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Reddit user /u/Neksa's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 25
male
took hormones
puberty discomfort
had religious background
become non-religious
This story is from the comments by /u/Neksa that are listed below, summarised with AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user's perspective is complex and evolves over time, which is consistent with a genuine person. They initially present as a desister/detransitioner offering support but later comments (from 2022 onward) reveal they are a trans woman who is critical of both the trans and detrans communities. This shift is not a red flag; it demonstrates a personal journey and a nuanced, non-binary viewpoint on the debate, which is a sign of a real person engaging authentically with a difficult topic. Their passion and criticism of both "sides" align with the warning that individuals affected by this issue can be very passionate.

About me

I was born male and always felt like I was forcing myself to be a man, which left me feeling empty inside. I started hormones at 25 and for the first time, my past feelings finally made sense. Now, I live as a woman but face a lot of harassment and awkwardness in public, and I hate the new pressure to be feminine when I'm just a tomboy. My religious background made it confusing, but I believe a loving God would want me to be myself. I don't regret my journey, but I wish society would stop pressuring everyone with such strict gender roles so we could all just be who we are.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender has been complicated, and I’m still figuring it out. I was born male, and from a young age, I always felt like I had to try really hard to be a boy and then a man. When I got best at being manly and masculine, I just felt dead and empty inside. It never felt natural to me.

I remember when I was 14, I even prayed to God to have the body of the opposite sex. I think a lot of my feelings were tied up in just not fitting into the strict boxes everyone expected me to be in. I hated the expectations that came with being a man. I started to explore my gender online and eventually decided to try hormones for three months to see if it was right for me. And honestly, when I did, a lot of things from my past started to make sense. I began to feel more like myself, even though it brought a whole new set of problems.

Socially, transitioning was really hard. I don't think I pass very well, and it causes a lot of awkward situations. I get harassed just for existing sometimes, mostly from people who get upset or confused by me. Using public restrooms is a nightmare; I get stared at and double-taked whether I use the men's or the women's. People act weird around me once they find out I'm trans, and there are suddenly all these new expectations to act more feminine, which is frustrating because I’m still a bit of a tomboy. I just want to wear a hoodie and jeans in peace.

My religious background made it all more confusing. I grew up Mormon, and while I’ve stepped away from that, I’ve done a lot of thinking about God. I’ve come to believe that if God is real, he made me this way as a challenge to learn to love myself. I don’t believe a loving God would want me to live in fear or be forced into a box by other people’s pride. The idea that people use religion to scare others into conforming feels like the exact opposite of what faith should be.

I don’t regret trying hormones or exploring my identity. Even with all the negative social stuff, I still feel better about myself now than I did when I was forcing myself to be masculine. But I also see a lot of problems in the community. I’ve seen people, especially teens, get peer-pressured into transitioning instead of being given the space to just figure out who they are. That hurts everyone. And I think the biggest problem for both trans and detrans people is that society enforces gender roles and stereotypes way too much. If people could just dress and present how they want without it being a big deal, a lot of this pressure would disappear.

I don't have all the answers. I just wish people were more understanding and open-minded, whether someone is transitioning or detransitioning. We all just need the freedom to figure ourselves out without fear.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
14 Prayed to have the body of the opposite sex.
Early 20s Felt dead inside from trying to be masculine. Started exploring gender identity online.
25 Tried hormone therapy (HRT) for 3 months. Felt things start to make sense and decided to continue.
25-Present Living as a transgender woman, dealing with social challenges and navigating a tomboyish presentation.

Top Reddit Comments by /u/Neksa:

15 comments • Posting since September 29, 2020
Reddit user Neksa (questioning own gender transition) comments on the rise of peer pressure for teens to transition, arguing it hurts everyone and goes against what the trans community actually wants.
23 pointsJul 30, 2022
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Ive seen lots of people peer pressuring teens to transition instead of just trying to let them figure out who they are. It’s sad because that’s the opposite of what actual trans people want for the community. It just hurts everyone, especially the person who was peer pressured into transition.

Reddit user Neksa (questioning own gender transition) explains that many straight, bi, and gay men are attracted to masculine women, assuring a detransitioner that "there's someone for everyone."
20 pointsJul 31, 2022
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I know plenty of straight, bi, and guys who are usually gay who have said multiple reasons to want to be with a masculine woman. I mean you already are with one of them. They’re out there, and if people still don’t realize “there’s someone for everyone “ they need to get outside more.

Reddit user Neksa (questioning own gender transition) explains how enforcing gender stereotypes creates pressure on trans and detrans people, making self-discovery and detransitioning harder.
11 pointsNov 4, 2020
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I like seeing gender non-conforming people actually talk in this subreddit and I hope to see more. The more people are okay with not enforcing gender roles and stereotypes the less pressure on trans and detrans people will exist. It's really the whole problem here. I see so many posts here about people hating theirself when I think they're just fine being who they are and figuring it out as they go. If you gotta try to transition to figure out you're not trans people should be okay with that. Part of what makes detransistioning so hard is this stupid concept of enforcing gender stereotypes.

Reddit user Neksa (Questioning own transgender status) comments on the echo chamber effect, stating they were previously kicked for dissenting from the sub's views.
10 pointsMar 2, 2024
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If i comment “trans person here and im not this way” this community will (and has) kicked me for not actually being questioning. So asking that here is a bit of an echo chamber where you only get to see people who agree with you. Hope you see this before i get kicked again.

