This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex personal narrative that aligns with the experiences of detransitioners/desisters. The user discusses intimate details of their body image, social interactions, and medical opinions in a way that reads as genuine reflection rather than scripted rhetoric. The passion and criticism towards medical transition and therapy are consistent with the stated reality that some in this community are "passionate and pissed off."
About me
I started as a teenage girl who hated the changes of puberty and felt I had no control over my body. I thought becoming a man would make me stronger and safer, but it was really an escape from trauma and low self-esteem. Medical transition made me feel like a strange hybrid and created a new kind of distress. I deeply regret it and found real healing in therapy that addressed my underlying issues instead of just affirming my feelings. I’ve learned there’s nothing wrong with being a masculine female and that true strength comes from accepting yourself.
My detransition story
My journey with all of this started when I was a teenager. I was born female, and puberty was incredibly difficult for me. I hated the changes, especially developing breasts. It felt like my body was being taken over by something I didn't want and couldn't control. I cut my hair short and started dressing more masculine, but that didn't make things easier. I stopped getting catcalled, but instead, I got bullied relentlessly at school. Guys would tell me to grow my hair back and that I used to be pretty. Even my teachers told me that girls should look feminine. It made me feel like I had no agency over my own body at all. I felt completely trapped.
I started to believe that if I could just pass as a man, everything would be better. I passed pretty well even before I did anything medical. I dated guys who were bisexual and who seemed to like my female characteristics, which was confusing. I think a lot of my feelings were tangled up with sexual trauma I experienced; I thought that by becoming a man, I could escape being a target and feel stronger and safer. I now realize you don't need to change your body so drastically just to feel stronger. You can build muscle as a female. You can do martial arts. It would have been far more beneficial to start therapy to deal with the trauma and my feelings towards my body.
But I didn't do that. I pursued medical transition. I started testosterone. At first, passing better felt good, but then my body started to feel weird and wrong in a new way. I looked manly but still had all my original female parts. It created a new kind of dissonance that was just as distressing. I felt like a strange hybrid. I had already accepted being female on some level, but I struggled with the term "woman." I thought, if I can accept being female, why can't I accept being a woman? I knew I would never be a real man, so what was I even doing?
Looking back, I think a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I had very low self-esteem and was deeply depressed. I thought changing my body was the only way to fix how I felt inside. I was also heavily influenced by what I saw online. When you're 15, it feels like how you feel now is how you'll feel forever, but that's not true. By the time you're 25, you're a completely different person. I really believe it's best not to hurry with medical transition.
I regret my medical transition. I think the medical system failed me. Doctors should provide you with what you need, not just what you want. What you want is not always what you need, and a doctor has a responsibility to diagnose you properly. The informed consent model is absolute lunacy. Most therapists just encourage you to transition instead of helping you figure out the root causes, like trauma or other issues. I benefited greatly from therapy that wasn't just about affirming my gender identity but about digging into why I felt that way.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's not something you need to medically change to be happy. For me, it was a symptom of other problems. I needed to learn to accept my body as it is and find strength within my female self. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a masculine female. I wish I had known that was an option.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 13-14 | Started hating puberty changes, especially breast development. Felt a loss of control over my body. |
| 15 | Cut my hair short and dressed masculine. Was bullied at school by peers and even teachers for not looking feminine. |
| 18 | Started testosterone. Initially felt good about passing better. |
| 19 | Began to feel strange and dissonant about my changing male features combined with my female anatomy. |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone. Started therapy focused on underlying trauma, not just gender affirmation. Began to accept being female. |
Top Comments by /u/Maxwell_I:
I did not start dressing masculine to stop catcalling, though it did after I cut my hair short, but the resulting reaction from people was far worse. Then I just got bullied in school for looking like a boy and guys would constantly tell me to grow my hair back and that I looked pretty with my hair being long etc. even my teachers told me that girls should look feminine. It felt like I have no agency over my own body.
Doctors should provide you with what you need not what you want. What you want is not always what you need and a doctor has a responsibility to diagnose you properly and prescribe or don't prescribe drugs you are asking for. The informed consent is an absolute lunacy.
You don't need to change your body so drastically just to feel stronger. You can build muscle as a female. You can also do martial arts like MMA. It would be far more beneficial to start therapy to learn how to deal with sexual trauma and feelings towards your body.
Honestly, when you are 15 it seems like it can’t get better and that you always feel and think like you do now, but when you’ll be 25 you will most likely not recognise yourself at 15 and think completely different. Thus, its best not to hurry with medical transition. I would suggest therapy to figure out the reasons behind dysphoric feelings, but its expensive and most therapists will encourage you to medically transition. Perhaps, try not to think about gender too much and focus on school and your future goals?
I have already accepted being female, but I do not know about the women thing. I know I will not be a real man, but if I can pass as one, why would I call myself a woman? On the other hand if I can accept being female why can't I accept being a woman? The guys I dated pre and post T were all bisexual and liked the female sex characteristics. I passed pre T but I feel like I looked normal while naked, now I feel weird looking manly and having all the girl parts at the same time.