This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The writing is highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent, detailing a specific, non-linear journey of detransition (e.g., keeping a masculine name, complex feelings about past actions, and specific physical changes from testosterone). The passion and criticism align with the expected perspective of someone who feels harmed by their experience.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started with puberty, making me hate my developing body. I found a community online that convinced me I was a transgender man, and I started testosterone at 18. Getting away from my abusive home and dating men who only saw me as a boyish girl were huge turning points. I stopped testosterone and detransitioned, which finally gave me a sense of peace and self-acceptance I never had before. I'm now a woman at peace with my body, understanding my dysphoria was rooted in trauma, not my true self.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was a long and complicated one, and looking back, I see it was about a lot more than just gender. I was born female, and my discomfort started around puberty. I hated the changes in my body, especially my breasts; they never felt like they belonged to me. I felt a deep sense of wrongness and just wanted it all to stop.
I found a lot of my identity and community online. I came out as non-binary first, but that quickly shifted to identifying as a transgender man. It felt like the answer to all my problems. The narrative I saw everywhere—that you know you're trans as a kid, that puberty is devastating, and that transition is the cure—felt exactly right. I believed it completely. At the time, it felt so real and true. I got so obsessed with the idea of transitioning; it became my entire focus. I now see that obsession itself was unhealthy.
I started testosterone when I was 18. For a while, it felt great. Just the act of trying to become someone else felt right. I didn't pass very well, but the effort itself was satisfying. I even had a consultation for top surgery, but thankfully, the surgeon said no. At the time, I was furious and still wanted it desperately. Now, I am so incredibly thankful I never got it. I have pre-existing hospital-related PTSD, and I know the surgery and recovery would have been deeply traumatizing for me. I also realize now that I still would have been insecure about other things; it wouldn't have been the magic fix I thought it was.
A big turning point for me was getting away from my abusive parents. I was actually kicked out and sent to a homeless shelter for making the appointment to start T. Once I was out of that environment and became more settled in my own life, I started to realize I just didn't need to be a man anymore. The feeling just... faded. I stopped trying so hard.
Another thing that snapped me out of it was dating. Nearly all the men I was with when I identified as a trans man were bisexual, even if they said they weren't. They were really only interested in the novelty of a boyish girl. The few who weren't lost interest when they saw my body was still too female. I realized they were just humoring me, and I was lying to myself about being seen as a real man.
When I finally allowed myself to detransition, it was a huge relief. It wasn't about becoming something new; it was about accepting what I couldn't change and finding myself underneath all that obsession. The first time I bought feminine clothes, it wasn't stressful or disappointing. Things just fit right, and my body shape wasn't scary anymore. It was a feeling of peace I had been searching for all along. I kept my chosen name, Isaiah, and go by Isa now. People seem to think it fits, even though it's not a common girl's name.
I have some permanent changes from testosterone, like an Adam's apple and a deeper voice, that I'll deal with for the rest of my life. But I'm just grateful I can still pee normally and that I avoided major surgeries. I don't regret my entire transition because it was a part of my journey that led me to where I am now, but I do regret not questioning things more deeply sooner. I see now that my dysphoria was heavily mixed with other issues: trauma, low self-esteem, and the discomfort of female puberty. I benefited immensely from stepping away from all trans-related content online. It allowed me to finally hear my own thoughts.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's mostly nonsense. We all bought into the same propaganda. There's more to a person than just their gender. I've found so much freedom in just cutting out the binary altogether. I just do what I like now. I wear the clothes I want to wear and style my hair how I like. I'm a female, and that's just a fact, even if I have some masculine traits. I'm finally getting to know myself, and it's never too late for that.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13-14 | Started feeling intense discomfort with female puberty, hated breast development. |
| 16 | Came out as non-binary, which quickly shifted to identifying as a transgender man. |
| 18 | Was kicked out of my family home for making an appointment to start testosterone. Started taking testosterone. |
| 18 | Had a consultation for top surgery; the surgeon refused to perform it. |
| 20 | Began to question my transition, started distancing myself from online trans communities. |
| 21 | Stopped testosterone. Began socially detransitioning by slowly incorporating feminine clothes and presentation. |
| 22 | Fully accepted my detransition, feeling at peace with being female and understanding my past dysphoria was linked to trauma and other issues. |
Top Comments by /u/ManagementCapable758:
Honestly, damn near all ftm (including me) have the same mentality of "I'm a real transgender" because that's how it works! The whole knowing as a child, devastating puberty, cured by transition, I know what I am. It wouldn't be so hard to question if it were as simple as "real vs fake" we all were real legitimate dysphoric transgender people before we realized that's all nonsense, I'm tired so I'm not gonna rant on about it, but nobody is immune to the propaganda, including you
They're bisexual, even if they say theyre not, 99% of men I was with while identifying as a trans man were pretty much only interested in the novelty of a boyish girl (or the T clit lol) The other 1% didn't even want me once they met with me because my body was a lil too female. That's one thing that helped snap me out of it cause, they were just humoring me really and I was lying to myself
The comment i was replying to got deleted, but i typed all this XD Along with accepting the reality of transitioning, that it wont help the real issues. I blocked majority of trans pages when i started thinking about detrainsitioning even before i stopped HRT. That's pretty much the first step to accepting yourself, surround yourself with things you enjoy and make you feel accomplished.
