This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced experience with desisting, including specific motivations and reflections.
- Consistent perspective focused on the need for better understanding and research, not blanket condemnation.
- Engagement in complex, multi-comment debates that show human-like reasoning and emotional investment.
- A clear and stated identity as a desister who never medically transitioned.
The passion and criticism align with the expected viewpoint of a genuine desister.
About me
I thought I was a man because I hated the unwanted attention my female body received and wanted to escape it. My obsessive thinking patterns made me latch onto this as the one answer to all my problems. I realized medical transition would make me stand out even more and that I was chasing an unattainable ideal. I stopped identifying as trans and am relieved I never took medical steps. Now, I've finally found understanding and a sense of belonging in these detrans communities.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a young adult. I began to believe I was a man trapped in a woman’s body. I genuinely felt with complete certainty that this explained my entire life. I formally identified as a trans man for several years, but I never took any medical steps like hormones or surgery.
A large part of why I wanted to transition was because I hated my body. I am petite and was athletic, with a very defined waist-to-hip ratio. I received a lot of unwanted sexual attention and comments, no matter how I dressed. I hated the attention my body got me and just wanted to blend in and be invisible. I thought transitioning was the only way to escape that and finally be the man I saw myself to be.
I also think my obsessive thinking patterns played a big role. I have traits of obsessive-compulsive disorders, and I believe that contributed to me latching onto the idea of being trans as the one answer to all my problems. It made everything make sense at the time.
I eventually realised that transitioning wouldn't solve my problems and would actually make my life more difficult in many ways. I wanted to fit in and belong, but I came to understand that medically transitioning would make me stand out in a way I couldn't handle. The stress of potentially never passing as male and forever being seen as trans caused me suicidal thoughts. I hated my body before, but the idea of it being an imperfect male body was even worse. I realised I was chasing an unachievable goal.
My discomfort started with puberty and the development of my female body. I now see that a lot of my feelings were related to that discomfort and a deep desire to escape my situation, not a true male identity. I also suspect that being autistic played a part; my quiet, withdrawn nature was always written off as me just being a "shy girl," when it might have been a sign of something else that was overlooked.
I desisted, meaning I stopped identifying as trans. I do not consider myself transgender now, and it’s frustrating when people in trans communities insist that I must still be trans or that I was never "truly trans" to begin with. My feelings were very real and very intense at the time. I don't regret exploring my gender, but I am relieved I never medically transitioned. I think I would have regretted that deeply.
I benefited from stepping away from trans communities online. I found that they were often just an echo chamber of affirmation, where transition was presented as the only solution to gender-related distress. I now believe that people, especially young people, should be thoroughly assessed for other underlying issues like autism, OCD, or eating disorders before embarking on a medical transition.
Now, I’ve found a lot of support and understanding in detrans communities. This is the first place where I’ve felt I truly belong and can talk about my experiences without being challenged or told I’m wrong. It’s helped me make sense of that part of my life.
Age | Event |
---|---|
18 | Started to believe I was a man trapped in a woman's body. |
19 | Formally began identifying as a trans man. |
22 | Realised transitioning would not solve my problems and began to desist. |
Top Comments by /u/Novel_Bowl:
I am so sorry. I do not understand how anyone could do such awful things, especially to a child. With how recently it was that the subreddit saved your life, I hope that your removal from here hasn't adversely mentally affected you. You deserve so much better than your treatment so far in life. Unless it is too painful for you, please do not stop speaking about this.
There are unfortunately quite a lot of people on certain subreddits that do not believe we are speaking from personal experience, rather that there are "no detrans people" on this subreddit and we are instead "TERF concern trolls". I have been somewhat following the "drama" since the subreddit bans, and there are many bizarre statements being made about this subreddit.
I think you're a little out of touch if you think trans people are the ones you need to walk on eggshells around.
Are you aware that there are near-constant attempts to get this subreddit banned? Or just how many people were cheering on other subreddits when this subreddit was banned?
A certain subgroup of trans people do not believe it is possible to genuinely identify as trans, but then genuinely no longer identify as trans, and believe that those of us who feel that way have been "manipulated" and "recruited" by "TERFs", which is what this subreddit is apparently for, and believe the subreddit should be deleted for our own good. There are other accusations about this subreddit that are similarly bizarre.
