I'm almost certain that he just likes your birth name more/feels more attached to it because its familiar and is using the trans thing to justify it. That is what changing your name does though, to everyone. If he or someone else you were close to changed their name to something you didn't like, you'd probably be uncomfortable calling them that too, even though you believe it's their right. I think you should try to make your birth name your own. It's an important piece of your history. Changing your name puts a degree of separation between you and your past. 

Is it possible that you're experiencing limerent attraction to this person because he's unavailable? I sort of had a comparable experience with a friend but I eventually realized I wasn't truly sexually interested and just wanted him to love me because I had placed him on a pedestal. 

The more you bind, the more aware you are when you are not binding, which will create a cycle of dependency. I used to have to sleep with a high neck compression sports bra every night but I started having back problems which put an end to that. It's possible to desensitize the area to an extent. I'm at a point now where I can go jogging in just my t shirt, although my chest is pretty small. A breast reduction may be too expensive now, but it's something to save up for if you want. In the meantime, maybe losing weight or ordering a high quality sports bra could help. I wish there was an easy answer because despite everything I still have the same problem. Just don't hurt yourself, buddy.

I think a good metric is probably to avoid that sort of compliment with anyone who is discernibly trying to feminize their appearance, whether male or female. Conversely if she is dressed and styled like a tomboy, that's a strong sign that she's comfortable with projecting masculinity and prefers it over femininity. When someone realizes they have mistaken me for a man, they sometimes get flustered and apologize and I usually tell them that if it bothered me I'd just grow my hair out.

Unfortunately there is no trick here that will force a integration. Your sexuality is configured around your anatomy. Transition usually necessitates that people give up on sex, for one reason or another. But if you can find any reason to detransition, I would try, as having high testosterone is very hard on your body.

I can't diagnose you but your feelings for this man strike me as very developmentally abnormal and fraught. Straight and bisexual women are generally able to feel attraction to a variety of men and without necessarily having to have a close relationship with them. I imagine you're more secure in your lesbianism because that's your experience with women. 

When you say it feels unnatural to date guys, you have never liked one up until this point, that the bisexual label feels wrong, it leads me to believe you probably are a lesbian and you have stockholmed yourself into a kind of pseudo-attraction to him due to the turbulent emotional nature of your relationship. Regardless, you know now that your experiment with replacing him is not going to yield. Labels are largely unimportant. If you need a word, you can just describe yourself as "questioning" until things start to become more clear to you. But it's true that lesbians can't have an exception. It's the name of the game.

I'm deeply sorry about your friend. I hope he can get some help. 

That's understandable. I'm sort of like a crossdresser myself but that doesn't sit right with me either much of the time. But as you can see from the other comments, autogynephilia is associated just as much with trans people as it is with crossdressing. In both instances, people from a distance will just observe a male wearing women's clothing and make a snap judgement. Conversely, anyone who gets to know you will learn that you are not a fetishist. Those who are liberal enough to accept you as one will generally accept you as the other too. So the distinction is largely semantic. Maybe you pass enough to be stealth, but maybe not and there will still be everyone in your life who knew you from before so it's hard to hide. I'm the same age as you and I don't know if I want to transition either but I've elected to wait until my brain is fully developed at 25-30 before I do anything permanent. I know less about mtfs but there's a lot of potential health complications for females on testosterone so I would just do a ton of research and make sure you understand to the greatest extent possible what hrt could do to your body. It's kind of a huge gamble with your health and your social life and I honestly would never recommend that anyone go through with it unless they are intractably suicidal.

Most women don't view men like that. The women who say those sorts of things are in an insular hate movement, like incels. They have never had male friends. It's not the truth about you and that's why it hurts your pride. Men are ordinary people. They can be perverts or saints. They can be feminine or masculine. They can look one way or another. These things are also true of women. You've reminded me of a quote I taped on my wall: "We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made of us." -- Jean-Paul Sartre

Good luck with therapy if you pursue it. I hope you can find some peace. 

You don't belong fully in either camp, which creates the need for a new camp. That is, androgynous males with GID. You may need to compartmentalize sometimes to meet your social obligations. Think about the people in your life and ask yourself, is it a better idea (safer, more convenient, more advantageous, etc.) to appear as a woman to this person or a man? I think with people you're close to, you should tell them both that you're a male and that you have dysphoria, because it demonstrates trust and understanding. With others, I think you should just default to whatever they see you as because the interactions are transactional anyways. You do not owe an explanation to strangers, especially strangers who are liable to reject you. To kill yourself over this is to sacrifice yourself to the status quo. I cannot stop you but I pray that you won't, for the sake of people like us. There is far more to life than gender.

Habitually cultivate things that make you feel alive and ignore things that make you feel dead. I keep what I call a lifeblood journal, which is similar to a gratitude journal but for people who are too dramatic for the protocols conferred by a typical self help guru. In it you write down anything that pleases or thrills or innervates you. The day is often filled with things like that that you just forget, and when it is not, you can look back on when it was as a reminder that they're out there. I also recommend the book Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz and the youtube channel Crappy Childhood Fairy if you are not already familiar with those.