This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally raw internal conflict that is characteristic of genuine detransitioners and desisters. The user describes specific medical procedures, personal health struggles, and complex feelings of alienation and regret in a way that rings true to the difficult experiences shared in the /r/detrans community.
About me
I started transitioning in my late teens because I felt a deep discomfort with my female body after puberty and thought becoming a man would fix my depression. I took testosterone and had top surgery, and now I feel stuck continuing hormones just to avoid severe mood swings, even though I have so many doubts. I've changed my body so much that I feel like a mutilated woman, alienated and hopeless that I'll never fit in anywhere again. I deeply regret the permanent changes and had a humiliating experience when I tried to get medical help to stop. Now, I'm just trying to get through each day, scared of being judged and feeling like I have no future.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been confusing and, to be honest, pretty painful. I started transitioning because I felt deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially during and after puberty. I hated my breasts and just never felt right. I thought that becoming a man was the answer to all my problems with depression and anxiety.
I took testosterone for a long time and also had top surgery. The T did change how I felt emotionally; it stabilized my moods in a way. When I tried to stop taking it a few months ago, it was a miserable experience. My mood swings were terrible, and the depression and anxiety came back with a vengeance. I felt like estrogen as my dominant hormone made me go crazy. So, even though I have a lot of doubts, I feel stuck continuing T just to function.
But now, I don't really know what I am. I know I'm not "truly" a man. I don't believe I have a "male brain." I'm just being myself, not trying to act like a man or a woman. The problem is, I've changed my body so much that I feel like a mutilated woman. I look in the mirror and see the Adam's apple, the facial hair, and my flat chest from top surgery, and I feel hopeless. I feel like I'll never be able to pass as a woman again, and I'm alienated from other women. I feel like a creep even thinking about going into a women's bathroom or a clothing section.
I tried to get help from a gynecologist when I quit T, but it was humiliating. The doctor was judgmental, and they didn't know what to do with me. Their only suggestion was to put me on birth control for life, but that makes me feel crazy and depressed, too.
I have a lot of regrets about the permanent changes. I think about how men judge women, especially women who look more masculine, and it adds to my feeling of being stuck. I'm scared of being judged and of never fitting in anywhere. I don't regret transitioning in the sense that I was trying to survive, but I deeply regret the permanent physical changes. I'm just trying to get by day by day, sometimes minute by minute, because the future feels so hopeless.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 13-14 | Started feeling intense discomfort with my body and hated my breasts during puberty. |
| Late Teens | Started taking testosterone (T). |
| Early 20s | Had top surgery. |
| 25 | Tried to quit taking testosterone, but it led to severe depression and anxiety, so I resumed. |
| 25 | Went to a gynecologist after quitting T; had a humiliating experience with no real help offered. |
| Present (26) | Living with the permanent changes from T and surgery, feeling alienated and hopeless about the future. |
Top Comments by /u/No_Vegetable7484:
I would say that it's the same thing for women for many different things other than looks. Women get judged (by men and women) for being a slut, sleeping around a lot, aging, body wise etc. Women are just as scrutinized as men, if not more. And people generally have no problems telling you to your face. Throwing these very baseless comparisons is just kind of pointless because both women and men deal with problems and have different struggles.
I just feel like a mutilated woman. I'm not sure where to go from here but I feel hopeless that I will ever pass as a woman again. I will always be somewhat "clocky" because of my voice, top surgery, adam's apple, facial features etc... I also just feel alienated from other women. Like I can't enter the women's bathroom, or go to the women's section without feeling like a creep. I just don't have the money to fix myself to be passable again. I don't know what I should do but I'm just trying to get by day by day, sometimes just minute to minute.
I don't really want to stop taking T because having estrogen as my dominant hormone kind of makes me go crazy. I have bad mood swings, depression and anxiety from just stopping T. I quit taking T for a few months but it was a miserable few months because I was so anxious and depressed.
I also don't really think that I would be back to how I was. I already had top surgery and my facial features changed a lot with T. I might have to even do FFS if I ever want to pass as a woman, which I honestly don't really even care about at this point. I just know that I'm not "truly" a man either, and I don't think that I have a "male brain".
I mean, I'm not sure what you mean by the "life of a man". It's not like you are required to do macho masculine things if you don't want to or go to a secret club every Friday. For me, I'm just being myself. I'm not really trying to "act like a man" or trying to "act like a woman". Whatever people perceive is up to them.
I did actually go to a obygn a few months ago when I quit T, it was the most humiliating experience ever. The female doctor was so judgmental and everyone was confused why I was even here. Overall there's not even much that they can do except put you on birth control for the rest of your life, and birth control makes me crazy and depressed.
Sleeping with someone is different than actually being in a relationship with someone. I do agree that men are less pickier when it comes to hookups. And from hanging out and engaging with men as a man visually, they make fun of women or make comments about women they are not attracted to all the time. Especially women that tend to look masculine. Not really unexpected. It's just not a good idea to delude yourself.