This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments show a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally invested perspective that aligns with a detransitioned/desisted female. The user engages with complex topics, offers personal advice, and their writing has a natural, conversational flow with typical human inconsistencies. The passion and specific frustrations expressed are consistent with the genuine experiences of people in the detrans community.
About me
I started transitioning because I felt uncomfortable with my body and thought becoming a man was the answer. My journey was driven by fantasy and a struggle to accept myself as a masculine woman. I took testosterone and had surgery, which caused irreversible changes and health issues. I’ve since stopped and now live as a masculine woman, free from those labels. I finally accept that I am female and can express myself any way I want.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I felt really uncomfortable with my body, especially during puberty. I hated developing breasts and felt completely out of place. I'm also autistic, and I think that made everything more confusing for me; it was hard to separate my feelings about my body from my general discomfort with social expectations and change. I found a lot of community and answers online that pointed me toward transition. It felt like the solution.
I identified as non-binary at first, but that quickly shifted to wanting to be a man. I started taking testosterone. The changes were intense and, in many ways, irreversible. My voice dropped, I grew some sparse facial hair, and my body shape changed. I eventually got top surgery and had my breasts removed. At the time, I thought it was what I needed to finally feel right.
But a lot of my desire to transition was tied up in fantasy and escapism. I had this idealized image in my head of who I could be, and I think a lot of it was sexually charged. The grass always seemed greener on the other side. I had low self-esteem and depression, and I thought becoming someone else was the answer. I also struggled with internalized homophobia; I think part of me found it easier to try and become a straight man than to accept being a masculine woman who is attracted to men.
Over time, I started to realize that no amount of hormones or surgery could actually make me a biological man. I saw that many transgender men, including myself, weren't as "stealth" as we thought. The surgeries available for female-to-male transition are subpar; you can't get a real, functioning penis. I began to feel that testosterone had just made me, a female, look uglier rather than like a real man. The vaginal dryness and other side effects were also really difficult to deal with.
I started to question what gender even is. I came to believe that being a woman just means being female, and being a man means being male. You can't opt out of your sex. Non-binary started to seem like just another label for people who are gender non-conforming. I realized that women can be masculine and men can be feminine without changing who they are fundamentally. I hated that masculine women are so often pushed into identifying as trans instead of just being accepted for who they are.
I began to detransition. I stopped taking testosterone. I don't regret my journey because I needed to go through it to learn these things, but I do have many regrets about the permanent changes. The top surgery is irreversible, and I am now infertile. I have serious health complications from the hormones, including ongoing issues with vaginal atrophy.
Now, I still present in a masculine way, but I do so as a woman. It’s freeing to finally accept myself and just act as I please instead of trying to conform to a trans stereotype of gender. I can wear whatever clothes I want from any section of the store. I've benefited from non-affirming therapy that helped me work through my body dysmorphia and other issues. My thoughts on gender now are simple: you are your sex, and you can express yourself however you want within that. I just wish I had learned that sooner.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
13 | Started puberty, began to intensely hate my developing breasts and feel deep discomfort with my body. |
16 | Found community online, identified as non-binary as an initial step. |
17 | Socially transitioned to male, began asking people to use a new name and pronouns. |
18 | Started taking testosterone. |
21 | Underwent top surgery to have my breasts removed. |
24 | Began to seriously question my transition, realizing it was tied to fantasy and escapism. |
25 | Stopped taking testosterone and began the process of detransitioning. |
26 | Underwent non-affirming therapy which helped me accept my body and work through my issues. |
Top Comments by /u/No-Letterhead-5518:
Wholey agree. And it seems to cause people to take medication and reinforce these stereotypes vs just being themselves in the body they have. I still can’t understand how non-binary isn’t just gender nonconforming who for some reason need to let everyone know. Yet we still see them as men and women. Then those that are nonconforming have it harder and forced into non-binary. Ranting but why can’t someone just be a straight masculine woman who likes men and wearing masculine clothes and without being pushed into trans?
not ugly at all. Both photos looked nice and if you can share, what led to wanting to be masculine presenting again instead of a feminine presenting male? As a detrans female I still present masculine but in a way that people know im a woman because I am and its freeing to accept myself and just act as I please instead of conforming to some trans stereotype of gender.
Isn’t this sort of the reverse as well for ftm? I mean what op deexcribed is something only accessible to actual males just as nurturing life inside yourself is for females. We can live outside the norm but must be willing to accept the baggage that comes with not conforming
How much is fantasy? I had felt this way but a lot was tied into fantasy and being on the spectrum got convoluted. Grass always seems greener but probably greenest where you already are. Even with hormones and surgeries do you think you could realistic ever be that person you imagine? Would you eventually start wishing the reverse? Being a woman isn’t a costume. You can dress as you want already, go shave wear a dress whatever men and women can wear what they want, just think hard if this is fantasy and sexually tied or some need that’s worth it even if you don’t reach your fantasy
Shouldn't people be drawn to you for who you truly are? It's rare to encounter someone who connects with others in the way you described, like in a scene across a store. Such scenarios are more common in movies than in real life. In reality, many people meet online. Embracing and presenting yourself as you genuinely wish to be is not only more authentic but also likely to be more liberating.
Yeah, if you want to dress feminine go more neutral fem, like shop whatever you like in the fem section. But lucky for you, you're female and have a much wider expression. What's even a tomboy these days? I see girly girls wearing clothes from the masculine section. I know men that wear "feminine" clothes because they fit better. The "clothing" world is your oyster.
These are different target audiences though. Why would men looking for men look for women? Obviously if I'm a man and want a woman should I would click on woman. But if Im a man looking for men id click men. The men seeking men would be getting what they want. The man seeking a woman wouldn't get what they want in terms of sexual activity.
thats ok, Im native English and my writing is bad. Didn't notice anything wrong with your English. Imagine you look like photo 1 and people know you are a man. Does it really matter what others think? Who's to say photo 1 isn't a man? I think you can incorporate any style you want and still be you even if you are a biological man. I don't know what technology is going to be around in the future, but I think regardless photo 1 or 2 you can still be a successful male, feminine or not.
Well are genitals still gendered? I mean a woman is not a stereotypes. Being a woman just means being female which generally included vulvas. I had to learn basically if you have a vilva you are a woman what does non-binary mean when males and females have non-binary, often these non-binary and women dress the same. You Can’t opt out of being a man or a woman it’s just how things work. Besides women are treated better than men,
Why do women often become straight when they take t? Always found that odd. Well have you considered getting laser? Covering up with makeup to hide it? You don't have to change yourself but Im only addressing you feeling alienated and if you felt the need to slightly conform.
Maybe showing your chest a bit more prominent?