This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, this account appears authentic. The user's posts are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and show a consistent, evolving internal narrative over several years. The themes of body dysmorphia, discomfort with gendered expectations, and a philosophical struggle with human limitations are deeply explored and interconnected.
There are no serious red flags suggesting this is a bot or an inauthentic account. The writing style is consistent and reflective of a genuine person grappling with complex, long-term issues. The passion and anger present are consistent with the experiences of detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I started as a tomboy who hated puberty and the female body I developed, feeling disgusted and even suicidal. I later realized my problem wasn't being female, but with being a limited human in a flawed body and escaping misogynistic expectations. I'm almost 30 now and have fully accepted my womanhood; I no longer hate my body or question my identity. I am grateful I never medically transitioned, as it wouldn't have solved my core issues with existence and self-image. I understand now that you can't change your biology, and my journey was about learning to live with my whole self.
My detransition story
My whole journey started with puberty, which I hated. It felt like my body was betraying me. I developed breasts and curves, and I thought it all looked disgusting and weird. I felt fat and awkward. I hated wearing bras so much that I’d wear a vest over my t-shirt just to avoid it. I was a tomboy, and my parents weren't happy about it. I didn't want a period, I never wanted children, and I was filled with depression, anxiety, and anger. I even contemplated suicide. At the time, being trans wasn't really a thing people talked about, but I remember vividly wanting to cut my breasts off.
For a long time, I thought my problem was with being a woman. I hated the societal expectations—the shaving, the bras, the maintenance of long hair, all the garbage that comes with a menstrual cycle. I felt like my value as a woman was tied to my productivity, and because I have a severe disability that makes it hard for me to do things, I felt like a leech and a waste. I rejected a lot of the expected behavior and dress.
I started to question my perception of my own body. I always thought I was big, bulky, and stocky with broad shoulders. I was happy I wasn't taller because I felt I would look beastly. It wasn't until my partner called me petite and genuinely saw me that way that I began to seriously question my own self-image. Was I really not a big woman? I didn't know.
Over time, I came to a major realization. My problem wasn't with being female; it was with being human. Male or female, I would be unhappy. My greatest disappointment is being a weak, fragile, flawed meat creature with disabilities, limitations, and a finite lifespan. I think a lot of people are trying to escape their humanity but get fixated on the tree of sex and gender instead of the whole forest. For me, it was about escapism from all the things I couldn't change about my existence.
I also recognized that a huge part of my discomfort was rooted in internalized misogyny. Recognizing the innate and unfair misogyny in our lives is much harder than trying to escape it by identifying as male. When puberty hit, I became an unwilling sexual object. I was taught to be disgusted by my body naturally—people made fun of women's bodies, calling them "fishy" or "roast beef." I had hobbies that weren't perceived as feminine, and I dressed in men's clothes because women's clothing was often revealing, thin, and itchy. Pretending to be a male would have allowed me to escape all that, in theory, but it wouldn't have been right.
I’m almost 30 now, and I’m a completely different person. I accept my womanhood and don't question it at all. I don't feel the need to prove anything. I don't hate my body anymore. It's scarred and saggy in places from weight gain and loss, and that's just normal. I understand it now. I wear some unisex clothing and live my life. I think by the time I was 25, I had finally stopped freaking out. My brain felt complete, and I had gained some real wisdom.
I never medically transitioned. I'm glad I didn't, because I now see that it wouldn't have solved my core problems. I've had necessary surgeries for health issues, and I know firsthand that surgery is not clean or easy; it causes nerve damage and unexpected complications. The idea of voluntarily amputating a healthy body part seems like a terrible idea to me, especially since it can cause severe nerve damage and reduce sensation. It can also be a deal-breaker in future relationships.
I don't have regrets about transitioning because I never went through with it, but I do have regrets about how much I suffered and how long it took me to understand myself. I regret the years I spent hating my body for the wrong reasons. My thoughts on gender are that it's a social thing, but you can't change your biology. I was born a female, and that's that, the same way I'm a brunette even though I wish I wasn't. There are a lot of things about life and my body that don't make me happy, but cutting it up won't fix the fundamental issues. You just have to get through it.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Pre-puberty | Was a tomboy. Hated expected feminine roles and behavior. |
| Onset of Puberty (~12-13) | Hated developing breasts and curves. Felt disgusting, fat, and awkward. Hated wearing bras. Contemplated suicide. Filled with depression and anxiety. |
| Throughout Teen Years | Rejected feminine dress and expectations. Wore men's clothing. Hated period. Never wanted children. |
| ~25 | Felt a significant mental shift and gained wisdom. Stopped freaking out about my body and identity. |
| Late 20s (~29) | Fully accepted my womanhood. No longer hate my body. Understand that my problem was with being human, not female. |
| Present Day (~30) | Comfortable in my identity as a woman who rejects harmful societal expectations. |
Top Comments by /u/Net_Negative:
no matter how much effort I put into passing, there are just some things about me which always make me stand out in a crowd of males and give rise to suspicion.
This is true of anyone who is trans. Even someone who is said to be "perfectly passing" like Blaire White.
I think you will regret it, because I felt the same way during puberty. Puberty is awful for almost everyone. I've met the rare male person that doesn't remember it being horrible, but it sucks. Your body changes in a way you don't want it to, and didn't ask it to. It smells, it gets hairy, it has shape that it didn't used to.
