This story is from the comments by /u/Nazianzun that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "Nazianzun" appears authentic and not a bot. The user demonstrates a deep, personal, and consistent engagement with the complexities of gender dysphoria, detransition, and desistance. The comments reflect a long-term, nuanced internal struggle, detailed self-reflection, and a well-established philosophical and theological framework—all indicative of a real person's lived experience.
There are no serious red flags suggesting inauthenticity. The user identifies as a desister (someone who considered but did not medically transition) with lifelong gender dysphoria, which aligns with the community's purpose. The passion and criticism towards transition and trans ideology are consistent with the perspectives of many detransitioners and desisters who feel harmed by these practices.
About me
I’m a man who has felt I should have been female since I was a child, praying at night to wake up as a girl. After decades of research and therapy, I realized that medical transition could never give me the female body I truly desired and would only lead to more distress. I decided against it, especially since a past cancer treatment requires me to be on testosterone for life. I now cope by accepting my reality, expressing my femininity in private, and presenting as male in public. While I still struggle, I’ve found peace by managing my dysphoria without medical intervention.
My detransition story
My journey with gender dysphoria began as early as I can remember. As a child, I often prayed at night to wake up as a girl. When puberty hit, things got much worse. My mental state declined sharply, and I was overwhelmed with shame, guilt, and embarrassment. I felt fundamentally broken, like my mind had betrayed me. I was diagnosed with Asperger's later in life, which added another layer to my struggles.
I spent decades trying to understand why I felt this way. I read extensively in psychology, philosophy, and theology, and even looked into biology and sexology. I considered every possibility—environmental factors, birth conditions, genetic abnormalities, trauma, internalized homophobia, or a fetish like autogynephilia. I saw multiple therapists and counselors, most of whom suggested I should transition. But after all that searching, I never found a definitive answer. I just had to accept that my brain expects a female body, and that's how it is.
I decided not to transition. The main reason is that transitioning wouldn't give me what I truly want: to have been born female. I realized that no amount of surgery or hormones would change my biological reality. I could socially transition, but at the end of the day, I would still be me. I feared that medically transitioning would lead me down a path of endless surgeries, chasing an ideal I could never achieve. I also had health complications from cancer as a teenager that resulted in an orchiectomy and require me to be on testosterone injections for life, which felt like a cruel joke given my dysphoria.
To cope, I've had to make peace with who I am. I acknowledged my dysphoria to myself and worked to overcome the negative emotions like shame and guilt. I started focusing on positive aspects of myself and began taking better care of my health through diet and exercise. I allow myself to express femininity in private—I wear women's clothing, shave or remove body hair, and decorate my space with a feminine aesthetic. In public, I present as a stoic, masculine man, which I've learned to accept. I also avoid porn because it sexualizes my dysphoria and puts me in a destructive headspace.
I have regrets, but not about transitioning—since I didn't. I regret not having the courage to be open about my feelings when I was younger. I kept it a secret from my family, fearing their reaction, especially my dad's. I think being open might have helped me cope better earlier on.
My thoughts on gender are that it's fundamentally tied to biological sex. I believe "man" and "woman" are biological categories, and while gender expression can be fluid, sex is not. I think the concept of "non-binary" is confusing and often stems from a misunderstanding of the difference between expression and identity. I see dysphoria as a psychological condition, an identity disorder, rather than a physical one. Transitioning can be the right choice for a small minority of people, but for most, it's not a solution and can even be harmful.
I don't think transition is rational because it doesn't address the root of the issue—the mind. Instead, it alters the body to conform to a mental ideal, which is often based on fantasies or stereotypes. I worry that the current push to transition is similar to historical medical fads like lobotomies, and that many people are being misled.
Overall, I've learned to live with my dysphoria by accepting reality and finding ways to manage my feelings without medical intervention. It's not easy, and I still struggle, but I believe I made the right choice for myself.
Timeline of Events
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early childhood | First memories of wanting to be a girl; prayed to wake up as a girl |
| Puberty | Mental state worsened; intense shame, guilt, and embarrassment set in |
| Teen years | Diagnosed with cancer; had orchiectomy as part of treatment |
| Late 20s | Diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome |
| Ongoing | Regular testosterone injections due to medical necessity |
| Ongoing | Decision not to pursue social or medical transition |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Nazianzun:
Right, it doesn't. All any study on brain structure will show is that brain structure is diverse (against the claims of those who impose the very 'binary' they ridicule). The jump from structural diversity to the notion of brains of one sex being in bodies of another will never be justified or warranted.
Do you mean the far Right, rather than just the Right? I'm not on the Left myself, and I know a good few people who would describe themselves on the Right (both in the US and internationally), but who have no issues with me, LGBT people, etc.
