This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's story is highly specific, emotionally consistent, and spans a long personal history (from childhood in the 90s to age 40). The narrative of being a gender-nonconforming lesbian who attempted to pass as male but desisted due to it feeling inauthentic is coherent and aligns with known desister experiences. The comments express deep, personal anger and pain about societal pressures and trauma, which is consistent with a genuine detransitioner/desister perspective.
About me
I knew from a young age I was a girl who felt deeply uncomfortable with my own body, especially when puberty began. I tried to live as a man in my twenties because I thought it would free me from the judgment I faced for being masculine. I realized I was just pretending to be someone else, so I stopped and embraced being a lesbian. I still live with body dysphoria, but I manage it by focusing on my life and interests instead of the discomfort. I’ve accepted myself as a gender-nonconforming woman, and that is the only path that has brought me peace.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was really young. I remember telling a girl on the school bus that I was really a boy. It just felt like a matter-of-fact thing to me. But then puberty hit around age 11, and that's when the intense discomfort with my body began. I couldn't stand it, and if I'm being honest, I still feel uncomfortable in it. I didn't envy boys' bodies; I just knew something was off with my own and wanted to get rid of certain parts of it.
Growing up as a girl who wasn't feminine was really hard. I got my ass kicked by a much bigger dude in junior high, and the vice principal told my mom it was because I looked like a boy. My jaw is still messed up from that. I was constantly judged for not carrying a purse, not wearing makeup, and for playing sports. It felt like I was always getting looks of disapproval and put-down comments from people, asking why I didn't have a boyfriend or why I dressed like a boy. I just wanted to be myself and feel free from all that bullshit.
In my 20s, around 2010, I started trying to pass as a man. I thought that if I could just be seen as a guy, I could finally relax and be free from all that judgment. But it was just another form of pretending. I was bullshitting myself, trying to be something I wasn't and could never be. I never took testosterone, but I do have PCOS, which naturally elevates my testosterone levels. I found that adding flaxseeds to my diet helped lower it a bit.
I realized that trying to transition wasn't the answer for me. It was all just hoop-jumping and pretending. I stopped and decided to just be myself. I'm a lesbian, and that's not a label I try to fit into; it's just the one that best describes me when I'm being my authentic self. No binding, no hormones, no monitoring my gestures to try and be something I'm not. I'm just me, a female homosexual.
I've come to believe that the LGBT community should be fighting for the freedom of men and women to be themselves without discrimination. Some women are buff, some have facial hair or hairy bodies, some have a kickass jawline and wear androgynous clothes. Being a woman who doesn't fit the stereotype shouldn't mean you're denied anything.
I still live with dysphoria; it's just always there in the background. I'm 40 now, and I've accepted that it's probably something that will always be with me. My way of coping is to distract myself with other things—reading, gaming, music, projects around the house. The more I focus on the discomfort, the worse it gets, so I try not to dwell on it.
Looking back, I don't regret trying to transition because it helped me realize it wasn't the right path for me. My only regret is that I didn't have this understanding sooner. I spent a lot of time trying to escape who I am, but in the end, the only thing that works for me is accepting myself as a gender-nonconforming woman.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| ~11 | ~1992 | Puberty began; intense discomfort with my body started. |
| Junior High | Mid-1990s | Physically assaulted for looking like a boy; jaw injured. |
| 20s | ~2010 | Began trying to socially transition and pass as male. |
| Late 30s | ~2019 | Stopped trying to pass; decided to just live as myself. |
| 40 | 2020 | Reflecting on my journey and living with ongoing dysphoria through distraction. |
Top Comments by /u/Luminous01:
This Youtuber mentions starting t in 2005 and stopped a year ago. They seem pretty chill, might answer some of your questions. In the comments section they answer a few questions and some others who stopped t also chime in. https://youtu.be/VZICpCSVtmQ
If it is because you don't fit the woman stereotype that is seriously fucked. That is what the LGBT should be fighting for is for freedom of men and women to be themselves without discrimination. Some women are buff af, some women have a lot of hair like beards, hairy arms or hairy legs, some women have a kickass jawline and wear androgynous clothes. If you are a woman there is no reason you should be denied woman's services.
It most definitely is a breach of your rights. Ugh society blows so much sometimes.
I didnt have an infatuation with men. I liked to hang out with boys when I was younger because they were into what I was into as far as sports, vid games, comics etc but I dont remember being jealous of their body at all. I just felt odd being called a girl and expected to be like one. I told the kids on the school bus I was a boy and it felt just matter of fact. The intense body uncomfortable feeling kicked in with puberty. That was probably about 1992 lol (Im a dinosaur) so I had never heard of transgender or anything like that. Even then I didn't envy dudes bodies just knew mine was fucked up and off. Wanted to get rid of sections of my body but not really replace it or have a plan for what to do. Around 2010 is when I started trying to pass as male but yeah wasnt for me.
It's interesting how we have different ideas in our heads about it. Thats kinda why I feel maybe what dysphoria is for one person isn't what it is for another.
What he said though about women with PCOS really hit home for me. I am 40 years old and have had dysphoria since I was a pre-teen and am a lesbian with PCOS. No one ever told me that it could cause dysphoria. There wasn't the language for dysphoria that there is today though.
I wonder if they could find a surgeon to just close it off. It's just like a wound with scar tissue. Close it up and be done with it. It sucks but yeah would be better than dealing with that smell. I really feel for them and hope they find a way to make life more bearable.
I never took testosterone but have had pcos which elevates testosterone. Flaxseeds help lower the T for me. Just another dietary addition people may want to look into lowering testosterone. Here is a study on flaxseeds and pcos https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2752973/
Thanks. I have a hard time getting my thoughts across and struggle with words so I appreciate that. And yeah for a lot of women there are too many atrocities to fathom sometimes.
If you ever need or want to talk feel free to message me. We have some things in common.
Take care out there and stay safe, WislawaFlora. ✌️😊
When I was really young I thought I was a boy or would grow into being one. I got in trouble for telling a girl on the school bus I was really a boy. Of course I realised later this wouldn't happen. Couldn't stand my body after the age of 11 (and still uncomfortable in it tbh but oh well.) But later in my 20s I started to try and pass. I wanted to just be myself with out looks of disapproval and put-down comments. "Why don't you put on a little makeup?" "You have a boyfriend yet?" "I bought you this pretty blouse" "Girls shouldn't play hockey" "Why do you dress like a boy?"I just wanted to be myself and feel like I could relax and be free of the bullshit. But I was just bullshiting myself trying to be something I wasn't and can never be.
I'm going to be honest, I'm 40 and still feel it. But I have a stressful life overall and things would have probably went better not only if I wasn't female but if I had just better luck and genetics.
It sounds lame but when it gets bad for me I just try to immerse myself in other things like reading, gaming, music, or projects around the house. Just distraction.
I've accepted it's just something that is going to be there for me. My life is so fucked up though, believe it or not, dysphoria is the least of my worries lol
There are people who just grow out of it and some others find transitioning helps them. I'm just unlucky.
Passed as a dude for awhile a few years back till I realized it was a bunch of bs it was. I'm just myself now. Fk the hoop jumping and pretending.
I am a lesbian. It's not a label I try to fit into it's just the one that best describes me when I am just being myself. No binding, no hormones, no monitoring my gestures trying to be something I'm not... just me, a female homosexual