This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this user account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced experience with gender non-conformity, detransition, and PCOS.
- Emotional consistency in their passion and frustration, which aligns with the stated experiences of many detransitioners.
- Detailed, specific advice (e.g., makeup tips, journaling prompts) that reads as genuine and personal rather than scripted.
- A consistent, reflective voice across a two-year period, discussing complex internal feelings and community dynamics.
About me
I felt a lot of pressure to transition after seeing it presented online as an easy fix for my discomfort, which started when my body changed during puberty due to an untreated medical condition. I almost tried to get hormones unofficially because I was so lost and thought changing my body was the only answer. Moving to a more accepting city was a huge turning point, as it showed me that a lot of my struggle was with my environment, not my female body itself. Getting treatment for my PCOS also helped me feel more comfortable physically. Now, I'm learning to accept myself as a tomboy without any medical intervention, focusing on my personal style instead of a label.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been complicated, and looking back, I see a lot of threads that got tangled up together. I never fully transitioned medically, but I came very close to trying hormones from unofficial sources because the idea was so pushed online. For a long time, I felt a lot of pressure to define myself, and transitioning seemed like an answer.
A big part of my experience was the influence I felt from online spaces. I saw constant clips and memes that made transitioning sound like a simple, easy fix—"just do it," they said. It was presented as this lighthearted suggestion, but when people criticized that approach, the response was always, "It's just a joke!" But suggestions are powerful, especially when you're feeling lost. I think if I had seen that kind of content as a teenager, I would have been the type to try and get black market hormones. Even as an adult, I still think about what it would be like to pass as a man, but I've become okay with just being a tomboy.
I also have PCOS, which affected my body during puberty and made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't get it treated until later, and starting medication helped redistribute the fat in my face, which softened my features. That physical discomfort during my teen years definitely played a role in how I felt about my body.
I spent a lot of time feeling like I had to fit into a box. In my hometown, I felt I had to pick an identity and stick to it silently. It led to a lot of low self-esteem and anxiety, and I had horrible luck with love because people wanted someone more "traditional." Being different felt like it invited stares and accusations of just seeking attention. It was a really isolating feeling.
What helped me was eventually moving to a different city. It was a huge commitment, but it changed everything. In my new environment, people are more accepting. Strangers even compliment my style, and I can be open about feeling confused without being dismissed. I can say "I don't know how to describe my internal voices" and people respond with compassion. This shift showed me that a lot of my struggle was with my social surroundings, not necessarily with my body itself.
Seeing the way detransitioning people are treated has been eye-opening. It's sad that detrans folks are often painted as bitter or pathetic by some trans communities, which makes them afraid to speak out when they are at their most vulnerable. It made me realize that the numbers of people who regret transitioning are probably much higher than anyone knows, because many suffer alone. Watching videos like that Jubilee episode, where they talked down to a girl who had a double mastectomy, was upsetting. But seeing the community rally around her in video essays was actually healing for me.
I don't have major regrets because I didn't undergo surgeries or take hormones, but I do regret the years I spent thinking that medically changing my body was the only way to solve my discomfort. My thoughts on gender now are that it's okay to not have a clear label. For me, focusing on how clothes and style make me feel, rather than how I think I look to others, has been the most helpful thing. I keep a journal to document what I wear and how it makes me feel, which helps me understand my own preferences without the pressure of an identity.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
My Age | Event |
---|---|
Teen years | Experienced puberty discomfort, likely linked to untreated PCOS. Felt pressure to fit into a gender box. |
Late teens / Early 20s | Heavily influenced by online content promoting transition as an easy solution. Seriously considered trying black market hormones. |
Mid-20s | Began to question the narrative, saw how detrans people were treated and felt sympathy. Started to identify more as a tomboy. |
Around 26-27 | Moved to a new, more accepting city. Found that my social anxiety and need to transition lessened dramatically. |
Around 27 | Started medication for PCOS, which helped with facial fat distribution and body comfort. |
Present (late 20s) | Focus on personal style and self-acceptance through journaling. No longer pursuing medical transition, comfortable with a non-conforming presentation. |
Top Comments by /u/Nime_Chow:
I really appreciate this detailed comment and it makes me think about how if I saw content like this as a teen I definitely would have been the type to buy black market hormones. Even now as someone who is well beyond college age, I still have the thoughts of transitioning. I’m ok with being a tomboy but I do wonder about the concept of passing as an actual male a lot. There’s always the constant clips of “just do it” and “it’s so easy to try! Give it a try, you won’t regret it.” But then when it’s critique then it’s “it’s a joke!” Or “It’s a lighthearted suggestion. No one is forcing anyone to do anything!” (Even though no one is saying it’s forced, but suggestions are called suggestions for a reason.) Like idk, jokes like this could work if it’s aimed within trans adults but aiming it at cis teens and cis young adults need to be waaaay more clear that’s it’s a shitpost instead of an actual sincere suggestion.