In other words, I'm not convinced that broad strokes are a good idea. My experience is just my experience, but it goes to show that real life is more nuanced than, say, media reporting. (And yes, those Yahoo! comments are despicable.)
I'm not one to curse, but it's as fucked up as anything. Dire situations require strong language. This is not a thing a middle schooler should be thinking about. People are barely self-aware at 20, let alone 13.
It's one of those circumstances where explanations and discussions are better than secrets, but sometimes it's necessary for the adult to say no, and to be allowed to say no because it's in the best interest of the child. It's nearly impossible to do that these days lest you be labelled hateful, bigoted, transphobic, and possibly ill-suited to be a parent.
I live with dysphoria, and I have a child myself, and I dread the thought of what they're going to be taught. It's an unbelievable situation.
We're all stuck in our own boxes: male, female. You'd be trading the box you have now for a new one: considered a transman by some, a woman pretending to be a man by others, mentally ill, and so on. You won't ever be a man, though, and you'll never get away from the reality that you were born female. That's just the outside perspective, nevermind the criticism you'd bring down on yourself.
In a certain egg-related subreddit there's a popular meme that becoming female means being a cute petite pretty lacy anime cat girl lesbian. Does that sound like being female to you? What about notions about being male from those who aren't sure if they're FtM? Be careful what ideas you surround yourself with.
Medically transitioning hasn't been an option for almost all of human history, so I suppose one question to ask would be: how did we historically manage?
As for me, I retreated into my head: lots of therapy, study, prayer, and letting me be me even if it means being 'gender non conforming'. I figure I'll just wait it out and it will resolve itself, or I'll lose my mind, or worst case scenario we only live for so long and one day my life will end too (I'm not suicidal).
Passing as a 5'1 man? No. Even if you could (you can't), this isn't exactly a sub that's going to recommend transitioning.
You'd make a much more appealing woman given that you're a woman. You mentioned before that you didn't want to be trans, and transitioning is not the answer.
I declined SRS so I can't give you an after-the-fact, but I would add to the other warnings that you'll be severely limiting your romantic/familial potential in the future (specifically when you get older) as - to put it bluntly - men want women with whom they can form families, and while you may find someone who is good with who you are are post-OP, the chances of that are quite small -- are you willing to risk it? You know, assuming you'd enter into a 'straight' relationship.
I also require regular T injections due to previous health issues, and let me tell you: you do not want to be on HRT if you can avoid it, especially if something goes wrong and your dose is interrupted (I understand that you'd likely be on E). You will (eventually) regret having to rely on such an important medication as a result of a choice you didn't have to make, not to mention that your body isn't built to run on E.
Men don't lack intimacy during sex (I know, I'm married). That's an issue with your thinking, and it won't be solved through surgery.
If someone talks about transition as if they're actually becoming the opposite sex, or gets offended at suggestions otherwise and demands you take part in their delusion (which is the thing to do these days), then 'reasonable' or 'rational' aren't words that ought to be used to describe them.
But, to your question:
What makes a transsexual/dysphoric person in transition "rational", "reasonable" or maybe even "healthy"? Is there even truly such a thing?
I'm not convinced there is, although I don't know that irrational is the next word to use.
Putting intersex people to the side (who are a different circumstance), my dysphoria is entirely in my head. It's a mental state, or a disorder (as it was when I was younger), or a psychological condition. I don't know where it comes from, or what it is, or why I'm one of the lucky people to experience it, but it's there.
Why then is the supposedly best option the mutilation of my body, and not to address my mind (as in fact I've spent decades doing, sadly mostly on my own)?
If someone were to transition 'rationally' I think they'd have to start by acknowledging that the desire to transition is driven by a feeling of dysphoria that is itself nonrational -- maybe? I'm not quite sure that it's irrational, but it's certainly not rational either, because how does a brain come to realise that it's in the wrong body without having ever experienced another body? I don't see how it could.
And if you start from there, how could you describe as 'rational' anything that follows? It's nonrational at best, and if we're talking in terms of multilation, then very possibly irrational.
But I suppose that such a person might claim that they're making a rational decision in light of the nonrational dysphoria, and fair enough. Do they acknowledge that they're mutilating their body, and making choices that are ultimately detrimental despite some perceived short term benefit? Then maybe they're being reasonable and rational, but I don't see how such a person could be anything but a mess of anxiety and despair at their situation, and in light of that, are they truly being rational? Probably not.
Sometimes you need to make the wrong decision to realise the right one.
Hindsight is 20/20, but even if you had stayed with that therapist it would have been as the person you were then, not the person you are now. You were likely never going to listen to her.
Misled is putting it nicely. This person has fundamentally misunderstood the realities of human relationships and sexuality.
May they continue to pity those other, 'limited' people with their antiquated views of sexuality, and bask in their glorious enlightenment - forever, alone.