized that I couldn’t feel embodied as female because I was so disassociated. Now that I’m grounded and have a wellness practice, those feelings went away. I never would have believed this would happen. I really thought I wanted to live life as a man. Now I can hardly relate to feeling like a man. I just am me. Hope any of this lands.
That’s my story and maybe it’s not your journey. Whatever you choose to do, you have support! Having thoughts don’t make them true, but often are just asking us to reflect on who we are as we grow.
There’s not one way to be a woman. Or trans. Or NB. You just gotta be you, however that is.
I am currently writing a project about what it means to be a gender failure. It’s a bit tongue in cheek and full of sarcasm. I failed as a girl as a non binary person as a trans person, etc. The purpose is to embrace our differences and not view them as failures.
The failure was more my subconscious telling me I wasn’t living authentically. Now that I live my authentic sex, gender, and sexuality I don’t feel like a failure. Most of my life I did feel like a failure.
One of the things that changed was that I gave up on human exceptionalism. As the first reply notes, we are just animals and most animals have pretty basic and clear lines of what is ideal in reproduction. I used to get so angry, like what about lesbians!!! I used to think it was bs wanting a male bigger/stronger. But now I’m like this is just nature and I am okay with biological understandings of roles. And now I’ve healed a bunch of shit, and I am actually closer to being a reproducing female, so again once I got authentic I stopped feeling like a failure.
This is just a bunch of jumbled whatever, but I love this idea of failure and really reflecting and being honest.
To be clear, I don’t think anyone should feel pressure to identify with failure or share my views or agree. This is just sort of my own process with failure and it’s been helpful.
Yes I no longer have dysphoria! Yes I love my body! Even after being trans for 12 years..
Somatic meditation and or hypnotherapy
It was actually so helpful I became a certified somatic meditation guide and now am a Registered Hypnotherapist ✌️
You’ve done a lot. Good luck. And yeah follow other detrans females. It helps.
I have a dream of one day holding retreats like a woman’s retreat or a men’s retreat but for detrans females. Where we can connect with ourselves without shame and explore connecting with others and learn healthy ways to express our femininity, masculinity, or both. I get so jealous of men’s groups and how they have all this contact and expression of force. I get jealous of women’s groups just getting together in a sacred space together but wish they had different activities. I dunno. Just a dream.
Have you tried hypnotherapy or somatic meditation? I don’t enjoy classic hypnotherapy but if you can find a third wave hypnotherapist, it’s helpful.
Other mindful practices can help too. Meditation trance art therapy. Art can really help to release stuff.
Sorry to not have more suggestions but those two helped me. We should just start a group from this page. Online meet up once a month to just share resources, support and have a place where we don’t have to explain ourselves so often.