This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The user demonstrates:
- Personal, specific medical details (orchiectomy, 1.5 years on estrogen, specific effects of hormones).
- Internal consistency in their story across multiple comments.
- Complex, nuanced advice that reflects the difficult and often contradictory reality of detransition, including the decision to resume cross-sex hormones for quality of life.
- Emotional resonance and passion that aligns with the stated experiences of harm and regret.
This reads as a genuine account of a detransitioned individual.
About me
I was born male and my journey started because I never felt like I fit in with other boys, and I thought becoming a woman was the solution to my anxiety and low self-esteem. I deeply regret having surgery, as it left me reliant on hormones and unable to go back to how I was. I tried to detransition but hated the side effects of testosterone, so I made a practical choice to go back on estrogen just for my health. I’ve resigned myself to living as a feminine man, and I’m in a loving relationship that has shown me acceptance is about who you are. My advice is to be absolutely sure and focus on building a life you love in the body you have.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been complicated, and looking back, I see a lot of things I wish I had understood about myself first. I was born male, but I never felt like I fit in with the other boys. I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, and I now realize I also have OCD, which I think played a huge part in my fixation on transitioning. I became obsessed with the idea that becoming a woman was the solution to all my problems.
I started taking estrogen and was on it for about a year and a half. During that time, I also had an orchiectomy. That’s the decision I regret the most. I wish I had only made cosmetic changes, because now I’m reliant on exogenous hormones forever. It’s a permanent consequence of a choice I made when I wasn't thinking clearly. After the surgery, I tried to detransition. I went off estrogen and tried to live as a man again, but my body couldn't produce testosterone anymore, so I had to take that instead. I hated it. I got bad mood swings and acne, and the changes from estrogen, like having breasts, were still there. I felt stuck.
I started working out hard and wearing compression tops to try and look more masculine because I didn't want to be mistaken for a woman. It just makes life harder. I can't even grow facial hair anymore, which is a constant reminder of what I did. I don't want to embrace any of the changes; I want to reverse as much as I possibly can.
After a while of struggling with the testosterone, I made a practical decision. I went back on estrogen, not because I identify as a woman, but because it stabilizes my mood and the physical changes aren't that drastic. I’ve resigned myself to just living as a slightly feminine male. The only people who know I take estrogen are my live-in boyfriend and my doctors. I’m in a loving, long-term relationship with a man, and he doesn’t care about my surgery. It showed me that real relationships are about who you are, not what’s between your legs.
I’ve come to believe that life is way easier as a gay man than as a trans woman. Being trans was incredibly awkward and caused me so much mental turmoil that it outweighed any benefits for me. Unless you pass perfectly, which is rare, it’s a constant struggle. And even if you do pass, people might still be able to tell on some level. I think a lot of people, especially young ones, don't realize how difficult it can be in the real world, with discrimination in workplaces and social situations.
My advice to anyone questioning is to be 10,000% sure, and even then, to be cautious. I’d tell them to lay off the porn, which can fuel unrealistic ideas, and to focus on building a life they’re passionate about through education, a career, or hobbies. If you become a cool person worth knowing, you’ll attract good people, and you can figure out how you fit into the world in the one and only body you’ll ever have.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early 20s | Started taking estrogen (HRT). |
| Around 23 | Underwent orchiectomy. |
| Around 24 | Stopped estrogen and attempted to detransition by taking testosterone. |
| Around 25 | Stopped testosterone due to negative side effects and resumed taking estrogen for practical health reasons. |
Top Comments by /u/MilwaukeeMaker:
If you’re more of a bottom I can tell you gay guys don’t really care. I had an orchiectomy and I’m in a loving long term relationship. Real relationships (not sexual encounters) have more to do with having a good personality not what is between your legs.
Just want to say, passing 100% of the time doesn’t necessarily mean people can’t tell. Look up what the sunk cost fallacy is and reconsider what you actually want. The truth is only you can decide what is best for you given the situation you currently find yourself in.
I struggle with it still and my life is very very good by most people’s standards. Ultimately it’s up to you but life is way easier as a gay man unless you pass very well, and even still the mental turmoil being trans takes on you outweighed any benefits for me.
I have ocd too and I definitely think that played a part in my mistakes, I have many of the same sexual ideations as well.
My advice to you is to lay off the porn, lay off anything too extremely feminine or too extremely masculine but don’t be afraid to break the mold a bit, and just find something in life that brings you joy. Find a passion through education, career, or your hobbies to focus your energy on.
If you become a cool person worth knowing you’ll attract good people along the way and you can figure out how you fit into society song the way born in the one and only body that will ever be given to you.
Excuse me if you are legally an adult.
Once you mature more and support yourself as an independent adult you may start to understand discrimination in the workplace or in other social situations. You don’t even have to be trans to experience it, especially if you are queer, a poc, or a woman.
You hormones are probably all fucked up from taking t as a female. Women have way touchier hormonal balances than men do, so I would assume recovery is harder in certain cases. You need to see a doctor and wait it out. Scrubbing with epsom salt would help a little but you need to fix your hormones.
I wish I had only made cosmetic changes tbh, I had an orchiectomy so I’m reliant on exogenous hormones forever. It’s just something you have to realize is reality for you now, try to learn to accept it, and find ways to live with your past choices. Basically the same can be said about any regrets
I’m a mtftm so you might not find value in what I have to say.
I still kinda have man boobs but I don’t embrace them. I wear compression tank tops and work out hard to help look more masculine. I don’t want to be mistaken for a female, it makes things harder on me.
I can’t even grow facial hair anymore so I don’t want to embrace anything I did to myself while I was deluded. I want to reverse as much as I possibly can.
Lucky you, maybe if you stay in the same area you have been your whole life and don’t socialize outside the group you interact with currently it will stay that way.
There are some really good people in the world but just because you have lived a sheltered existence without having to experience discrimination doesn’t mean it isn’t a very real thing lots of people have to struggle with.
No I did not. I de transitioned after being on e for 1.5 years and having an orchi. I got back on e after a while of testosterone bc I didn’t like the mood swings and acne from the t and the changes I had from estrogen weren’t that noticeable. I’ve resigned to just live as a slightly feminine male. The only people who know I take estrogen are my live in boyfriend and my doctors.