I used to make the point that maybe societal issues campaigns would actually be more successful if they stuck to their core objective and did less intermixing of causes. On paper, it sounds horrible (and I completely accept that - it sounded like I was basically saying 'fuck all those other causes').

But my intentions were never bad. I merely considered that solitary causes can be better focussed on in the moment (protest) than when it's a myriad of causes being represented, and that, by including every socio-cultural issue under the sun, these protests were becoming really homogenous (therefore, more boring and less interesting for potential activists) and were really whittling down their potential appeal. For every cause you add, you disenfranchise another potential support base. Obviously, the end goal is liberation for all, but the world changes by degrees.

You know, it's like you have to take 10 pills, and you can either choose to take them sequentially or try and swallow them all at once. If you take them sequentially, it's going to take 10× as long, but you genuinely risk choking and taking none of them if you try and swallow them all at once. You get a three stooges stuck-in-the-doorway situation and none of the causes get through.

I didn't, and I believe it's because I'm genuinely trans (or whatever causes this intersex-style neurological dysphoria). Whatever you want to call it. For me, it's like being an addict - you never let go of the idea. You mediate it.

But you can't say that legitimate trans (or whatever) people exist on here without receiving a big washout of downvotes from confused individuals who believed something that wasn't true about themselves for a while. Don't bother, I'm not interested.

Look into gender abolition. Realise that you can be whoever you want to be regardless of what body you have.

If, afterwards, you find yourself longing for the opposite sex characteristics, then that's a decision you gave to male. Forget about 'trans', or 'gender' or any of those meaningless buzz words. Think only of you and your minimal self experience. Isolate, simplify, complete. Are you going to be happier the other way?

Indeed, to be gender dysphoric is not necessarily to possess the (probable) neurological morphology that creates the lifelong desire to be the opposite sex that typically presents itself from a young age.

Even for those individuals, transition may not be the best outcome for them. Unfortunately, it's currently impossible to tell how influential HRT will actually be on an individual on changing their body.

Actually, the ruling in the UK only makes things cloudier.

It might initially sound like a good idea to have clarity on what the law considers to be male and female, but the control of single-sex spaces is largely unenforceable and puts much more stress onto individual establishments and organisations. The UK risks running into US-style legal Nadir's like that spa incident.

When you stare into an abyss, said abyss stares into you.

Or, as Jim Carrey once tantalisingly opined: 'I'm not a man experiencing the universe, I'm the universe experiencing a man'.

Or maybe that's just nonsense neologism I'm getting lost in.

Anyway, the point is: once you entertain something, it gets emboldened. If I'm trying to lose weight, and I buy a big box of brownies from the store, then I'm more likely to not lose weight. If I'm trying to quit smoking weed, and I decorate my environment in weed leaf paraphernalia, then I'm less likely to stop smoking weed. If I oppose racism and the othering of peoples, then I'm less likely to live in an Orwellian nightmare in 20 years.

Similarly, if you wish to be a natal man, then surrounding yourself with information regarding transition and, to an extent, crossdressing, is probably going to embolden the neural pathways in your brain that speculate at the possibility of transition in your future. Sometimes, the world and ourselves really are what we make of them.

Personally, I can tell you that buying female clothes for myself definitely made my dysphoria worse. It presents itself as a helpful/cathartic thing to me, but I think to some extent that it just helped extend a dream. A dream that, fatefully, was not to be.

It is true that the part of you that wonders will never disappear. Even years down the line, I imagine it'll still eat at you. They say that addicts never really are clean and are essentially in a balancing act that becomes easier over time.

On the other hand, you also don't want to keep bottling up your emotions with no effective relief. You might end up doing something crazy.

I'd recommend maybe a detox from any media containing anything trans. Just take a big break from it and see how you feel during it. If you get to the end of that break, and you don't have the same inclination to crossdress or transition anymore, then you'll be freed of your concerns.

If you were already an incel, then maybe.

As it stands, I do not believe that it is that way to all people who transition. Envy is the fear of what you might not ever experience, so you have to question why you feared (or perhaps still fear) never being female.

Answer that, and you've solved your conundrum.

Do I believe it's all internal misandry? No. Not at all. Do I believe that there's a lot more to the sex steroid development and structuring of neuromorphism that we don't completely understand, and probably would have political and fearful motivations to avoid ever fully accepting? Yeah. I think the brain is a lot more malleable than we think.