This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user's comments are highly detailed, emotionally consistent, and describe a long, difficult, and very specific personal journey with detransitioning, including struggles with insurance, surgeons, voice training, and personal identity. The depth of personal experience and the evolution of their story over time strongly indicate a real person.
About me
I started transitioning at 22 because I was deeply uncomfortable with my female body and thought becoming a man was the answer. I took testosterone and had my breasts removed, but a college course made me realize I didn't actually want to be male. I stopped hormones and am now trying to reclaim being a woman. The hardest part is dealing with the aftermath of my surgery, as getting reconstruction is a difficult and expensive fight. I finally feel like myself again, but I profoundly regret the permanent changes I made to my body.
My detransition story
My name is Maryanne, and this is the story of my transition and detransition. For me, it all started when I was around 22. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially during and after puberty. I hated my breasts and felt a strong sense of wrongness with developing as a woman. I found a lot of community and identity online and with friends who were also transitioning, and it felt like the answer to all my discomfort. I came out as non-binary first, but that quickly evolved into identifying as a trans man. I think a lot of it was a form of escapism; I was running away from myself and the things I found difficult about being a woman.
When I was 25, I asked to go on testosterone. I was an adult, and the medical system made it very easy for me. I can't blame them for allowing an adult who said they were a man to start HRT. I took testosterone for several years. It changed my voice, gave me facial hair, and made my body more masculine. During that time, I also made the decision to get top surgery—a double mastectomy to remove my breasts. I remember feeling uncertain leading up to it, but I pushed those feelings down. I saw how happy other trans people were and I yearned for that. I got what I wanted: no one saw me as a woman anymore. And for a while, that felt great.
But eventually, it stopped feeling great. The turning point was a Queer Theory course I took in college. We deconstructed gender as a social construct, and it sent me spiraling. I thought, if none of these things really make someone a man or a woman, then why was I doing all of this? I had always had doubts that I squashed down, but hearing a scholar talk about it and reading those papers forced me to confront the reality that I didn't want to be a man. I had transitioned anyway, and that was on me.
I quit testosterone cold turkey during my last semester of college. It was a lot. The hormone imbalance was intense. I cried all the time, and my emotions were all over the place. My periods came back after a month or two, but they were and still are really wacky, lasting for weeks at a time. It was stressful, but I have no regrets about stopping. The thought of doing another shot was something I just couldn't handle.
The hardest part of all of this has been dealing with the aftermath of my mastectomy. I committed one of the biggest acts of self-harm I ever had. I am now in the long, difficult, and expensive process of trying to get breast reconstruction surgery. It is so much harder to get this surgery than it was to remove my breasts. I've had multiple consultations, and I'm facing roadblocks with doctors and insurance. The surgeon I'm seeing specializes in reconstruction for cancer patients, but they are making me jump through hoops as if I have gender dysphoria, requiring letters of recommendation that are hard to get. The doctor who prescribed my testosterone and signed off on my mastectomy won't write a letter for my reconstruction because she says she isn't qualified to talk about detransitioning. It’s incredibly frustrating. I’ve been told the reconstruction might cost $20,000 to $30,000 out of pocket if insurance won’t cover it. The new breasts will never look or feel like my natural ones; they will not have sensation, and I will never be able to breastfeed.
Socially, detransitioning has been a journey of reclaiming my femininity. I grew my hair out and got bangs to cover a male hair pattern. I wear a lot of feminine clothing—big, baggy sweaters and leggings to hide my flat chest and accentuate my hips and thighs. I wear mascara and foundation every day to look more feminine and cover my stubble. I thrift most of my clothes, finding fun, feminine prints and textures. I even bought a soft, padded maternity bra that adds a little shape and, weirdly, feels comforting to wear. It feels good to wear a bra again. I trained my voice back to a female range by singing songs by female artists like Katy Perry in the car. It took time and my voice cracked a lot, but now I’m recognized as a woman over the phone without question.
I lost some friends through this, but the right people stayed. Using the women's bathroom again feels right, once the initial fear of being mistaken for a man wore off. I don't have to deal with the awkwardness of men's bathrooms anymore.
I don't regret my detransition for a second. I get to be a woman again, and that feels like such a blessing. But I do have profound regrets about my transition, especially the surgeries. I wish I had listened to the part of me that wondered if I was making a mistake. I am proud that I made the right decision for myself in the end, but I don't feel "detrans pride." This wasn't a positive experience; it was incredibly painful. I am better off now only because I am no longer going down a path that was wrong for me. My hope is that by sharing my story, others might avoid the same pain.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 22 | Began to feel strong discomfort with female puberty and breasts. Started identifying as non-binary. |
| 25 | Started testosterone hormone therapy (HRT). |
| 27 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 28 | Took a Queer Theory course that caused me to question my transition. |
| 28 | Stopped testosterone cold turkey. Began social detransition. |
| 28 | Began laser hair removal on my face and started voice training. |
| 29 | Started the process of seeking breast reconstruction surgery. |
| 29 | Underwent surgery to have chest expanders placed as the first step toward reconstruction. |
Top Comments by /u/Milokdraws:
I saw your post in the trans subreddit. Saw how people reacted to your concerns. I’m so sorry. I’m glad you decided to post here.
