This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The writing is highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent, detailing a specific journey of social transition, regret, and changing views. The user identifies as a desister who did not medically transition, which is a recognized experience. The passion and criticism align with the expected perspective of someone who feels harmed by their experience.
About me
I started identifying as trans when I was 14 with my mum's full support. My feelings were tangled with trauma and a deep insecurity about my female body during puberty. Once I transitioned, my anxiety got worse, and I felt pressured by my social circle to adopt certain beliefs. I've since detransitioned, lost most of my friends, and realized my gender confusion was a symptom of other issues. Now, I'm learning to let go of labels and just focus on my own peace.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was 14. I came out as trans and my mum was incredibly supportive. She helped me get my name changed and everything, which I do love her for, but looking back, I wish she had told me to just wait a little longer. I was so young.
A lot of my feelings were tangled up with a lot of other problems. I had a really rough time as a kid. I was abused and groomed by men, which I think played a huge part in everything that came after. I was also just incredibly insecure. Puberty was horrible; I hated my acne and all the changes my body was going through. I felt like I couldn't live up to the beauty standards for girls. I saw that a lot of guys had acne and it was more normal for them, so latching onto a male identity felt like a way to escape feeling so imperfect.
Once I started identifying as trans, my dysphoria actually got worse, not better. I was constantly worried about how I looked and if something about me would ‘out’ me as being female. It was like I had created a whole new set of things to be anxious about.
My social circle was almost entirely other LGBT kids, and being trans or gay was their entire personality. It was all they ever talked about. I got swept up in that and just adopted the same beliefs they had, like being completely for medical transition for teenagers. It felt like the only right thing to think. Now, I see how dangerous that is. It’s a such a delicate time for figuring out who you are, and giving kids hormones is unethical. It makes me so angry that I ever believed it was okay.
When I started to change my mind and detransition, I lost almost all of those friends. It’s like the community is only welcoming if you agree with them completely. The second you have a different viewpoint, especially as a detransitioner, you’re treated like a traitor. They act like you’ve become some sort of conservative, religious extremist, which isn't true at all. It’s just a taboo topic they don't want to talk about. For my old friends, our only common ground was being trans, so when I wasn't that anymore, the friendship ended.
It’s been hard because everyone knew me as trans. My family, my mum's friends, my doctors... everyone. It feels impossible to open up about this because the identity is so known. Even the friends I made during my transition, who only knew me by my trans name, still seem to see me as that male person. It’s a lonely feeling.
I don’t regret my transition because it led me to where I am now and I learned a lot, but I do regret not waiting and not understanding my own mind better. My feelings were so mixed up with trauma, low self-esteem, and the discomfort of puberty. I think I was trying to escape being me. I’ve had to develop a real "I don't give a damn" attitude about what people think now. I’m just trying to protect my own peace.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s not this solid, unchanging thing we’re told it is. For me, it was a symptom of other problems, not the root cause. Letting go of that identity was like a weight lifted. My mentality is completely different now.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Came out as transgender and socially transitioned. |
| 14 | Legally changed my name with my mother's support. |
| Now (Age not specified) | Realised my identity was linked to trauma and stopped identifying as trans. |
| Now (Age not specified) | Detransitioned socially and lost most of my LGBT friend group. |
Top Comments by /u/MotherPiece8120:
That's the sad part. The community is supposed to be welcoming of everybody- except, for them, de-trans people.. or anyone else who shares a different viewpoint to them isn't welcome.
I had multiple LGBT friends and all they could talk about was their transness or being gay- it becomes a personality in a lot of cases. But, I'm glad some people stuck with you!
That's it, I think the community make it such a personality thing that when you no longer share it, you sort of lose the only thing you have in common with them.. But it's crazy how much your mentality changes after losing the trans identity.
Might be controversial but I use to be pro trans healthcare for teens because it was how the community told you that you should think, and now I'm completely against hormonal treatments for teens.
But I hope you'll find / have a good few friends that accept you ❤️
Amen! Protect your peace. Honestly, it's such a strange thing- sometimes its like they're trying to recruit people to be trans lol A lot of people (some of my ex-friends included) think it's some sort of joke or you're doing it against your will as if people can't change their mind.
But I definitely relate with the friends still viewing you as a man. I knew most of my friends during my transition so they've only known me as my 'trans name' and it does feel like they still see me as who I was. So you're not alone! But I hope you find some good friends who accept you ❤️
Honestly I think (maybe) the reason why is because 'de-trans-ing' is seen as a sort of.. taboo topic? It's not discussed and people usually associate it with despising trans people or becoming crazily religious or some traits that are seen as undesirable in the current 'Pro-LGBT' climate- like changing political views and becoming more conservative.
But I hope you find some accepting friends! ❤️
Honestly I feel like a tad bit of a dafty for coming out at 14, and as much as I love my mother for accepting me and helping me get my name changed and everything, I wish she would've told me to just.. wait a little longer.
Honestly my gender identity made my 'dysphoria' worse. I was always worried about how I looked or that something was showing that would show off I was trans. But I went through a lot as a kid (abuse / being groomed by men- so your last warning does hold some weight lol). I was just so insecure as a kid because of acne and obviously everything that happens during that time, and all the sort of 'beauty standards,' that I think I only felt good about my transition because a lot of my 'imperfections' I didn't need to worry about- most guys had acne whilst I didn't see many girls who did.
All I'm afraid about is opening up to everyone. I mean, quite literally everyone knows lol. My family, my mums friends, my friends, my doctors.. it's very difficult.
I'm so glad you found people and that your boundaries are being respected!
But definitely- thinking and talking about it a lot is bound to affect you.
And that's so dang frustrating! Honestly ive just picked up a 'idgaf' attitude about peoples opinions lol- but i get why you stay quiet. I don't know why so many people are for medical intervention for teens or children because it's such a delicate time where identity is concerned- but 100% unethical, agree with you there.