This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user demonstrates deep, consistent, and highly specific engagement with the complex and often controversial theories common in that community (e.g., AGP, AAP, autohomoeroticism, Blanchard's typology). The language is analytical, personal, and contains the passionate and sometimes angry tone typical of individuals who feel they have been harmed. The comments show a pattern of asking probing, personal questions to understand others' experiences, which is consistent with a genuine, albeit very opinionated, member of the community.
About me
I started feeling a deep discomfort with my female body when I hit puberty, and I hated the way I developed. I was heavily influenced by online media, and I now realize a lot of my desire to become a man was tied to sexual fantasies. I started taking testosterone, but I never felt like it was enough and I was constantly anxious about my progress. I deeply regret the permanent changes to my body and the influence I had on my younger sibling. Now, I've stopped hormones and I'm just trying to figure out who I am without any labels.
My detransition story
My entire transition journey began out of a deep discomfort that started during puberty. I hated the development of my breasts and felt intensely uncomfortable with the female figure I was developing. This wasn't just about appearance; I felt weak and inadequate because of my femaleness and hated being sexualized as a woman. I spent a lot of my formative years in male-dominated spaces and always felt more comfortable there, surrounded by males rather than females.
A lot of my initial questioning was influenced by what I saw online. I consumed a lot of media, including hentai and erotic material depicting male homosexuality. I now believe this played a significant role in my desire to transition. I began to fetishize the idea of being in a homosexual relationship as a man, which is a concept I later learned is sometimes called autohomoeroticism. The idea of having male anatomy was also sexually arousing to me independently of social interactions, which points to autoandrophilia (AAP).
I started my transition socially, presenting as male and asking people to use male pronouns for me. I eventually started abusing testosterone, hoping it would give me a more masculine figure and help me be perceived as a man. I got a nose ring and earrings that stretched my earlobes, which I now see was a way to signal to others that I was a "true" FtM, even though it has become a bit of a caricature.
The testosterone did cause some changes, like deepening my voice and some facial changes, but it never felt like enough. I was constantly worried about my hormone levels and whether I was making any progress. I struggled to see a happy future for myself either as a trans man or if I detransitioned back to living as a female.
My younger sibling also began to identify as trans around this time, and I can't help but feel that my own transition influenced them. It seems like too much of a coincidence, and I now believe I should have sat down with my sibling and our parents to talk through everything. My parents were the conformist liberal types who immediately affirmed my decision without any pushback. I sometimes wonder if I would have been better off if they had questioned me more instead of just affirming everything.
I decided to stop taking testosterone. I realized that many of the changes, like my voice and facial structure, are largely irreversible. My fat is redistributing back to a female pattern, so my breasts have become a bit fuller, but I know I will never fully return to my pre-transition state. I have to live with that.
I am now trying to figure out who I am without the label of being trans. I'm considering just staying off hormones and presenting as a feminine male for a while to see how that feels. My attraction has always been complicated. I'm primarily attracted to men, but I think seeing myself as a man made me more comfortable with that attraction because it removed the taboo of it being a homosexual relationship.
I have many regrets about my transition. I regret the irreversible changes I've made to my body and the influence I had on my sibling. I regret not understanding that my sex is something biologically innate that I should have just accepted in the background instead of seeing it as something I needed to achieve or change. I'm trying to move on from the past and find a way to live without constantly taking my gender into account.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
13 | Began to feel intense discomfort with puberty and breast development. |
16 | Started consuming online media that influenced my view of gender and sexuality. |
17 | Began to socially transition, using male pronouns and a male name. |
19 | Started taking testosterone. |
20 | Got a nose ring and stretched earlobes as part of my FtM identity. |
21 | Stopped taking testosterone and began the process of detransitioning. |
21 | Realized the extent of my regrets and began to accept my female biology. |
Top Comments by /u/Menmondon:
- Trans men would most likely be automatically disqualified from entering women sports (possible all competetive sports) since they're taking Testosterone,a banned substance used for doping.
- Sex-segregated spaces exist for women sake and not for mens sake since the threat posed by men to women is assymetrical.
Why do you feel the need to be proud of being a women given that you did absolutely nothing yourself to be born as a female?
Start seeing your sex as something biologically innate that passively happens in the background and not as an achivement and just live without taking it into regard.
Your voice and facial won't revert back much even if you quit abusing Testosterone,so you could do just that and continue living posing as a man while you make your mind up if you want to detransition fully (I am assuming your ovaries are still functioning).
I hate to write this but it's probably not a coincidence that your younger sibling became trans as well;young people tend to look up to their family members and chances are your sibling wouldn't have transitioned if you hadn't done it first,I'd reccomend you sit down together with your younger sibiling and parents and talk your transgenderism trough.
5'8'' may be on the short side but is still within the normal male range.
What was the reason you transitioned to begin with and what made you detransition?
I'm assuming your surroundings were initially supportive of your transition;do you fell they did you a disservice by being that and that you would ultimately have been better off if they'd push backed instead of affirmed?
Are you attracted to men or women?
Do you have an residual effects from the puberty blockers like short stature or underdevopled genitalia?
How did your relatives respond do your decision to detransition,especially your parents (who I assume were initially supportive of your deicison to transgenderize since you were a minor when it all began).
You look female in all the pictures,although I'd assume you're an angry butch lesbian in the picture without the wig.
I know this may sound offensive,but consider dropping the nosering and those earrings that strech your earlobes (you can wear normal earrings) since those make you look like a pooner charicature/meme and may cause people to assume that you actually want to be gendered as a trans man.
Like a wrote: most of the changes that Testosterone abuse resulted in are largely irreversible (although your fat will redistribute back to a female pattern if you quit abusing Testosterone so your breasts will probably become a bit fuller) so you should quite abusing Testosterone while continuing to present as a man until you've fully made your mind up whether you want to detranstion or not.
Also talk to your parents about your sibilings transgenderism;transgenders make up less than 1% of the population so it sure seems like a coincidence that both of you became trans on your own.
Are your parents the conformist liberal types that immidiately affirmed your delusions or did they attempt to push back when you initially decided to trans yourself?
Visible abs (and to a lesser extent other muscles) result primarily from low body fat,so if you're uncomfortable with the apperance then simply gain some weight.
You won't lose any muscles from gaining weight (why would you want to?),but you will get a fuller and more feminine figure.
A lot of FtM are autohomoeroticists (transitoning because they fetishize opposite sex homosexuality and want to participate in a homosexual relationship as a member of the opposite sex) and most of them get their autohomoerotical desires from an excessive consumption of MLM maga/hentai and Yaoi which would make them a Fujoshi.
Do you watch errotica/porn depicting male homosexuality or are you in any way aroused by the idea of having male anatomy?
When you state that you cannot see yourself as a women,are you referring to being uncomfortable with your (female) anatomy,and if so which specific body parts?
Are you sexually attracted to males or females?
When you imagine yourself as a male;would you say you imagine yourself as a masculine or feminine male?