This story is from the comments by /u/Ninine17 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly consistent, empathetic, and offer specific, practical advice that aligns with the experiences of detransitioners and desisters. The language is nuanced and shows a deep, personal understanding of the detransition process, including physical, psychological, and social aspects. The account's shift over time from offering support to expressing a strong ideological critique of transgenderism is a common trajectory for individuals in this community.
About me
I started taking testosterone at 20 because I was deeply unhappy and thought becoming a man was the answer. After four years and top surgery, I realized the physical relief was temporary and the hormones were harming my health. I stopped everything at 24 and finally understood that my body was never the problem, but my mind was. Now I'm learning to live as a woman again, and while I have permanent changes like a deeper voice, I'm focusing on my mental health. Finding this community gave me hope that I can make peace with my past and build a future.
My detransition story
My journey into transition started when I was around 20 years old. I was deeply unhappy and felt like I didn't fit in anywhere. I found a lot of comfort and community online, in spaces where people talked about being trans. I became convinced that my discomfort with my body and my place in the world meant I was actually a man. I think a lot of my feelings were rooted in a deep-seated low self-esteem and depression. I hated my breasts and felt a general sense of discomfort with the changes that happened during female puberty. Looking back, I think I was trying to escape from myself.
I started taking testosterone when I was 20 and was on it for four years. During that time, I got top surgery. I thought it would fix everything and make me finally feel at home in my body. For a while, it did feel like a relief. But the feeling didn't last. I started to experience serious health complications from the testosterone, like bad skin problems, painful cramping, and my cholesterol levels went up. It made me stop and think about what I was doing to my body.
I stopped testosterone cold turkey when I was 24. The sudden drop in hormones caused bad mood swings and made me feel really depressed for a few weeks. That was a really hard time. I began to realize that I had been wrong. I had convinced myself of an ideology, and I rejected any information that contradicted it. I gaslit myself.
Now, I don't believe there is such a thing as being "trans" in the way it's talked about today. I think it's a belief system, an ideology. The only requirement is saying you are trans; there's no real, concrete way to diagnose it. I came to understand that you cannot change your biology. My body was never the problem; it was perfectly healthy. The problem was in my mind, and I believe the focus should be on treating the brain through therapy, not on altering the body through hormones and surgery.
I have some regrets about my transition, especially the permanent changes. My voice is permanently deeper, and I am now infertile. I had top surgery, and while I personally feel somewhat neutral about not having breasts now—I figure grieving them won't bring them back—I do sometimes find it disturbing to think about what was done to them. I know for many other women, this is a huge source of pain.
I benefited greatly from finding this detransition community. Talking to others who went through the same thing was crucial for me. It made me feel less alone. I’ve learned that the best thing to do is to give yourself time, focus on your mental health, eat well, and try to reconnect with who you really are. My views have also changed, and I've become more conservative and religious over time, which has given me a different perspective on life.
I don't think my life is over. I'm learning to live as a woman again, and I'm trying to make peace with my body and the choices I made. I look at the hopeful detransition timelines from other women, and it gives me hope for my own future.
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 20 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 20-24 | Was on testosterone for 4 years. |
| Sometime in my early 20s | Had top surgery. |
| 24 | Stopped testosterone cold turkey. Experienced mood swings and depression. Began my detransition. |
| 24 (Present) | Living as a woman again, dealing with the permanent changes, and focusing on healing. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Ninine17:
I mean you're not wrong saying the system failed you. But you also have to understand doctors are kinda helpless here. They have to deal with trans people who insist to be taken care of and then detransitionners too. They cannot be 100% sure people won't change their minds so they're doing their best here. In my opinion they should prioritize detrans people but no one think like that so maybe they think you're less important. But at least she takes responsibility for treating destransitionners which is great because some doctors definitely don't want to have to deal with such cases.
