This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The comments show:
- Consistent, nuanced perspective: The user discusses complex personal topics like trauma, dissociation, and internal conflict with a consistent, reflective voice.
- Personal investment: They share specific, plausible details from their own life (e.g., history of CSA, being a singer, a long-term struggle with depression and dysphoria).
- Appropriate passion: The tone is passionate and critical of gender ideology, which is consistent with genuine detransitioner/desister experiences.
The account does not exhibit the hallmarks of a bot, such as repetitive, generic phrases or a disjointed narrative. The evidence points to a real person sharing their desister experience.
About me
I started detaching from my body as a young female to cope with trauma, and I saw transition as an escape from that pain. I never pursued hormones or surgery because I knew my discomfort was rooted in dissociation, not in being the wrong sex. My healing began when I addressed my trauma directly and realized my body was never the problem. I now understand that my journey was about self-acceptance, rejecting rigid gender roles, and embracing being a gay woman. I've found peace by reconnecting with my biological reality instead of trying to change it.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started with a lot of pain and confusion from a very young age. I experienced childhood sexual abuse and ongoing trauma, which led me to disconnect from my body as a way to cope. I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. I never felt comfortable with the rigid gender roles and expectations placed on me as a female. I hated the development of my breasts during puberty; it felt like a betrayal and made my body dysmorphia and discomfort much worse.
I looked into transition for a long time. I saw it as a way to escape the body and the life that felt so wrong and so painful. But deep down, I knew my feelings were rooted in trauma and disassociation. I had this gut feeling that medically altering myself wouldn't fix the deep-seated issues, so I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I'm incredibly grateful for that instinct now.
A lot of my healing came from finally understanding that my discomfort wasn't about being born in the wrong body, but about being deeply disconnected from the one I have because of what was done to me. Working through that trauma, layer by layer, has been my real journey. A pivotal moment for me was a psychedelic experience I had when I was much younger. It was transformative and helped me see through the facade I had built. It showed me that the power to find my own answers was inside me all along.
I’ve also come to see how internalized homophobia played a role. I think part of me believed it would be easier for my family if I were a straight man rather than a gay woman. But I’ve realized that their comfort is not my responsibility. Becoming a whole person meant breaking away from their expectations and learning to accept myself as I am—a feminine person who is attracted to women. It’s better to do the hard work of cutting that emotional cord than to cut up a body and still be unhappy.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s often a mask for deeper pain. For me, trying to change my gender was a form of escapism. I’ve found much more peace in accepting the biological reality of my body while rejecting the narrow boxes society tries to put us in. Feminine men and masculine women are beautiful; we don't need to change our bodies to express who we are inside. I see it as a unique strength.
I don’t regret transitioning medically because I never did it. I only ever transitioned socially in my own mind, and I regret the years I spent thinking that was the only answer. I regret not seeking the right kind of therapy sooner. I’ve benefited immensely from non-affirming therapy that focused on my trauma, depression, and anxiety instead of encouraging me to transition. It helped me understand the root causes of my distress.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| ? | Experienced childhood sexual abuse and ongoing trauma. |
| ? | Struggled with depression, body dysmorphia, and discomfort during puberty. Hated breast development. |
| ? | Had a transformative psychedelic experience that provided early insight. |
| ? | Explored social transition ideation but never pursued medical intervention. |
| ? | Began trauma-focused therapy, which helped uncover the roots of my dysphoria. |
| Present | Working on self-acceptance as a female who is homosexual and rejects rigid gender roles. |
Top Comments by /u/MimsyBird:
Feminine men are beautiful, inside and out. When native elders spoke about “two spirit people” they were really talking about spiritual, emotional, and ethical strength that all could learn from and strive to emulate. I hope you come to see it as a unique strength instead of trying to cram yourself into a very limited box. You are beautiful! ❤️
Wow, this is truly sad.It’s hard to fathom how a person can make such a huge life-altering decision because of something so trivial. Is it people who are not adept at going inward and connecting to their inner selves in a deep way? I really want to understand.
Yes it is. I can’t speak for anyone else, but In my personal and internal experience is that it’s related to multiple factors. For me it was CSA and ongoing trauma through childhood. The trauma led me to use disassociation from my body as a coping mechanism. Add on top of that, the cruel gender role expectations imposed upon us. Since I’ve experienced depression since childhood, I never attempted to alter myself medically because I knew that my dysphoria/disassociation was deep seated so I’ve been working on uncovering the layers most of my life, still am. I am very grateful for this group because I often discover many facets of myself that I haven’t looked at.
I totally agree with CustomerNumerous. I’m a singer and that’s exactly what I’m hearing. My reaction is, “Ouch, you’re hurting your vocal cords!” Get a voice coach. Even a regular singing coach will help you eliminate the vocal fry so you can save your vocal cords. If you keep up the fry, you will eventually develop nodes on your cords and you’ll have to live with it. You can do it!
I think for some of us, it’s a personal revelation that we come to. Many of us detransition because we feel that changing this fact is futile, and it’s too difficult to live in society and with ourselves when we are either trying to mask or hide this reality. And not be accepted by others, which is very hurtful. It hurts when people especially our friends and loved ones, don’t see us as we see ourselves; everyone wants to be truly seen. This bio fact is a big wall we realize we cannot overcome and it gets too painful to feel we are living inauthentically. Maybe it’s sort of a mantra to hold onto while we struggle with continuing dysphoria, but our somehow relieved to be living more authentically?
It’s your body and yours alone. So why would transitioning be better for your family? Do you mean that they would be more comfortable if you identify as a straight male rather than as a gay woman? Their comfort is not your responsibility. Eventually they would learn to accept you just as you are and just the way you choose and the way that makes you happy. A big part of becoming an adult is breaking away from our parents and their influence on us, and deciding exactly what’s right for us. It’s not easy, but all of us have to cut the cord to be a whole person. Better to do that then to cut up parts of our body that would still leave us unhappy. I wish you the best.
Thank you for bringing this up! I tripped when I was much younger but not as an older person. I remember how transformative it is. It can definitely give you some answers by peeling away the facade. You’ve reminded me that the power to go deeper and get my own answers is right in my own hands. Thank you!