This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The user demonstrates:
- A consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative of their transition and detransition experience over time.
- Emotional depth, including regret, trauma, and self-reflection, which is consistent with the stated passion and pain of real detransitioners.
- Practical advice and empathetic engagement with others that reads as genuine human interaction, not scripted bot responses.
- A perspective that evolves and contains contradictions, which is typical of a real person processing a complex experience.
About me
From a very young age, I always envisioned myself growing up to be male, and when my female puberty began, I was devastated. I found the trans community online at twelve and lived as a boy all through my teens, which finally made me feel like I belonged. My perspective completely changed after I had top surgery at twenty, which I instantly regretted and which made me realize I had made a huge mistake. I detransitioned soon after, and I discovered that my dysphoria faded when I let go of the belief that I was supposed to be a man. I am now accepting myself as a female woman and am looking into reconstruction to try and undo the damage.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was just a little kid. From as early as five or six, I always played as a male character with my friends, my dad, my brother. When I played video games, I always picked the boy. I even catfished a girl online when I was about eight or nine, pretending to be a boy until a friend exposed me. I remember creating myself as a man in The Sims and telling a friend, "this is me," and she just looked totally confused. When a teacher told me about lesbians when I was seven, I told her that if I married a woman, I would want to be the man in the relationship. I saw myself growing up to be male, and when puberty hit and that wasn't my reality, I got really upset.
I found the label "trans" for what I was feeling when I was twelve. I was actively googling things like "how to be a boy if you're a girl." It all made so much sense to me instantly, but I still waited about four months to come out because I thought it was so statistically unlikely. I spent my entire teenage years living as a boy. I hung out with other guys and finally felt like I fit in somewhere. But I also started to notice ways I was different and had experiences that were inherently female.
My opinions on gender have changed so much. For a long time, I believed I had a type of "non-binary" gender dysphoria. Now, I see it as a normal discomfort with my body that got twisted into something else. The belief that I was "a man on the inside" is actually what caused my gender dysphoria to develop and get worse. When I stopped believing in that idea, a lot of the dysphoria just disappeared. I still have insecurities, but it's so much easier to deal with them now that I don't believe there's something fundamentally wrong with me that needs to be fixed with surgery or hormones.
I had top surgery when I was twenty, and it was the thing that made me realize I had made a huge mistake. It happened so fast; I didn't even know a week before that I was going to have it. I had instant regret. It was traumatic. I lost a body part I’d had my entire life, one that I had told myself I hated but had actually become more okay with over time. I think my dysphoria had been mellowing out as I got older, but because I was living as male, I felt like I couldn't let that happen. The surgery was the nail in the coffin for me. It made me see that I didn't want this.
After that, I detransitioned. It was incredibly painful and confusing. I had no idea who I was anymore. But it became less painful than continuing to live as trans. Even when you pass to others, you never stop policing yourself. Transition didn't solve my dysphoria; letting go of trying to be a man did. I finally accepted my body as female.
I really wish I had known how normal it is to feel discomfort, especially around puberty, and how many young girls are uncomfortable with growing into women. If I had heard more cis women talk about their complicated relationships with womanhood, I might have realized my feelings were okay and that I didn't need to transition. I think if I had just waited, I would have grown out of it.
I do have regrets. I regret my top surgery deeply and now I want to pursue reconstruction. I feel a certain amount of excitement about possibly getting my breasts back, even though I know they won't be the same. I feel like I was part of a medical experiment, and I’ve had to come to terms with that.
I don't think being trans is wrong for everyone. Some people live their entire lives happily as the opposite sex, and people should be free to do what makes them happy. But it should be a choice, and right now, it feels like the only treatment offered is transition. There isn't enough evidence to support that it's the only way. I just want people to know that it's okay to question, it's okay to wait, and it's okay if your feelings change.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 5-6 | Began consistently playing as male characters with friends and family. |
| 7 | Told a teacher I would want to "be the man" if I married a woman. |
| 8-9 | Catfished a girl online by pretending to be a boy. |
| 12 | Found the term "trans" online while searching for my feelings. Came out and began socially transitioning to live as a boy. |
| Teen Years | Lived socially as a boy throughout my teenage years. |
| 20 | Had top surgery. Experienced immediate regret and trauma. |
| 20 | Began detransitioning shortly after surgery. |
| 21 | Now living as a woman again and considering breast reconstruction. |
Top Comments by /u/NewtDesigner7403:
Trans SHOULD BE a choice. It is not now, cuz they have like you say, dominated the conversation and made it so that anyone with gender dysphoria, no matter the cause, believe that the only treatment is transition, which there just isn't evidence to support. Its understandable why this medicalisation of gender non-conformity has devloped, but it doesnt mean its right.