Transitioning is obsessive and unhealthy by default imo . Avoiding that kinda content is really good place to start, I'd even recommend avoiding being too involved in detransition spaces too cause that can be the same obsession with "once I do x I'll be happy". Becoming healthy and loving yourself isn't about actually becoming something else, you gotta find you, more than your sex. If that makes sense, it kinda all sounds the same, but there's more than just gender to a person
Seconding this, transition felt great for me, I didn't pass very well, but just trying felt right at the time. I got older and more settled in life, got away from my abusive parents, I realized I just didn't need it anymore and thankfully didn't feel like it was too late to go back. I believe Buck Angel definitely would go back if it weren't so difficult with how far she's gone socially and medically, but that also would take admitting she was wrong. Most people can't handle that, I don't blame them for it either
( ,,reposting because I forgot to put a flair, Ii think i got it now )
It was really sudden for me too, I can't explain when or how it happened but I just stopped feeling like trying so hard I guess? Thats sort of how it felt once I gave in to the idea of looking "pretty" and it was SO nice even if I didn't put effort into makeup or stlying myself or even considered stopping T at the time Like when I bought myself feminine clothes for the first time ever it wasnt stressful or disappointing, things fit right and my body shape wasnt scary anymore and idk. it was a nice change, looking back on it. It was a feeling I hoped for when I came out as trans. My nickname is isa btw! Short for Isaiah though since I kept my chosen name, people seem to think it fits even though its not common for a girls name
I dont have much advice for the relationship issue, but I understand, feeling like you're not who you've been all these years. I think you should be honest about it with her and yourself, the guy I was with at the time I detransitioned couldnt stay with me because of it. He wanted a man, or trans man, but it turned out for the better and we still are pretty close.
I think I'm rambling a bit but give yourself time to think about yourself, gender dysphoria seems to make a lot of us obsess over what others think and we never get the chance to get to know ourselves until it feels too late. But its not ! I really relate a lot so I wish you the absolute best ❤️
This is so similar to what I went through being kicked out for being trans and then detransitioning, obviously not the same but I really can relate. I have to walk my dog real quick and I'll finish typing, but I wanna start by saying you don't have to come out again. Detransitioning is a slow recovery process, theres no rush, no real timeline on what you have to do. You don't even have to tell anyone, hell I havent even changed my name from my masc chosen one or sex marker on my ID back.
I came out a lot younger and got kicked out at 18 to a homeless shelter for making the appointment to start T, my mom and I also have a really tense relationship, but despite that after going no contact for years we now can talk and go out to lunch like mostly healthy adults.
BRB ill edit in a little bit lol
Honestly if youre having second thoughts about surgery, absolutely do NOT DO IT, ffs is more dangerous than they let on, it really compromises your bones structure. The results arent usually worth the pain and risk, I just barely avoided getting top surgery and now years later Im so thankful. Even though I still dont like my breasts, Im still insecure aboout a lotta things, I know I would have hated the scars and been traumatized by the recovery/operation.
I know Im just a random person online, youre going to decide to do whatever you feel is best for you. Just really know what youre doing when you decide, dont let your hopes cloud your judgement. You can be a femboy without hormones OR surgery, a cute one too lol You dont need to risk your health for it,
Omg first time I've seen someone mention the kiwi farms thread, I first saw it just after I had my consultation for top surgery (thank God the surgeon said no) but I still wanted it and came across that while researching. I can't believe I wanted it so badly. I wouldn't be alive today if I had gone through with everything I wanted back then, I have horrible hospital PTSD as it is, I don't know what I thought I was doing trying to get those awful things done to my body.
The T permanently altered my body, ill deal with it for the rest of my life, but at least I'm still able to pee normally 😭
Honestly I think you're figuring it out pretty well so far! Just do what you like, it took me almost 2 years now of trying things out to find what fits. I just got my first bra last month XD and I didn't like it, too tight and changed my shape too much, so even though I wanna look femme, no bras for me lol
I keep what I like and nothing else, it's really freeing to cut out the whole binary all together and it just becomes clothes I want to wear, hair styled how I'm happy with, it sounds so simple cause it is.
You're still female even if you still look a bit masculine, there's more solidarity than judgement I've noticed. I have an obvious Adam's apple from T and I'm quite tall, my id has male sex marker, but those are just little things that don't change what I am if that makes sense? Even if some people read me as mtf or something else, there's still no question on what I am
You can keep your beard if you like the look or change it up and grow it back, if you're curious about the feeling I'd say try shaving it and see how it feels ^^ you might like it! Same with clothes, you don't have to go head first into it. Detransition isn't the same as transition, it's not about change, it's about acceptance of what you can't change imo