Reddit user Neksa (questioning own gender transition) discusses the complex trade-offs of transitioning earlier in life, wishing for a more nuanced societal approach to trans issues.
8 pointsApr 16, 2022
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For me, if i had actually learned when i was 14 (Which is when i prayed to god to have the opposite parts) i would have had a very lonely childhood/adolescence probably, but felt much more fulfilled in adulthood since i would have started HRT during puberty. I would not have to deal with saving up for FFS and the stress of people acting weird around me and not knowing what i am. It’s hard for me to fully say i would have had a better life though because going through adolescence as a cis boy i also learned tons of social dynamics that i probably would have missed as a trans youth. However that would have mainly been driven by people being way way less accepting of trans people 15 years ago than they are nowadays. I just wish people would listen and be introspective and open minded instead of being heavily pro trans or anti trans. We can not make healthy progression in trans medical care if socially we are heavily pushing trans mentalities on kids nor can we if we are heavily pushing against it.

Reddit user Neksa (questioning own gender transition) comments on the importance of acceptance for both transitioning and detransitioning individuals, wishing for a world where everyone can freely present how they want without judgment.
8 pointsSep 29, 2020
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I just wish people would be understanding of however someone feels regardless if we were transitioning or detransitioning. It would make everything much less of a hassle if people just didnt care and if everyone was just freely able to dress how they want and present how they want. I'm sorry you have to feel stressed about how your family will take it. I hope that whatever you decide they will be understanding.

Reddit user Neksa (Questioning own transgender status) comments on the political diversity within the trans community, noting that many of their conservative trans friends dislike the "loud" activists described by OP.
5 pointsMar 2, 2024
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That’s my point. Asking this question is only going to get you one answer in this community. What is the point of asking it? If you know you’re only going to get people who agree with you. Its not a genuine question at this point, its “look how they are, i only want to see them this way and i will ignore any people who dont fit this model ive built in my head.” I have many trans friends and i would say about 40% of them are conservative and 75% of my trans friends really dont like the loud part of the trans community who is what op describes. Thats my personal experience and im trying to share that there’s probably a lot of trans people who exist who dont get political in the way op describes. But as soon as anyone tries to say that here it will likely get them banned.

Reddit user Neksa explains their spiritual view that if God is real, being trans is a challenge to love oneself, and criticizes religious fear-mongering and control as a corruption of true faith.
5 pointsAug 15, 2022
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Here’s my experience with my meditations with god: God (if real and not just in my head) made me trans as a challenge to love myself for who i am, in the face of hateful people. Growing up in church (mormon) i was taught that if any religion tries to use fear to control you, that religion has been tricked by satan because only satan would try to scare you or force you by fear into following whatever that religion is telling you to do. As it turned out ironically I eventually started to see that even the mormon church does that since they were basically teaching “look out satan will do this” and then their church does that but then writes off gaslighty excuses to weasel their way out of gullible peoples minds. They also taught that even if you go against god’s will he will still love you (you just won’t get into heaven or whatever the hell all their different levels of heaven are, I honestly don’t remember and im glad i don’t) but i still carry that belief that if god really is real, he will love you and accept you for who you are and would encourage you to do what truly feels right and would be very forgiving in your time you take to figure that out no matter how many times you get it wrong. Maybe you’re NB, maybe you’re trans, maybe you’re cis. If god is real then I’ve learned that’s you struggling to figure it all out is part of his plan. If you are living in fear of being religiously attacked by others i feel confident in saying that satan has tainted their minds with the sin of pride. They are being prideful in the sense that “i know im right and i have to aggressively force my right beliefs onto you! You can’t be trans! You can’t take the time to figure yourself out! That’s not allowed because of MY belief that god made you have (genitals a or b) because god wants you to be (gender a or b) and you will go to hell if you do otherwise and im making it my job to enforce you to not go to hell” even though i know lots of religions try to teach free agency which is basically the opposite of this. free agency is the concept to let people go through their own challenges without interfering or otherwise forcefully “saving them from hell” when it literally has no effect on other people. You transitioning or detransitioning or whatever has no effect on other’s ability to go to heaven, so as soon as they start to try to control that free agency decision of yours they’ve already fallen into satans trap of pride. Pride… ironic…

Reddit user Neksa (questioning own gender transition) explains how critics are calling out Blaire White for cherry-picking information and lying to dehumanize gender non-conforming people.
5 pointsNov 8, 2020
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Theres some recent videos coming out of people (cis, trans, and otherwise) criticizing Blaire for cherry picking information and even flat out lying about things to paint this picture dehumanizing gender non conforming people. Her agenda is basically "if you're not pretty or handsome I will drag you" and more people need to come out calling her on her bullshit.

Reddit user Neksa (questioning own gender transition) comments that while a lost childhood cannot be regained, detrans women can have incredible physical and social transformations to reclaim a normal female life.
4 pointsNov 2, 2020
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I beleive you can get back to having a normal female life, nothing can ever change the childhood you missed out on, so the best thing to do is to look forward and hope for the best. If trans women can have incredible transformations, detrans women can too.