This is exactly the sort of thing I really wish all younger trans people could read. They can't project far off enough into the future to understand the borderline inevitability of having these sorts of feelings.

I wish you all the best. Sending love.

i'm a hetero male. i had gender dysphoria into my twenties, and was never open about it, but was friendly with a bunch of people in my college's 'queer community' as a freshman, and had to get away from it because almost everyone treated each other like absolute trash. it was insane, the level of emotional abuse that was accepted and never dealt with at all. it was entirely biological women, who started off identifying as lesbians once they arrived at college, but quickly became indoctrinated into the burgeoning modern queer movement and started identifying as trans or queer. this was 2010.

i don't think it's controversial to say that there's a high prevalence of severe mental illness and trauma in the trans community, and with that comes a high likelihood of emotionally abusive and destructive behavior. i'm sure lots of other people on here who have been more engaged and apart of these spaces would have far more concrete examples. i just remember being constantly aghast at the way people treated and talked about each other. there so little compassion, so much genuine cruelty.

no. it's nonsense, it's totally illogical. biological sex is a fact, gender identity is a 'feeling.' it's personality, it's the desire to box oneself into a stereotype, it's 'spirituality,' for the non-religious. it's an easy way to justify more complex, unhealthy feelings that maybe most people aren't capable of being fully aware of or honest about.

i can't take seriously anybody who believes in it.

i've been expecting for a while now that within the next decade we'll see a huge explosion in the number of de-transitioners and people coming out more broadly against transition more broadly, and in particular against rushing into it as a non-adult. i still think this will be the case.

There's no such thing as being "truly" trans, or not. Dysphoria is real, and it's become increasingly common over the last ten years -- research Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria. Much of the writing you will find will most likely be about FTMs, but it's become very common in men recently, too. Lots of guys who are insecure about themselves and cannot conform to normative standards for masculine behavior get basically brainwashed by certain communities on the internet. I would recommend exploring some of these spaces, and also looking into gender critical writing if you would like to get a better picture as to what dysphoria is and how it develops.

Strongly advise him not to jump straight into HRT or making any dramatic changes to his body, btw. Some people definitely seem to try to take things way too fast and end up deeply regretting it -- getting mastectomies, etc, etc.

a lot of the people on this subreddit do not believe that to be 'trans' is a meaningfully real thing -- there is dysphoria, and some people (but not most here) believe in gender identity, but my recommendation to you and others in your situation is to reframe your understanding of the dysphoria.

my sense has been that people with chronic health conditions seem to be more likely than the general population to develop dysphoria -- discomfort with the body can manifest in a lot of complex ways.

historically, the extreme majority of people (me thankfully included) get over their dysphoria by their early/mid twenties, once they've actually had some experience living their adult lives and developing relationships with others, etc, etc.

you need to consider whether or not you would prefer to live with your functional reproductive system, or spend the rest of your life pretending to be something that you are not. also maybe look into how horrendously bad a lot of 'bottom' surgery goes for males. it is nightmarish.

You should definitely be direct with your parents about your decision to transition. It might be a bit uncomfortable, but it's the right thing to do and the right time to do it. Also maybe find some articles about the various problems of puberty blockers, and the fact that they're being virtually outlawed in parts of Europe.

Are you talking about the people who seem dead-set on transitioning and are full-hearted believers in gender ideology who come here begging for help to ‘stop being trans’ and then freak out and run off to trans subreddits to complain about us when people here offer compassionate suggestions? I also find these people annoying, but more kind of depressing than anything. They’re clearly deeply unwell people.

if you actually know what to know what the doctor meant by that, many or maybe most medical professionals dealing with this stuff understand the problem of gender dysphoria to be a 'physical' rather than 'mental' health issue, so they see the body as being dysfunctional rather than the mind, and by this logic estrogen is no different from any other medication with potential negative side effects.

yeah. there used to be a bunch but every single one got wiped out in mid 2020. i think it's basically against the rules of the website to say anything critical of gender ideology. it's a miracle this still exists but a lot of powerful people really wish it didn't.