13 years post-op here. I was on MtF HRT for 15 years, have lived full-time for 15 years and had surgery on my genitalia in 2006. It never felt right. The first few years I was over the moon with my transition. I thought I became female. But after a couple of years it started sinking in that I was a male with a surgically created fronthole that can not be called a vagina. I also experienced lots of unpleasantness down there. I was confronted with urinary tract infections and yeast infections almost all the time. That’s very common for post-op MtFs. Even if the surgery goes well. My surgical results were considered excellent and it still anatomically was a mess if you thought about it and dissected the procedure in smaller steps. I have a piece of penis head hanging between slices of scrotal sac. My urethra was chopped apart. Of course I don’t feel well down there. How could I be when someone performed such a barbaric method on the most sensitive organ that my body used to have?

I respect your decision to want to continue living as a trans woman. I hope you find some peace and satisfaction in life leaving this brutish process behind you, but don’t hide your experience. It’s important that voices like ours are heard for generations to come. Young trans kids need to wake up and realise what they get themselves into.

You can’t stop them. They have to stop themself. It’s like going to the bar and waking up with a hangover next day. As long as you are drinking everything is fun and you don’t understand all the fuzz that people make about alcohol. It’s only next day when you are vomitting and have a huge headache that you start to realise that people said this for your own good.

Let this person be. Be there for them when the storm is laying down.

Yes. For 15 years. Until I got sane again and realised that a man with tons of plastic surgery is still not a woman. I’ll be on testosterone replacement for the rest of my life, I live with an inverted penis hole and I had my silicone tits taken out. But I’m a sane man after all again. A handicapped sane man. I’m lucky. I got out of this cult alive.

Going through life as someone who you are not is the right path sometime? TIL

I didn’t say I was in charge and I wasn’t dictating anyone. I just shared the sad fatum of my transgender friend who is no longer alive because of this sect.

Even those who appear happy at first sight hide deep wounds that they try to mask as good as possible.

You are 19 years old, coping with body insecurity and desperately wanting to be a “girl” if I go through your post history for a brief moment. We were were you are too before we arrived here and came to insight. You have not reached that point yet. I hope you have a good therapist.

Unfortunately there was no other option at the time than transition. I was correctly diagnosed as transsexual. To this day still am convinced that I’m transsexual. But my stance on transitioning is a bit different than that of other people. I believe I still am a male, was a male during my period as a MtF person and was a male before my period as a MtF person. I don’t want to see transition abolished. I do believe it helps to relieve dysphoria. I just believe that no one can change what they were born as. That’s the difference. In that regard I subscribe to gendercritical theory. There is nothing wrong with transitioning or being trans to relieve dysphoria but there is something wrong with thinking that it makes you something different than you were born as. Because that’s lies by ommission. And when I started to see for myself how wrong a lot of LGBT ideology is represented, I came to realise that I was doomed to a lifelong medicalization of my own body that used to be perfectly healthy as it was. And there are pros and cons to that: pros: dysphoria was strongly decreased. Cons: I was living an artificial man-made existence instead of a natural reality. And it was that last one that bothered me and bugged me enough to consider detransitioning. I don’t blame or hate myself for having transitioned. It was the only viable option at the time that I did it, to cope with dysphoria. But had I been placed for the choice today instead of 17 years ago (my intake assessment) I would have chosen a different route than the one I chose. But I’m not fretting over it. What’s done is done. Living with hate and resentment is never a healthy way forward. Consistently re-evaluating your own identity and how it changed through experiences and through getting older is the right way forward. Life is a lifelong student course. This also explains how cognitive behavior came on my path to cope with everything. Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change. I was looking at a manufactured pseudoman woman. When I realised that, I felt the need to drop the artificial walls that standed between me and reality.

Well written post that rings very true. I’m a post-op transwoman and I detransitioned back to life as a man. I am back on testosterone and I feel healthier on it. You can’t change your biology. I don’t think you can change anyone’s mind. They need to come for themself to the conclusion that transition doesn’t work.

I’m looking at what’s possible surgically and what’s not too harsh on my body that already suffered enough over the years with the first set of drastic medical interventions that I underwent. Top surgery will definitely happen. Removal of implants and removal of breast tissue. Bottom surgery may potentially happen. I will definitely have the vaginal canal closed. Total phalloplasty remains to be discussed. For now I have a packer. I started testosterone replacement therapy on Friday. I chose for the shots. I’m also exercising a lot to retrain muscle groups. Facial masculinization surgery remains another option that is to be discussed.

Detransition is not as rare as the trans community wants you to believe it is. More and more detransition documentaries are being made and this will become common practice over the coming decade. Especially with how easily hormones and surgery are handed out these days. I feel bad for the generations of young kids who transition these days and will awaken from a cold and hard reality in a decade or at most two decades from now. Online they are being encouraged to transition and immediately validated with <<yes, you are absolutely trans>>. The trans community is a very unstable community that is operating a catastrophic train. The post-Caitlyn Jenner era, where being gay isn’t cool enough anymore in highschools. So why not hand out hormones in lunchboxes? Sounds far fetched? Not at all.