In a lot of places (specifically Canada) they’ve moved to an informed consent model. You walk in, ask for hormones, they give you a waiver, and you’re off to the races. I do think i was technically “informed” of the expected results, but there was little to no mental health support. Trans people have a lot of comorbid mental health issues and yet are expected to handle these life altering drugs without help. Because HRT is what saves people, and is the ONLY thing that helps /s. 

Two thumbs down, this system harms everyone including people who genuinely benefit from HRT. Throwing potent drugs at people who already have problems without providing holistic care just makes their situations worse. Like great, now they have unresolved mental health issues AND they’re a visual minority without a support system. Surely this approach won’t cause issues for anyone 🙄

Yeaaaaah this is an attitude I keep noticing, tho usually it’s more subtle. They keep pushing this idea that a trans kid’s suffering by going through natural puberty is INFINITELY worse than a detrans person wrongfully going through a second puberty and having to live with it after. 

The truth is BOTH instances result in the same thing: a person who has a body that they don’t identify with. The only difference is group membership. 

I think in some circles cis is regarded as a bit of a moral failing. I don’t think anyone is coming out and saying that kinda thing out loud, but the gist I observe is that trans = enlightenment from gender and cis = blind follower (or inherently bigoted). There’s a perception that cis people simply don’t understand gender nuance the way a trans person does. I think this notion comes from the “cis people don’t question their gender” nonsense. As a caveat, this isn’t something everyone believes or perpetuates, but it’s something I’ve picked up on in certain spaces. 

Also if the person is detrans, cis can be a weird term to be foisted back into. Personally I don’t consider myself cis or trans because I don’t identify as either. My body is simply too far changed from my assigned gender at birth — I no longer feel Iike cis is an accurate description of my body and gender identity. My gender doesn’t match my body anymore. I just call myself detrans because it’s the most accurate to my journey. 

I was bracing myself for this to be a politically motivated attack article, but I was very pleasantly surprised at the impartial rationality of this piece. This is a great addition to our understanding of what it means to be detrans. 

I particularly liked this quote:

“When a wide and expansive net is cast around “trans” such that the term has virtually no boundaries, being even inclusive of non-transitioning, gender nonconforming people (and even relatively gender conforming folks, too), why is the bar set for defining detransition so extremely high?”

If you read the trans posts discussing this sub, people almost all report feeling “scared” or “freaked out” after reading here. They also tend to refer to it as digital self harm because of those strong emotions it invokes. 

I do think it’s disingenuous to say this sub can’t at times be transphobic. The mods are pretty good at removing it, but it pops up sometimes. Of course that kind of thing is upsetting for a trans person to read. 

But more than that, I think the condor people have here discussing their detransition can feel like whiplash to the trans community — where no one discusses the harms, dangers, or perils of transition. It’s a sudden exposure to all of the things they intentionally blind themselves to, which is scary. 

I really understand how you feel. If you are at all able, go to grief counselling. It’s a huge thing to come to terms with and takes a long time to heal from. 

Ps, I find foam push up bra inserts (cheap online in like a 5 pack) are easily stitched into sports bras and bralettes with a space for foam lining. They don’t move around, aren’t sticky like silicone, and help you wear clothes with at least an A cup. 

I think it’s a community bias online. Detrans women have a lot of physical barriers to passing as female again and also have to return to a world of misogyny. Many of us have deep voices,  beards, and flat chests. There is a lot to grieve, process, and talk about. We make ourselves visible because it’s a huge issue for our lives. 

Meanwhile, the detrans men I personally know largely just went back to being a dude. Gynomastia is an issue but a relatively “normal” thing. They can pass easily (and one I know never actually came out despite being on HRT for as long as me).  It’s a very different process, so it makes sense detransitioning ftmtf results in more online chatter. 

I remember specifically saying to myself “I could spend the rest of my life as a woman and be dissatisfied or I could transition and try to see if it’s better as a man”. 

TLDR; it wasn’t better as a man. Humans aren’t things you can upgrade and workshop and build to be cooler. I was still me, with all the same problems and feelings. My body changed and I stopped recognizing myself in the mirror. People treated me differently, and whether it was because they saw me as a man or as trans, I couldn’t tell. I started working hard to be something I never was so that people would like the new me. I completely lost touch with who I was before transition. I started to develop dysphoria around my masculinized body. My chest was numb from surgery and I realized I missed the comfort of hugging myself in my old body. I realized I was never getting that back. I developed a fear around injecting my thigh every single week with a hormone my body didn’t actually need to function. I had hit every milestone I set for transition, I had achieved my goals, I passed well and I had a lot of friends who liked the new me. 4 years had passed, and I had invested so much of my energy into creating an illusion of who I wanted to be, but not who I really was. 

There was never anything wrong with me when I first started my transition. There was no emergency, even though it felt like there was. I had mental health issues and low self esteem and a poor relationship with my body, but none of that required me to change myself. I didn’t need to be fixed. I needed to extend myself sympathy and love and give myself time to grow into the person I was becoming. 

Wishing you the best OP. Sometimes people need to go down a road to see if it’s right for them. Sometimes transition really is the answer for people, but not for everyone. Just keep your head on your shoulders and don’t go further than you’re comfortable with. 

Would highly recommend asking a gynaecologist or family doctor about topical estrogen and steroid cream. They suck to apply and I hated them but after 9 months of using them I’ve finally found some relief. 

I had incredibly uncomfortable genitals after using T. The friction like you describe, the growth, the irritation, the dryness, the pain, the avoidance of tight pants or underwear, I get it. It fucking sucks. But the treatment isn’t to remove your clit. 

Topical estrogen helps to restore the tissue. Vulvas and vaginas have estrogen receptors in the skin. Using T reduces the number of those receptors (there’s a study on this but I can’t find it rn). It seems unclear how long it takes or if the receptors return at all, but this is an Incredibly common issue for detrans women. Without estrogen, the skin atrophies and thins, which makes it prone to irritation. Applying supplementary hormones to the skin helps reverse (or at least soothe) the atrophy. 

Topical steroid creams can help reduce the inflammation and pain. Overusing them can make the skin more sensitive, so it’s important you listen to your body and learn what works for you. 

Using both of these in tandem, applied as needed, has significantly helped me reduce my pain and irritation. You need to get them from a doctor. They’re pricey for a cream (each was 60CAD) but they last a long time. Try that first before thinking you’re going to cut your genitals clean off. 

I really agree with this. That was the case for me at least. Medical transition is inherently traumatic imo, because creates a sudden, DRASTIC change in your self perception, social interaction, access to housing and safety and work, and brain chemistry. I went from knowing my face intimately to not even recognizing myself in the mirror, within mere months. We give zero psychological help to these people and just pump them with hormones that change their entire lives, and for what? 

I agree we are seeing an erosion of gender non conformity as a result. People are desperate to call me non binary because they are just bewildered at how a woman like me could possibly exist without being trans. We’ve lost that part of our society, there’s zero representation for it, and it’s all been replaced with trans representation.

Arguably, the push to medicalize everyone that doesn’t fit archaic gender roles is regressive. To be clear I am pro trans rights, and some of my close friends have benefited from medicalization. But the free for all access we give to anyone who wants it, without endorsing other, less severe options?  It’s not helping anyone, and hurting the people who don’t buy into it.