This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments display:
- Highly specific, personal, and consistent narratives about detransition, surgery, and mental health struggles.
- Emotional depth and vulnerability, including raw descriptions of suicide attempts and trauma.
- Practical, nuanced advice that reflects lived experience (e.g., specific hair care routines, electrolysis tips, navigating medical systems).
- Internal consistency in the timeline and details of their story across multiple comments.
The passion and anger present are consistent with a genuine detransitioner who feels they were harmed by their transition.
About me
I started transitioning as a teenager when I was mentally ill and traumatized, and therapists guided me toward hormones and surgery instead of helping me heal. After my surgery, I had a devastating realization that I had transitioned out of trauma and self-loathing, which led to a severe suicidal crisis. My recovery involved relearning how to live in my female body, from voice training and electrolysis to asking for help to "learn how to girl again." I’ve done immense mental health work and have confronted my internalized ideas about womanhood, finally making peace with my feminine nature. I’m now approaching happiness for the first time, living in my body as my true self, though I still grieve the damage that was done.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition started when I was a teenager. I was really mentally ill and traumatized, and I was placed with therapists through my university who were more politically motivated than helpful. I was severely delusional from PTSD, and instead of getting help for that, I was guided toward transitioning. I now see that my transition was a clear mistake and a case of horrific malpractice.
I started testosterone and eventually got top surgery. About a month after that surgery, I had a massive realization. I realized I didn't want to be a medical patient for the rest of my life and that I would never find the kind of love I truly wanted living as a trans man. Most importantly, I saw clearly that I had transitioned out of trauma and a deep, misogynistic self-loathing. The moment that truth hit me, I felt completely hopeless. I tried to kill myself five separate times in one week. It was the lowest point of my entire life.
It’s been a little over two hellish years since then, but I’ve been working incredibly hard on myself, and for the first time in my life, I’m finally approaching happiness. I’ve done a lot of mental health healing.
A big part of my healing was learning to live in my body again. I started doing yoga, which helped me feel connected to my body parts for the purpose of caring for them, instead of hyper-focusing on them to hate them. I had to learn to not be ashamed of wanting to look pretty as a woman. Putting effort into my appearance became a big step in healing. I had to ask for help, calling stylists and estheticians and being honest, saying, "Hi, I need help learning to girl again, it's been a bad few years." That was one of the most helpful things ever.
I had to deal with the physical changes from testosterone. I was fortunate with hair loss and regained some after stopping T. I got PRP treatments on my temples, take biotin, and am very careful with my hair. For facial hair, I did electrolysis. My voice is still deeper than it was, but I voice-trained myself and never get "sir'd" on the phone anymore. It took a lot of time and patience.
I also had to confront my ideas about womanhood. I realized I had internalized this feminist blank-slate idea and saw traditional femininity as weak or silly. Looking at women in other cultures where traditional womanhood isn't so stereotyped helped me stop fighting against my own feminine nature. I can be a smart, strong, capable person and still be a feminine woman.
A lot of my initial discomfort came from being a gifted girl in STEM. I was accelerated through classes, skipped grades, and was always the one girl beating the boys in math and physics. It was incredibly isolating and made me question my gender because I had zero female peers. Any boy I dated would eventually be scared off or feel emasculated because I was better than him at the nerdy stuff we based our self-esteem on. That really fucked with my head. Now, I avoid those competitive, isolating environments and have found hobbies where I can collaborate with people instead of competing.
I don't regret my detransition for a second. I live in my body now. I actually want to care for it because it feels like mine. Sex is better, I feel better, I look cuter, and I'm less anxious. But I have many regrets about transitioning. I feel like my body was mutilated, and that word squares with the body horror I've experienced. It wasted thousands of dollars and years of my youth, traumatized me further, and made dating difficult.
I’m now looking into breast reconstruction. Even when I went for a psych eval for it, the doctor tried to frame it as my gender identity just shifting again, completely ignoring the malpractice that led me there. It was icky and made my skin crawl.
Somehow, I survived the worst of it, and I'm so grateful every day that I did. My situation felt hopeless, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel. If you were strong enough to admit you made that big a mistake, you're strong enough to recover from it. The hard part is over; now you just gotta keep truckin'.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Began transitioning after being guided by university therapists. Was severely traumatized and delusional with PTSD. |
| 16 | Started taking testosterone. |
| ? | Had top surgery. |
| ? (1 month post-op) | Realized transition was a mistake stemming from trauma and self-loathing. Immediately attempted suicide 5 times in one week. Began detransition. |
| ? | Stopped testosterone. |
| ? | Began the long process of physical recovery (voice training, hair regrowth treatments, electrolysis, laser hair removal). |
| ? | Started pursuing breast reconstruction surgery. |
Top Comments by /u/NoRemote4533:
Talk to more of them- I (IMO accurately) framed my situation as a case of horrific malpractice on a traumatized teenager, and found many people willing to help me. I also discussed how I had done a lot of mental health healing and had made tons of progress in my life since the initial events, and I think that made them trust my sanity more. It might help to have a therapist letter on your side, too.