You get past it. You get used to it, as with everything in life. I believe you will regret interfering.
At your age I was someone that I would consider to be very mentally unstable compared to who I am now. I would never allow myself to make permanent decisions at 15, looking back as someone who is twice that age now. In fact, I would say that 25 was the age where I was probably mentally "complete" and had wisdom in things.
25 is also coincidentally the age where a lot of people's brains stop growing, particularly males. Females mature a bit earlier (like 23).
By realizing that not one single person is American left or American right perfectly. People are shades of gray and so are politics. The teaming of people into one party with a specific set of required beliefs is ruining politics. You can also describe yourself as something like "left leaning," or "left leaning centrist."
I realized that my problem was with being human and not with being a female. Male or female I would be unhappy, because my greatest disappointment is being a weak flesh and meat creature with flaws and unfixable issues, disabilities, and limitations.
My theory is that a lot of people are attempting to escape their humanity but for some reason not seeing the forest and focusing on the tree that is sex/gender.
Trans discord server? I guarantee a person trips over 15 things that they will ban you for in any conversation.
I am wary of Discord servers in general because they are so outrageously over moderated, and even the admins will sneak into Discord servers to ban them and members if they don't like what's in them, with no notice and no transparency.
When I hit pre-puberty and puberty, being trans was not a thing, yet I still wanted to cut my tits off. I thought they were disgusting and weird looking and positioned strangely on my chest and too small. I hated everything about my new body shape. I thought I was fat. I wanted to go back to being a child. I didn't want curves or prominent nipples. I hated wearing bras so much that I would wear a vest over a t-shirt to avoid it (I still hate wearing bras). I contemplated suicide and was filled with depression, anxiety, and anger. I was a tomboy and my parents hated it (I still am). I never wanted or liked children (still don't). I didn't want a period (still don't).
Puberty is ass and it's normal to fucking hate it. I think female people have a harder time with it than male people, because they grow sex-specific traits that get them unpleasant and awful attention from perverts, pedos, and groomers. They also start being perceived as inappropriate and disgusting. Suddenly you have to cover up, wear bras, and shave everything to be socially acceptable and not bullied.
I'm almost 30 now. I'm a completely different person. I accept my womanhood and don't question it at all. I don't feel the need to prove anything. I think at 25 I finally stopped freaking out. If I was a smarter person, maybe it could have happened earlier. I don't hate my body anymore. I'm wiser, by a lot. I wear some unisex clothing. My body is scarred and saggy in places from weight gain and loss and it's normal. I don't hate it, I understand it. Youth is wasted on the young.
I think for me it was important to understand that being a male would not have made me happy. My displeasure with life was and is solely around the fact that I am human, and I am fragile, and weak, and easily damaged, and flawed, and my life is finite. None of these things are fixed by sex-swapping.
You'll be okay later on. You just have to get through it. You're normal.
My mom was the same way. And I was the same way. I still reject a lot of the expected behavior and expected dress and appearance, but understand that I'm a female and that's that, the same way that I'm a brunette even though I wish I wasn't one. The same way I don't particularly like my eye color, or my genetic disabilities. I'm just that, no matter what, and there's no escaping it.
There are a lot of things that make me angry about expectations of me and other women, but we have more freedom these days to be more masculine.
If body transplants were a thing, I would take one only because I have a lot of damage to my body from multiple sources. But they're not a thing, so I have to deal with my imperfect and weakened meat body until I die. Cutting it up in any way will probably make things worse. I've had a lot of consequences that were unexpected from necessary surgeries for health issues. I understand that. It doesn't make me happy, but I understand it.
Our scientific advancement is great, but not at all where it needs to be, especially compared to what people are wanting from it. There are a lot of people that have never had any surgical procedures that have no idea the damage that they can cause to nerves, and the complications. Surgery and medical treatment are not at all a clean, beautiful, easy thing.
Just going to hop in here and say that while ectopic pregnancies are a very rare possibility when you have a tubal ligation, having a bilateral salpingectomy prevents those, reduces your risk of cancer, and spares your ovaries so it doesn't make you dependent on hormones for the rest of your life.
I think most doctors are moving towards bilateral salpingectomy instead of tubal ligation as they are more effective.
True. I'm a woman. I was born a female. I have never liked my expected roles and behavior in life. I hate having to wear bras, all the garbage that comes with a menstrual cycle, shaving all the hair off my legs and face and armpits, and having to maintain longer hair, but there is no changing my biology.
Societal expectations and norms are a different thing and can possibly be changed over time.
I just don't like my humanity. In a fantasy world I can be the breastless and bald alien creature that I seem to want to be, but people will never accept that kind of thing. It's inherently and primitively weird to them, and that's not changeable.
The shit that I got from everyone after shaving my head was immense and I will never do it again because the social consequences are too great.
I think your perception of yourself can be very off.
My whole life I thought I was big, bulky, stocky, with broad shoulders. I was happy that I wasn't taller because I felt that I would look beastly, and I didn't really like my body.
I have a partner now who calls me petite and legitimately sees me as petite. I seriously question my perception of my body now. Am I really not a big woman? Idk.