This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user presents a highly specific, nuanced, and internally consistent personal narrative of being a detransitioned/desisted male who continues feminizing HRT. The language is complex, emotionally varied (from anger to compassion), and demonstrates a deep, long-term engagement with the ideology and science surrounding transition, which is typical of a genuine, passionate participant in this space.
About me
I'm a feminine man who began transitioning in my late twenties, believing my mental health struggles and a specific paraphilia meant I was a woman inside. I enjoyed the physical effects of estrogen but came to see the idea of changing genders as a lie that felt disingenuous to live out. I detransitioned socially and now live as a gender-nonconforming man who continues to take hormones. I've found peace by accepting myself as a male, even with my feminine traits. My journey taught me to critically question ideology and to understand that medical treatment doesn't require a change in fundamental identity.
My detransition story
My entire journey with gender started from a place of deep discomfort, but not necessarily with my body itself at first. I was a feminine guy who never really fit in, and I struggled with a lot of mental health issues, including clinical OCD, severe depression, and anxiety. I now believe that my desire to transition was heavily influenced by a paraphilia called autogynephilia (AGP), which is a sexual arousal at the idea of myself as a woman. I mistook these feelings for a sign that I was truly a woman on the inside.
I started taking estrogen and anti-androgens in my late twenties. I liked the effects of the hormones; they made my body feel more right for my personality. My skin softened, I grew breasts, and I felt like my outward appearance finally matched my non-normative, feminine mind. Testosterone had aged me roughly, and HRT actually made me look younger and feel better in my own skin.
However, the longer I was on HRT, the more I realized that the core idea of "changing genders" was a lie, at least for me. I came to understand that I could never actually become a woman. Trying to "live as a woman" felt incredibly disingenuous. I saw other transwomen who seemed to be living out a caricature of femininity, and it felt embarrassing and part of a fantasy. I also met some in support groups who gave me a creepy vibe, like they were perv-ing on women, which really turned me off from the whole identity.
I started to see a lot of the online trans community as cult-like, especially the way they would label any feminine guy as a "trans egg." It felt like a recruiting tactic that shut down critical thinking. I wish I had known from the beginning how shaky the science was behind the "brain in the wrong body" idea. I wish I had never believed I was innately a different gender. That belief stopped me from just being happy as a feminine man from the get-go.
So, I stopped identifying as a trans woman. I detransitioned in terms of my social identity, but I never stopped taking hormones. I live my life now as an extremely gender-nonconforming man who takes estrogen. I have breasts and other feminine features, and I acknowledge that I am a man. It can be socially inconvenient sometimes—I get strange looks in men's bathrooms—but I think it's important. I believe we, as men, should normalize the presence of feminine males in men's spaces. Men's spaces are for all men.
I have strong opinions about the community I left. I think it's wrong to demand that others "play along" with pronouns or allow males into women-only spaces. I was raised to be a gentleman and to put women's safety and needs first, and that's something I still believe in deeply. My transition was a personal medical choice, not a social one that requires everyone else to change their reality.
Do I regret it? I don't regret taking hormones because they have benefited me and I like the physical changes. But I deeply regret ever buying into the ideology that I could be a woman. It caused me a lot of unnecessary confusion and strife. I found peace by accepting that I am a man, a transfeminine guy, and that's okay. My advice to anyone questioning is to be extremely careful, be critical of what you read online, and don't mistake a fetish or other mental health issues for a true identity. Weigh the risks to your body carefully, because some changes are very permanent.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 28 | Started taking estrogen and anti-androgens (HRT). |
| 29 | Realized I could not truly become a woman and ceased identifying as a trans woman. Continued HRT as a gender-nonconforming man. |
Top Comments by /u/LukeOfAppalachia:
I wish that I had known how shaky (and in some cases--nonexistent) the "brain in the wrong body" science was. I wish I had never believed that I was actually a different gender innately. That would have allowed me to be happy as a feminine man instead of feeling like I had to fulfill the role of "woman" (which is well, impossible if you aren't one). Now I've found peace as a Transfeminine guy--wish I'd done that from the get-go. Be careful of testosterone though...there's a lot of potentially unsavory effects that are rather permanent. The stories detailing that are everywhere on this sub.
