This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments display a consistent, deeply personal narrative of detransition (including specific, lived details like being on testosterone for two years, fertility returning, and getting pregnant) and offer empathetic, nuanced advice that aligns with the complex and often painful experience of detransitioners. The user's passion and occasional anger are consistent with the genuine trauma and stigma associated with this experience.
About me
I started transitioning at 18 because I felt I never fit in as a girl and thought becoming a man was the solution. I was on testosterone for two years before realizing I was just running from my own unhappiness and low self-esteem. Meeting my husband helped me see I could be loved as I am, so I detransitioned at 20. I now live with permanent changes like a deep voice and facial hair, which is a daily struggle for my self-image. I'm now a wife and mother, focusing on healing and my family, but I deeply regret the years I lost.
My detransition story
My whole journey started when I was a teenager. I never fit in with other girls and I hated being reminded that I was female. I thought being a girl was the lamest thing in the world. I spent all my time online and ended up convincing myself that the reason I felt so out of place was because I was actually a man. That’s what led me to start transitioning when I was 18.
I was on testosterone for almost two years, from age 18 to 20. At the time, I liked the extra energy and feeling stronger. Looking back now, I can see I was just running from myself. I had a lot of low self-esteem and was really unhappy, and I thought becoming a man was the solution. I also spent a lot of that time smoking weed, which didn’t help me work through my actual issues at all.
A huge turning point for me was meeting my now-husband. It made me realize that I could be loved as I am, and it started me questioning everything. I began to see how difficult transitioning had made every aspect of my life. I wasn’t happier; it felt like one big, pointless act. I stopped testosterone when I was 20.
Detransitioning was incredibly hard. I lost all the friends I had made in the trans community almost immediately. They distanced themselves from me within a couple of weeks, and it made me see the whole thing is basically a cult. That was a really painful shock.
The physical aftermath has been the toughest part to live with. Testosterone gave me a very deep voice, facial hair, and changed my body in ways I now regret. My voice has lightened a little over the last two and a half years, but I still sound male and it’s humiliating. I have to use an epilator on my face every couple of days because I can’t afford laser hair removal yet. My breasts did change from binding and testosterone—they looked deflated for a while—but they’ve gotten perkier and filled out since I stopped. My face and body have gotten softer too.
My feelings about children did a complete 180. Before transitioning, I was certain I never wanted to be pregnant or have kids. But even when I first started transitioning at 18, I kept looking into other female people who had carried their own children. I realized that desire was a sign I was just a woman who wanted babies. I was lucky and got pregnant the week I had my IUD removed. I’m now a mother and pregnant again, and I’m very excited about it.
I don’t really have any friends. Socially, it’s a struggle. I’m hyper-critical of myself and always feel like people are staring, trying to figure out why my voice is so deep. I’m too scared and embarrassed to correct people when they mistake me for a man. Sometimes I feel like I’m overcompensating by wearing more feminine clothes and makeup now, just to try and fit in and not draw more attention to myself. It’s easier now that I’m a wife and a mother because I have people who love me, but I still feel like I lost years of my life to this.
I do have regrets. I feel horrible for ruining the young, unapologetic tomboy I used to be. There was nothing wrong with her. I wish I could go back and prevent myself from spending all that time online, convincing myself I needed to change. Transitioning ruined my life in a lot of ways, and I’m filled with dread when I picture living with these permanent changes forever.
My thoughts on gender now are that we can never be the opposite sex; we only hurt ourselves trying. I think most people who think they're trans get caught up in what society has deemed masculine and feminine. The solution isn't to change your sex, but to change your idea of what a woman or a man can be. You don’t have to dress or act a certain way to be a woman. I hated dresses my whole life but started wearing them after I detransitioned just to try it, and I love it now. The most important thing is to find what makes you comfortable.
I’m trying to focus on healing and my family now. It’s a daily struggle with self-image, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it was when I was identifying as trans. I’m thankful for where I am now, even if it’s worse off than where I'd be if I'd just left myself alone.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Started testosterone. |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone. |
| 21 | Got pregnant shortly after stopping testosterone. |
| 22 | Currently pregnant with my second child. |
Top Comments by /u/MADder0x:
yeah, I can't really stand any of it. when I first destransitioned I told myself I wouldn't get involved in the "discourse," but it became impossible to ignore. once you wake up from all of it, it's very hard to watch others live under the same delusion. even more difficult to stay out of pointless arguments, especially with the ones that are super rotten.
obviously it's not a healthy way to live, but I think given our situations it's understandable. just focus on healing yourself more than anything.