Yeah, detrans people are prob also likely to avoid communities like this because trans people paint this sub as bitter/pathetic transphobes. It sad that detrans folks have to fear be doxxed on top of being at their most vulnerable, therefore they suffer alone or choose to stay in smaller/private forums. Numbers here could be much higher.
Ugh that Jubilee episode was so upsetting. The way they talked down to that girl who got the double mastectomy just goes to show how bold trans people can be, to be so dismissive & cold. It def makes the detrans community stronger, all the video essays that followed defending that girl healed my heart.
I have a feeling that if you moved to another environment you’d feel much comfortable with your social surroundings. Obviously that’s easier said than done, moving in general is difficult and moving to another city or state is a huge commitment. But I relate to the themes of your post and in my hometown I felt I had to pick a box and stick to it silently. But where I am now, people are not only more accepting but strangers approach me for small talk when they are inspired by what I am wearing or doing. I had horrific luck with the love life back in the day since people wanted a more traditional and ‘normal’ life and being different meant possible stares and accusations of “attention seeking” lifestyle choices. But now I am comfortable saying “I don’t know how to describe my internal voices” and people will respond to the dialogue in a compassionate way and even are willing to help problem solve instead of saying “oh wah wah, get over it.”
Obviously my suggestion isn’t realistic since one cannot simply move their entire lives but maybe see if your area provides low cost therapy and if there’s coffee shops/bars that host artsy events try going to some and dress the way you want to dress that day.
Don’t focus too much on how you look through the eyes of others, focus on how you feel dressed a certain way. Keep a journal and write down the date, the outfit you wore, where it was worn, and how you feel. “July 4th 2024, I wore biker shorts, a form fitting tshirt, and a bold colored flannel unbuttoned. I wore this to the local beach event and I liked how the flannel draped my torso but I regret wearing the biker shorts because it felt like mini leggings. I wish I wore my cargo shorts that has a billion pockets, since putting my hands in the pockets brings me comfort when I don’t know what to do with my hands.” You can add in what others said and your reaction, but not as a critique to follow but instead as a way of documenting. Stuff like “Jane said the neon shirt me look like a gay construction worker. I enjoyed this” and “Isaiah said the necklace I wore looked like something a Disney Princess would wear. I do like the necklace but never worn pieces like that, I’d like to make a tamer version of this since I do want to add a touch of fem to some looks but do not like things when it’s too fem.”
It’s normal, I have PCOS and didn’t get it treated during my teenhood and structure is similar to yours. I did start PCOS medication and the redistribution of fat on my face did help, so maybe once your off T for a year your redistribution of face with soften things up.
Makeup wise, I’d go simple with the lips. Natural tone lipsticks or tinted lip balms will work for you. But your eyes are gorgeous so I’d focus on the eyebrows, created a darker and sharper brow. And go nuts with the eyeshadow, eyes like your can pull off glam, classic, goth, 90s frosty vibes, K-pop inspired, etc. A nice eyeliner, mascara, and two or three eyeshadows palettes can provide endless options. Experiment, watch YouTube makeup tutorials, join supportive makeup groups on Facebook, and rock those amazing peepers. I wear glasses too and enjoy the ones with round clear frames when I want to show off my eye makeup.