Sounds like classic Autogynephilia to me--which doesn't "make you trans" necessarily. And yeah, it is considered a fetish. That's not to say it's inherently bad-- I myself am AGP, but you shouldn't mistake these feelings to think you are a woman--females don't normally have such turn-ons regarding their own body (though it's apparently not impossible). Anyways, if you have any questions, feel free to ask. Also, feel free to check out r/Blanchardianism or r/askAGP .
For me the whole "Oh you're a guy who likes feminine things??? EGGGGGG!!! LOLOLOLOL" crap really really irks me. Like, guys can be fem (and girls butch) without trying to make them think they're a different gender. And oh how quickly their cutesy act fades whenever you try to bring some critical thinking to the table. The hypocrisy makes me sick. Anyways, to tie back into the cult thing, the whole "Egg" concept seems to be an effective recruiting tactic, and the oppression of critical thinking ensures people stay in the cult without getting too far out of line.
I mean, this is basically what I'm doing. I think we as males (and our afab sisters) can hormonally alter our own bodies if we wish to, so long as the risks , etc. are weighed. In some of our cases, HRT really is a good solution (provided therapy, etc. have already been tried).
In my opinion there are no "true transwomen" (and thus no 'fake transwomen'). If you don't want to get extreme body modification on your genitals then that's perfectly fine. If you for some reason *do* want to get that extreme body modification that's fine too, but it doesn't make you a "true transwoman" either way. Beware labels. At the end of the day, we're men--no matter what we may change about our bodies or behavior.
EDIT: Ah yes, for my personal opinion, I would strongly strongly urge you ***not*** to do SRS. The only people that *I* have ever seen that seem to be okay with SRS results are people who were very passionate about getting it from the get-go and throughout (and even then, many regret it).
Basically I am of the belief that transwomen are men--including myself and that we, as men, should be doing what we can to normalize the presence of trans/gnc males in men's spaces. I often get strange looks and people check bathroom signs , etc. when they see me but good! Maybe they'll learn that men's spaces are for ALL MEN--not just cis/straight-acting men. Anyways, I've seen some pretty creepy transwomen who really seem to perv on women (i.e. Yaniv and some local transwomen I met through trans-support meetings), so I don't blame women for being wary of the presence of transwomen in their spaces. And finally, on a personal note, I was raised in such a way where yes--I do personally try to put women's needs ahead of mine. I was raised to be a gentleman, and even if I don't look like a gentle*man*, I still strive to uphold the virtues therein.
I don't really have any advice for you, but know that my heart and soul go out to you~ being alone, without love is something I am well acquainted with and it's never easy--especially if you believe you may have had a cause in getting yourself in that situation. Hang in there, maybe others here will have more constructive advice. Just know you aren't alone, and I'm rooting for you :)
If you're transness is fueled by Autogynephilia (as my own "transness" was (and is)) then you might find some help at r/tgandsissyrecovery . If it is truly 'gender issues' then hm.... perhaps it would be best to work it out with an unbiased therapist (which in this day and age is--admittedly--hard to find).
EDIT: Woah, are you really 13?? Have you spoken with your parents about this? Please don't rely on Reddit advice too much for life changing decisions, puberty can be a confusing time for anyone.
I don't think this is as uncommon as you may think. I'm planning on taking a similar approach myself. I've been on HRT for almost a year but have come to the conclusion that "changing genders" is a lie and trying to "live as a woman" would be incredibly disingenuous (at least for me) . I do love the effects of HRT though (while realizing the obvious risks), so I plan on living as an effeminate bisexual man who takes Estrogen and AA's.
This is beautiful, and extremely applicable to everyone--no matter where they are in this process. I know I myself could do with a lot more self-acceptance; posts like this help. These days it seems like pics and selfies and instagram are what's "most important"--but it's not. Thanks so much for sharing~