I have had multiple trans people try to "rescue" me for being "in denial", try to insist that I was never "truly trans", or otherwise not believe me. I have never been confronted by any other group that takes interest in the subreddit.
I know those who are actively trying to ban this subreddit do not represent all trans people, but I do feel most cautious around trans people nonetheless.
let me add I only got four hours of sleep
I hope you're okay. With the recent subreddit removals, as a user, I have definitely noticed an increase in votes, comments, and posts from all "sides" of outsiders, as well as discussions elsewhere about spam-reporting this subreddit. I wish the mods of the subreddits and communities responsible for this brigading would do something to try to end it. It is irresponsible for these much larger communities to allow what has been happening to happen. I hope, mainly for your sake, that this subreddit being center of attention ends soon. Thank you for persevering, I do not know how you do it.
hostile forces involving reddit users from another community
If it is the community I am thinking of, I do not understand how a subreddit that large is in constant violation of the reddit rules (especially 1 and 2) without being removed by the reddit admins. If I am correctly assuming, this is not the first time that the subreddit users have intentionally harassed Alex. I am incredibly sad and frustrated that their bullying went so far that she had to be removed as a moderator. I genuinely hope that she remains in the subreddit as a user, although I understand if the experience would put her off reddit completely. I doubt that the mob will stop there, and wish you and the other moderators the best with dealing with their repeated harassment and disruption of this subreddit and its users.
I hope this comment is allowed, please delete it if my speculation on what happened is unwelcome for any reason.
Believing that there is a possibility that some posts are made up or exaggerated, I can understand. But believing the entire subreddit is a conspiracy against trans people? That paranoia to me is quite bizarre.
I am not at all for trying to "convince people to not transition", rather against presenting transition as the only answer to the dysphoria/distress someone feels. I have read many posts expressing similar views, including mod posts.
It would be an odd and very indirect thing to "make up stories" like this while also having posts agreeing that sometimes, transition is the answer.
If we can't follow the rules, that's what will end the sub
For the subreddit most determined to get this subreddit banned, they constantly break rules 1 & 2 on the reddit content policy, with no action ever taken against them, despite being a much larger and much more influential subreddit than this one.
Not any group of transgender people
It was a subgroup of transgender people who were spam-reporting this subreddit to the reddit admins, who were spamming the report buttons on this subreddit, and who were otherwise breaking rule 2 of the content policy in an attempt to get this subreddit banned. To my knowledge, no other group has ever attempted to remove this subreddit from the site.
It has a reputation for radicalizing detransitioners because it /does/.
Participating on this subreddit made me less radicalized, strangely. If anything would radicalise me, it would be trans people removing the first and only online community I have ever felt any sense of belonging. When seeing the accusations made and the actions taken, I have to constantly remind myself that this mob do not represent all trans people.
The moderators of the subreddit deleted the comment, but there are achives of reddit comments, e.g. "removeddit". See here:
http://removeddit.com/r/transgender/comments/hi41i7/_/fwe4tq5/
A user in that subreddit tagged a reddit admin, listed other gender critical subreddits, but included this one in their list, and replied to other comments calling /r/detrans "an offensive subreddit" and "overtaken". It had 155 points at the time of deletion.
trans people who don't want to detransition?
The way you have worded it makes it seem like you think this subreddit is for people who identify as trans, but have stopped (or maybe reversed) their transition? Such as due to medical problems, legal problems, social problems, etc. But people like that are usually accepted in trans communities, and not considered any less trans, and would usually not call themselves "detrans".
Or maybe it is worded this way, because you consider us to be trans? I am reluctant to speak for others, but I don't consider myself trans, which I don't think I am a minority. It is tiring for trans people to repeatedly insist I must be someone who is trans who is in denial. I see too often that trans people will refuse to call detrans women "women" (and vice versa). Do you also still consider us to be trans?
I have it saved in any case. Trans activists are usually very quick to point out problems in methodology for studies that are used against them, but do not seem to apply the same type of critical thinking when using studies themselves. You have broken down the subject very well, and I think you should at least consider linking it somewhere in the subreddit information, since "detransition rates" are talked about often.