I'm glad that you realized you aren't trans and have avoided an unnecessary transition, but I find your lack of a strong identity and how easily you are influenced by others a little concerning. Thinking I was trans and later realizing I wanted to detransition both started as internal experiences. Detransition especially was something that build slowly. Looking for support and finding people with similar experiences happened after I accepted that I was detrans. Again, glad it worked out, I'm just concerned how you were able to get to the point of wanting T and surgery to doing a 180 in a couple days.

I think it's because detrans women kinda have to. It's normally harder to reverse the changes from T, so detrans women have to embrace their gender when no one else will recognize it. I was on T for years and fully passed as male. I've been off T for about 2 years now and am still seen as male. At the start of my detransition I felt terrible, thinking I'll never be accepted as a woman again and that other women would be disgusted by me. I had to work through those feelings in therapy and find some inner strength. I had to enjoy being a woman, even if no one sees me as one.

I'm also so tired of this male persona I present to the world, that I'm now more interested in femininity. I'm still very masculine, but I want to branch out and explore different things like makeup, sewing and painting my nails. Presenting as a male has felt lonely and restrictive at times.

Hi Diane, I'm a fellow detrans woman from BC. I'm in the process of pursuing breast reconstruction, and it's covered. I went back to the same doctor I had for my transition, and I did another surgery assessment which is now going through trans care. There are 1 on 1 voice training sessions you can access for free from trained professionals if you want to feminize your voice, but the wait list is long. I'm also getting electrolysis, which is being covered under my extended healthcare plan, I just needed a doctor sign off that I had gender dysphoria. I know the feeling of thinking that it's too late, but it really is never to late. Your body will re-feminize on estrogen, the fat will redistribute, your skin will clear and soften, your body hair may reduce. Your hair may return on it's own with just estrogen, but if not, there are many ways to help get it back, though it may not be as thick. It's slow, but the progress pictures don't lie. Just focus on getting on estrogen, finding a therapist if you can, and keeping yourself healthy. Let me know if you have any questions. You can message me as well.

I hate the phase "death before detransition" so much because it is short sighted as a personal mantra but it becomes so much more damaging when used towards others. I've seen trans people use it towards people in their own community who don't want to diy hrt or towards people who have to detransition for medical or social reasons. It pressures people to start transition then stay transitioned for no reason.

I've been in a pretty vulnerable place for most of my detransition and I have been talking to a therapist throughout. But even with support, this phrase has still harmed me, cause when I'm at my lowest, I believe it. When you're going through a painful experience that doesn't seem to end, the last thing I should be told is that I'm better off dead. My persona mantra I created to mentally respond to "death before detransition", is 'of course you'd pick death, you're to weak to detansition'. Probably not the healthest way to cope but it changes the feeling of hopeless to anger, and also reminds me that I've had the strength to not only start my detransition, but also make it a year into it

I was on T from 17 to 24, and I to passed completely as a man, but there is hope of being seen as a woman again. It will just take time, money and a lot of energy. How I've been getting though this is by first finding a therapist who I connected with and then I broke down the process of detransition into smaller steps. Focus on one thing at a time or you'll get overwelmed and easily fall into dispair. I've been working 2 jobs right now, one that I hate, just so I can afford laser, as the health insurance that this job provides helps with gender affiming care. I'm just embracing the suck, until I feel better about my body. What we are going through is extremely difficult and it's ok to take time to greive, get angry and rest, but try to keep making small steps in detransitioning

If you are an adult, then you are responsible for making your own decisions and for the consequences of those decisions. Also as an autistic person I would never try to infantilize or take away your autonomy. I'm detransitioning because that is what's best for me, I don't make decisions for my body based off of what strangers on the internet say, it's your life, I don't exist as a detrans person to tell you how to live it.

I don't feel comfortable completing this poll, even with mod approval, cause it's too short and not well thought out to get good results. For example, there are multiple reasons why I detranstioned and I can only select one. I also have parts of my transition that were benefital to me, even if I regret transition as a whole. You could look over the results from the survey that was done by this community's mods a couple months ago, it will have similar questions, but will be more detailed.

Your opening survey introduction is concerning to me. "With a sample size this large, the data will only show what is true". You might find patterns and simularities, but to expect to find some "truth" is not the purpose of surveying people. "Answering honestly won't badly reflect on you or your community, so do it." That wasn't a concern of mine, but you clarifing that makes you seem inexperienced on conducting "research". "I won't remember your responses or username given the large sample of the poll". You made it required to provide that, so I don't know what you remembering has to do with that. Lastly I have only had negative experiences from people actice in 4tran4, and although you may be a really nice individual, I don't like the idea of someone in that space running surveys in this community.

Estheticians are going to see a lot of trans clients and obviously want to make them feel comfortable. Being trans friendly = more clients = more money. Personally I picked an electrolysis tech who worked with trans people because I felt more comfortable with her. My anatomy is female, but I'm assumed to be a man, so I want to work with someone who won't be phased by that and start asking uncomfortable questions. My more intimate areas have also been changed due to years of taking T, so having someone who is more knowledgeable on trans people and the effects of hrt, is going to benefit me. How an esthetician wants to market themselves or describe the areas that they work on is up to them, I'm just going to gravitate towards the people who make it clear that they are comfortable working with trans people.

I don't have much to say on men and women's haircuts. I just think suing over that is extreme, but I also don't really see why haircuts need to be gendered. I think haircuts should be charged based off time and we shouldn't gender hair that much.

I knew I liked women before I transitioned, then everything got very confusing during transition. There was a period where I questioned if I liked men, but I wasn't all that interested and I was repulsed by female bodies, so I assumed I was asexual. After seeing more wlw representation and realizing I wanted to detransition, my sexuality resurface and hit me like a ton of bricks. I now know that I'm a masc lesbian and am definitely not asexual. I'm now trying to come to terms with the fact that I spent years transitioning and not developing my relationship skills with women. It really sucks having repressed my sexuality for so long.

I just stopped taking T as well, and I got a call from my doctor at the trans clinic I was attending to make sure everything was ok. I followed up with them 2 years later because I wanted to talk about taking estrogen and getting breast reconstruction. I told my doctor then that I was detransitioning. I don't know if the clinic reports on detrans stats, but if they do, I'm included now.