Well cis identity IS real. I mean, if you live your life without altering anything regarding your gender then you're rooted in reality. Biology is reality while identifying with something else is purely subjective. Being cis is something stable and that happens over and over in nature. And honestly, comparing biology to astrology is pretty wild. One is a fact backed up with concrete data: chromosomes, sex, hormones, etc and the other is something we came up with. If everything is subjective as you say then it is pointless to even have this discussion in the first place.
To me, the only way to be free is to live your life according to what you are and not lie to yourself to alter reality.
Ok, take a deep breath. You're handling a lot right now and that's definitely not easy. First, you should try to focus on your mental health. If therapy is not working for you, you should find detrans friends asap. Luckily for you, you're in the right place here. A lot of other people are in very similar situations as yours. You're not alone in this. The only people that will understand you 100% and not judge you are here. But there's also a lot of hopeful content just look at all the great timelines. Give it more time. Some detrans women have come a very long way and look at where they are now.
Please take care of yourself. Eat, sleep and try to exercise if you can. All of this will help your body heal faster. I'm sure you'll make it.
And btw, here on this subreddit we already see you as a girl, and a brave one, at that.
Listen, it's not over. Everyone has their own problems in life and you're definitely not the only one going through this kind of grief. First of all there are options if the pain is too much. You can have a reconstruction surgery, whether you choose implants or autologous (your own fat/muscles). And if you choose not to, don't worry about other's perception, lots of women are flat and no one cares. Also don't say such things about your future, you're still young and have so much to experience in life. You'll definitely find someone who loves you for who you are no matter what. Look at all the successful detrans stories here and on YouTube. You can do it too, just be strong and don't stay alone. I really wish you the best, don't hesitate to message me if you want 🫶
I think you should definitely attend this event. You're definitely not "infiltrating" a women's space as you are one too. Don't overthink it, people there will probably not pay much attention to you or anyone else. If some people know you there they will probably assume you're a mtf or nb so maybe tell them the truth if it really bother you? But anyways attending such events is the best to grow as a woman, it'll definitely help you.
Exactly what I've been feeling these days. You're definitely not alone in that situation. You should try to talk to other men who are going through this too if you haven't already. Also it's probably not a good idea to express your feelings to the trans community as they wouldn't listen anyways. The best would be sharing to the general public so that people become more aware of detransition. Anyways I wish you the best and hope you'll feel better over time
I (and I believe a lot of others) didn't come to the realization that I wasn't trans but rather that there was no such thing as being trans. I realized no matter what you do to your body you cannot change biology so why go through so much pain? I do understand dysphoria as I experienced it and still am. But going back to your true self is wisdom acquired over time. I kept on trying to convince myself I made the right choice instead of letting go of the ideology. I suggest you read a few posts from this subreddit so that you can learn more on the topic and build your own opinion
What I mean is, the only requirement that exists to be considered trans is saying you are trans. Anyone can say they are trans. It's all very subjective and there are no scientific or medical way to diagnose gender dysphoria. For a long time I thought I was a real trans person yet here I am. Being trans is not rooted in any concrete truth. Also, I believe we should treat the brain, not the body – which is perfectly healthy.
Yeah I think you didn't get my point. What I meant is, when we (detransitioners) were still living as transgenders we were literally indistinguishable from those who are still trans. I used to firmly believe I would never change my mind. Yet here I am. What makes you think it's not the same for the rest of them? What makes them different? They might suddenly change their mind and detransition and there's no way to tell who will and who won't. Also, the whole trans thing is fairly recent so we will definitely see more and more detransitioners as time goes by. The 99% you're talking about will slowly go down.
That's great I'm very happy for you. Coming at peace with our bodies is the most important. Personally I don't feel this bad about not having breasts anymore and I believe grieving them won't bring them back anyways so let's say I'm neutral. The only thing that really bothers me when I think about it is I imagine they were thrown away and disposed just like a piece of meat. I find it pretty disturbing tbh. I know it is very hard for some other women and I do understand what they might feel and I wish them the best.