You're not a monster. I'm pregnant as well and it's difficult. Your situation isn't your fault, but I am sad to hear your boyfriend isn't supportive.
I say take the photos you want. You might regret it in the future, and if you do end up having and keeping the baby, I'm sure they'd appreciate them eventually. Everyone's mother is different in some way, but they're still mothers. The things we worry about may be pretty different from the things most other mothers worry about, but we'll still have a child that loves and needs us.
It's terrifying and I'm not sure that feeling ever stops. I've been told it's just a part of parenthood. Please don't be afraid to reach out (to me or anyone) if you need someone to talk to. You don't have to be alone.
Try not to think of it as being a "man" or a "woman". Just start doing what would make you more comfortable, or what you want to try out. I know that's difficult because of how much worth is placed in the identity aspect of it all, but that's what leads to a lot of unhappiness.
I also transitioned because I fit in poorly with other girls. That didn't mean I wasn't one, and plenty of other girls just don't fit in. That's fine, because eventually you'll find people you're comfortable with.
If you find that you are happier not identifying as trans, we'll be here for you.
Dating men is better as a woman for various reasons. Also, if you're having these thoughts along with health problems, going off T is definitely the right choice.
As far as attracting "low value men", I understand the thoughts behind it, but the truth is there are plenty of "high value" men who would treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I know it seems impossible because I really felt the same way (like no man would ever see past the deep voice and growing facial hair, among other things), but I was quickly proved wrong and am now in the best relationship I could've ever imagined. I just don't want you to lose hope for this for yourself because there are people out there for you. You just have to find them.
Definitely was not expecting to hear anything remotely feminine, but that's all I got from listening to the clip. Something most of us struggle with here is our perceptions of ourselves not matching the reality, and I think that's the case here. You really do sound feminine to me and I hope it doesn't cause you this much grief going forward, because you have a lovely voice and I'm sure most who hear it would agree.
Thank you for sharing. I (21) was on testosterone for just short of 2 years, and I've been off for almost a year and a half now. I used hormonal BC after stopping testosterone then switched to an IUD for a few months. I got pregnant the week I had it removed. I thought it would take much longer than that and that I was possibly infertile, but nope. Currently 8 months pregnant.
I wish the best of luck to you and anyone reading that things work out the way you want them to.
my feelings have definitely changed. from being certain I never wanted to be pregnant or even have children when I was younger (even before transition), to currently being pregnant and very excited/hopeful about it. it was strange for me because as I began transitioning (18), I kept looking into ftms that carried their own children, when I had never really wanted kids before. luckily I was able to realize I'm just a woman who wants babies, lol.
i just wanted to say that you aren't alone. you are working through extremely difficult feelings and memories, and it takes a very strong person to deal with that. I'm sorry the people in your life don't have any empathy/sympathy for you, because you need it. you have people here who understand what you're going through. try your best to ignore those who only hurt you more. it will take a long time to reach a place where you no longer feel so terribly about it all, but it will happen. <3
yes. it's hard not to let the reminiscing turn bitter when I think about where I am now, though. but remembering myself as a young, unapologetic tomboy brings me joy. I feel so horrible for ruining her. I wish I could go back and prevent myself from spending all of my time online, convincing myself I had so and so wrong with me. there was nothing wrong with me.
i really identify with the desperation and anger in this post. i was not on testosterone as long as you, but my voice got extremely deep and it has ruined my life. I've been off of testosterone for around 2.5 years now, and it has definitely lightened up, though I know I'll be stuck with sounding male for a while more.
i don't know how long you've been off it, but it does take time to notice change. you may not even notice it yourself for a while because it'll just all sound bad to you, but others will. i despise voice training because it leaves me in pain, and it feels like I never get anywhere. however, I do think there are some videos worth watching so you can understand how to manipulate your voice as much as possible.
people's reactions are the worst and always make me want to crawl in a hole and never be seen again. i don't have much advice for this, just know that people are always going to judge. it sounds like you at least have a husband who is supportive, and possibly more people in your life. focus on them and (I still need to work on this part myself) forget what the others think. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you're not entirely alone.