If you want to DM me, I can recommend two reconstructive surgeons that I know are willing to operate on people in our situation, and who listened to my story so they're definitely familiar with detrans stuff.
yeah I totally got groomed from a young age (not in the pedo way for this at least lol) to do stem/academic stuff because I got recognized at a really young age as being good at math. Accelerated classes, skipping grades, sent to special schools, ended up being the one weird girl that would beat the boys at the various math/physics/engineering things at school. It was very isolating and definitely made me question my gender. It also gave me a huge complex outside of the gender stuff but that’s beside the point…. But anyway. Absolutely zero women with similar interests, and any boy i dated I would end up either scaring off or eventually emasculating by me getting better than him at whatever nerdy bullshit we both based our self esteem off of. That definitely fucked with my head and idea of my own gender. Ranking kids by talent at academic BS is sooooo toxic, especially for women, even (especially??) for the ones at the top. I’m kinda convinced it fucks women up to make them compete with men.
now I read philosophy books and bike ride and do music stuff and I cook a ton and brew mead in my basement. I suck at it all but I love it and I make hella friends who also suck but want to get better together. Avoiding atmospheres that land me in fucked up gender role situations and isolate me through competition instead of collaboration has really helped me feel comfier in my gender as a woman.
16 is far too young to make decisions about the rest of your life- try to decide you'll not take action on these thoughts and put them aside for a few years to try and live your life and see if stuff shakes out on its own. mess around and try living as a bunch of different kinds of woman and see if there's a way you can make womanhood feel more like home to you. don't get set on a decision and don't take any action until you're much older.... the repercussions of transitioning can be awful.
about a month after top surgery- realizing i didnt want to be a medical patient forever and also i would never find the love i wanted as a transman and also id 100% transitioned out of trauma and misogynist self-loathing. i then immediately tried to kill myself and failed 5 separate times in a week (in retrospect, lol, that success rate goes to show i really was a girl all along).
it's been a little over two hellish years since, i've been working hard on myself, and i'm finally approaching happiness for the first time in my entire life.
For letters and court orders I hit up the same trans doctors and legal groups that helped me transition. They were kinda confused (“you? Again?” “Ya I fucked up hehe”) but helped me anyway.
For medical doctors, maybe wait a bit until you’ve been stable for a while in your new identity, and maybe show up with a therapist letter because they REALLY aren’t gonna know what’s hit them, lol.
As far as friends, if your friends are mature good people that you want to keep around, they’ll support you. I was also scared about what friends and family would think, but detransition actually weeded out the people that I didn’t need to keep in my life and showed me who my true friends and supporters were.
I attempted suicide five times in two weeks when I realized I needed to detransition. I was totally hopeless, my situation was so similar to yours. Fortunately I’m still here and I’m living, like, not my dream life, but close enough. I’ve never been more confident or mentally healthy. You can probably still have kids and you can definitely find a life you want to live either way. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, just get through detransition if that’s what you need to do and then take care of yourself as best you can, the rest will come.
You could totally be grieving! at the advice of a therapist, I put all my hopes on transition as the solution to all my problems. When i realized that it had not only not fixed them, but made them worse, wasted thousands of dollars and years of youth, traumatized me worse, made dating difficult, and damaged my body... I tried to kill myself 5 times in 2 weeks. Somehow I survived that, and I'm so grateful every day that I did. Two years later I honestly love my life. Shit gets better. Whatever happened, you can heal. If you were strong enough to admit to yourself that you made that big a mistake, you're strong enough to recover from it- hard part is over, now you just gotta keep truckin' :)
prp and careful styling for hairline (go to a good hairstylist and just ask for help). growing it out takes forever but there are lots of things you can do in the meanwhile.
for facial hair do electrolysis, take advil and drink water and put numbing cream on yourself first, and don't drink caffeine or stay up late the night before. body hair do laser if you're the right colors, talk to an esthetician about your options if not. either way it'll thin a little with time off T. get an AHA scrub (i like the first aid beauty one) if you get a ton of ingrowns shaving in the meanwhile, i noticed that my skin + estrogen + hair follicles that got testosterone'd led to a lot of those.
you can voice train your voice, just practice sounding like a girl to yourself, the subreddit for voice training is helpful if you can't figure it out on your own or get a voice coach. my voice got deep on T and still is deeper than it was, but i never get "sir"'d anymore on the phone. you can get there with time.
when you're ready, don't be afraid to ask for help and be honest with a nutritionist/personal stylist/esthetician/makeup artist/your mom/whatever you need. recently i became willing to call experts and be like "hi, i need help learning to girl again, it's been a bad few years, could i spend an hour with you learning?". it has been the most helpful thing ever in not only looking like the cis woman i am, but also regaining my confidence.
things get better with time/hair growth/estrogen. patience is your friend, your body's healing abilities are incredible, some things won't get better but most things will. if you have the ability to make space to relax in your life itll definitely help this be less bumpy- i took time off school to work while i detransitioned, and i'm freelancing now instead of working FT while I finish up making changes to my appearance.
wear a big fluffy scarf with the t-shirt? that helped me a lot about that anxiety, especially with womens bathrooms. I eventually went the prosthetics and then reconstruction route, but i totally remember feeling just like you do now about a year ago.
Personally I do like to say mutilated, because it squares with how I feel. It conveys the awful body horror I’ve experienced in the past few years to people who aren’t familiar with trans/detrans stuff. When clueless people are rude to me about detrans stuff and spout off with some virtue-signaling trans rights stuff, I sometimes kinda relish making them squirm with strong language like that. I’d probably get real mad if someone who wasn’t me or my partner specifically called me mutilated, though.
yo try yoga to help yourself feel more at home in your body, you sound super disconnected from it. focusing on each body part for the purpose of caring for/stretching/exercising it (instead of hyperfocusing on it to hate it like it's a third party) can really help with making dysphoria/dysmorphia less distressing. if you do decide to detransition I'd also avoid social media during it, looking at photoshopped bodies instead of the women around you definitely increases the weird and incongruent feeling for me at least.