I also pushed down those feelings leading up to my mastectomy. And wish I hadn’t. The grieving process is real. The regret is real. I tried to feel good about it. But when I eventually realized I didn’t even want to be a man in the first place. I spiraled. I made a huge mistake. Committed one of the biggest acts of self harm I ever had. All in an effort to run away from myself.
A lot of us go down the path laid out by other trans people, hearing how happy they were, seeing how well the passed, yearning for that. I got what I wanted. No one saw me as a woman anymore. And that was great. Until it wasn’t. And suddenly the weight of deciding on an irreversible surgery hits you. And you cant go back. And that hits hard. And it hurts. I cried everyday for a long long time.
And that’s how you deal with loss. You cry.
I’m all for detrans awareness, and humanizing detransitioners but I refuse to aline myself with right wing politics.
They’re not speaking on this issue to support me or any of us. They’re speaking on this issue and using stories like mine to promote a close minded rhetoric.
Going off T feels like a lot yes. I did not taper off, but for those willing to do so, it is recommended by this community generally. Testosterone reduced my anxiety and boosted my mood, so going back to such vivid emotions and crying all the time was difficult. But I don’t regret it. It had to be done.
I generally waited until people called me mam before using the women’s bathroom. I was getting really mixed surveys by asking friends if I read as a woman. Trans friends really hesitated to say I did, likely due to them happily telling me how manly I looked before, how they couldn’t even tell I was trans. It took a couple months of androgyny, dressing more feminine, growing out my hair a bit, before I was unanimously seen as female. In the mean time I used gender neutral bathrooms when I could.
The fat redistribution is slow, but reassuring if anything. If you want to be read as a woman again, it’ll feel like a relief.
Good luck to you, feel free to message if you have more questions 🌼✨
With the long hair pictures you definitely read as male. And not a teenage boy. But a man in their late 30s. I think the volume you have with your short hair in the first photo helps the most. Unfortunately maintaining a feminine looks does take more effort, I have to wake up early everyday so I can style my short hair to look more feminine. I also have to wear make up and jewelry because, like you, I have very light eyelashes and an androgynous face. Mascara is a huuuuge help. Can’t leave the house without it. These things do not define you or your gender, but they do give clues to people to help them determine how you’d like to be addressed. Wish you the best 💛
Harmful. I see where you’re going with this but I simply cannot glorify or celebrate what I’ve gone through and am still going through. I don’t feel pride.
I would love to look at this as a positive experience. I am certainly better off now. But I am better off because I’m no longer going down a path that was wrong for me. I think the last thing detrans should be is anything like the movement we’re leaving. I don’t want pins that identify me. I don’t wish for characters to have my backstory. I definitely don’t want to see anymore fanart of mastectomy scars. I simply wish that no one need go through this pain.
I am proud that I made the right decision for myself, but it’s not the same as trans pride, nor would I ever want it to feel that way.
I feel this. The early stages of detransitioning are really difficult. It feels like a race.
Us detrans women worked so hard to look like men, we spent so much time, money, and emotional work only to realize we were going in the wrong direction. And it’ll take even more time, money, and emotional work to get back to being seen as a woman. I remember how I spent hours singing and training my voice, recording myself, over analyzing my interactions to gauge how people perceived me. I bought expensive extensions to lengthen my hair, cause it just wouldn’t grow fast enough. I got laser, and still to this day pluck the hairs from my chin and side burns. I’ve spent so much money on appointments and consultations chasing after breast reconstruction. I keep trying new clothes, new styles, new make up.
And though I’ve still got things I’m trying to work on, I look back and see how far I’ve come. You’re doing great. You’re going through a very difficult time. And that’s what this is. Difficult.
You’re gonna be okay. You will see the progress, and so will the people around you. We support you 🌼💛✨
Thank you so much for the update, I’m so happy to see such positivity here <3 You should be so proud! I’ve seen your posts in the past, and I’m so grateful to hear about your happiness.
I’m only two months off T and grappling with my mastectomy has been really difficult. I’m so glad to hear that the reconstruction has gone well and that there’s many amazing things to look forward to. What great news that breast reconstruction can be covered by insurance! I had no idea. I will definitely look into this surgeon when I’m ready.
I’m not fooling myself. I’m not choosing to believe anything. I know they know how to do reconstructive surgery. And they know I’m not a mentally ill male. I’m very clearly a female and they’ve seen my scars.
The issue is they’re having me go through these hoops as though it is gender dysphoria. What am I supposed to do? Fight them? I’m doing what they’re asking me to because I want the surgery.
I don’t much care for the tone of your reply. I’m upset god dammit.
As one of many women on this sub who had top surgery and regrets it, I cannot stress enough how much I wish I had listened to the part of me that wondered if I was making a mistake. I felt uncertain. But did it anyway.
Now I am in the process of trying to get reconstructive surgery. It is a much harder process than it was to remove my breasts. I’ve been to many many expensive appointments trying to undo what I did. If they approve me for this surgery, they will never look like the natural breasts I had before, they will not feel sensation, and they will not produce breast milk.
No one can stop you. But this is a decision that can’t be reversed.
Yeah, I plan to. I use to have really long red hair. I don’t think it’s really red anymore, but I feel kinda desperate to reclaim as much femininity as I can rn.
Unfortunately I had to lose some of the length I had to have this more feminine style with the bangs. But the bangs make such a huge difference covering up the male hair pattern and helping me pass as a woman.