I've noticed that too, and Jordan Peterson has made the link as well. I think he explained it as someone who is gender non-conforming would probably be high in openess and therefore be quite creative. If you are a creative person your identity is probably less stable, you can be one thing one day and another thing the next. So it makes total sense that a lot of trans-identified and gender non-conforming people would also make good artists and have an interest in creative fields.
Honestly your story and timeline sounds quite similar to mine. I had top surgery at 20 and ended up detransitioning right after pretty much, cuz it made me realise i acrually didnt want this. But before, i felt just like you do. There's no way to know if the way u feel right now will change or if it will remain that way for the rest of ur life. You need to make a decision for yourself, whether there is such a thing as "real transexuals" or if you are "really trans" its not the questions you should be asking.
I didn't know since childhood, but there were signs from as early as like 5 or 6 years old. I would always play as a male character with my friends, father, boyfriend, brother etc. When I played video games I also always picked male and even catfished a girl that I was a boy on MSP and we were boyfriend and girlfriend until my irl friend exposed me lol. This was when I was like 8 or 9. I created myself in sims as a man and told my other friend "this is me" (or me in the future, im not sure?) and she just looked confused. When told about lesbians at maybe 7 by a teacher I told her that if I married a woman I would wanna be the man in the relationship. She probably thought I was a dumbass lol. I wasn't really a tomboy, I played w both boy- and girl toys and most my friends were female until like 4th grade. But I saw myself as growing up to be male and when reality hit at puberty I got very upset. I found the trans label at 12 years old while actively googling my feelings, and it all just made sense. Yet I still took a good 4 months or so to actually come out because I thought it was statistically unlikely for me to be trans. The fact that I identified so much with the male sex as a young child is one of the reasons it took me so long to realize that maybe my gender dysphoria had been caused by external factors.
Your face has feminized quite a lot! Your beard is also really good, and it looks to me like you have equally good options to either continue living as male without the testosterone or detransitioning completely, depending on what you want. What's ur plans for the future?
They were following me too, like why? I'm not even that active lol
It comes with time and practice. I felt a lot like that in the beginning, but things got gradually better once I became more comfortable wearing more feminine items that made me pass more. Waxing is painful, but it usually works better to remove hair, along with plucking them individually w a pincer which is tedious but also quite satisfying. I haven't got very far w voice training and while i probably come off as quite androgynous, I feel fairly comfortable anyway. I at least dont feel like i look like "a man dressed as woman" when I go out. People usually don't pay that much attention, so you need less than you think to move into the "female" category if you were born that way.
Yeah, ive reasoned a lot about my gender dysphoria latetly and my opinions are changing constantly, but for a while i believed i had parts of it but not the most extreme form. I considered it a type of "non-binary" gender dysphoria. Now im more considering it normal discomfort, as we all do have about of bodies, and I just happened to be more comfortable with a more masculine gender expression. The belief that I was "a man on the inside" is what caused the gender dysphoria to develop, and when I stopped believing in the ideology the dysphoria dissappear. I still have insecurities, but since i no loner believe there is something wrong with me that needs to be fixed, it is a lot more easier to deal with. I've had to come to terms with that i was just a medical experiment.
It's never wrong to wait until you feel more positively about the surgery. I had my top surgery a year ago and just like you I had instant regret. Also want to get a reconstruction eventually, so I can definitly relate to how you're feeling. My top surgery happened so fast, I didn't know even a week before that I was gonna have it and I had no time to prepare myself. I wish I gave myself time back then, so now that I'm pursuing reconstruction I am not gonna make the same mistake. You are not alone, you are not selfish, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I hope you can find a way to frame the surgery in a more positive light, I feel a certain amount of excitement about possibly getting my boob's back, even though I also know they won't be the same. To focus on the positive rather than the negative might help make the surgery less nerve-wracking. Wishing you all the best!
Idk, i think detrans people should be able to share their stories without worrying about the impact it will have on trans people. This sounds a lot like you want detrans people to stay silent because it might hurt the image of trans people, but what about us?