Yep.

I wasn’t fully sold on this one until just last week, to be honest. I tragically had to view it with my own eyes, then step away from the situation for my own sanity.

I was very close friends with someone with worsening mental health. Their OCD and psychosis-related symptoms are getting worse by the day. I was prepared to support them through this, especially when they mentioned they’re going to go to the doctor for it.

I’m sure you can can imagine my sheer, utter horror when they announced they’re starting testosterone HRT next week, among everything else. Yes, they’ve also put them on psych meds, but I can’t help but be horrified by the decision. This is someone who is clearly not in their right mind right now, believe me. I had to end the friendship. I feel horribly guilty, but I’ve only ever seen mental health symptoms like that worsen on HRT, especially testosterone HRT. I could not bring myself to stay and deal with what will happen. Just the thought gave me a pretty gnarly panic attack.

I don’t know. I’m a huge believer in self-autonomy, sane people should be able to do and take what they’d like. This person is far from sane, though. They think the government is spiking tap water, that they’re being watched, ect.

It’s honestly really tragic.

Yes. I used to desperately crave every kind of trans-related surgery you can get. For about 5 years.

These days, I look at my mostly unaltered body and feel grateful and comfortable that it’s the way it is. I wouldn’t say I’m 100% okay with my body yet, BUT that is simply due to the fact I am quite overweight… Which is thankfully much easier to fix than gender dysphoria. I now firmly feel like I never want any kind of cosmetic procedure, other than my ongoing (and successful) laser hair removal treatments for getting rid of the extra body hair HRT caused.

I don’t really have a simple, easy answer in regard to how I did it, though, unfortunately. I started by making myself rethink everything I knew about gender, but I had to be ready, and I’m not actually sure how I got there. I kinda just woke up one day and thought, wow, I’m really fucking done with this transitioning shit.

If you have any questions though, I’d be happy to try answer. I guess my point mostly is that it is possible dysphoria can go away.

I still wear men’s shirts; I find women’s shirts to be more often than not ridiculously clingy (I have sensory issues) and too low cut for my liking. Love my baggy men’s shirts, lol. I also still love to wear men’s hoodies, for the comfy factor.

I changed all my pants. I don’t wear jeans, so I have women’s sweatpants, shorts and leggings. I never really liked skirts.

DRESSES! I’ve been collecting them ever since I started detrans. I love dresses so much. I’m usually wearing a dress or pyjamas depending on where I am located.

I donated all the men’s clothes I didn’t want to charity shops. You could do that, or if you really need money for a new wardrobe, you could try selling whatever is in good condition.

For me, I just personally happen to like all the "typical feminine" things that I abandoned for transition. I feel like I was pressured by others to abandon those things in order to fit in. At the end of the day, I’ve always loved long hair, "feminine" clothes, make up, etc. It’s about reclaiming that, not putting myself into another box. You can say clothes don’t have a gender and such all you like, and while I agree with you, that’s not how most things are by design nor is it how 99% of the world sees it.

That’s just my experience though :)

I de-transitioned without explanation but it wasn’t that hard for me because I’m an antisocial recluse with no social media

I only really talk to my parents and they’ve almost entirely checked out when it comes to my well-being and life so I just started dressing and presenting as a girl / woman again without any further explanation

My mother asked why when she noticed, I said I no longer feel as if I’m a man. No further questions or comments.

My father said nothing

It hasn’t been spoken of again, but they silently switched back to referring me as a girl / woman, she / her, their daughter, etc.

I think it just depends on who you are and aren’t surrounded by

Best of luck

It’s all apart of the core issue though. This person is just trying to cope with ruining her life. Some of those coping mechanisms might kinda suck. So what? Are you perfect? I’m sure they’re aware that they haven’t made the greatest decisions. This is a support group, not a lecture group. Be kinder. Be less judgemental.

Most of these are pretty defendable.

Fixing stretched ears: Although this has nothing to do with gender, if fixing her ears made OP feel just a little more confident in her appearance, why not? Feeling as good about yourself as possible is important.

The underwear: I bought a bunch of high quality women’s underwear when I first detransitioned that ended up not fitting right after a year or so because I simply had no idea my body would change back that much. Easy mistake to make. Detransitioning is largely unknown territory.

The weed: Probably the least defendable of the bunch, but you’re still being too harsh. Sure, nobody held them at gunpoint and told them to get high everyday, but I’m sure they’re just trying to cope with what probably feels like a life ruining decision. There’s a chance they may even have a dependency / addiction, who knows; and honestly, that is almost like being held at gunpoint by your brain to get high.

One thing that helped me is that everyone’s voice changes as they age regardless. I found old recordings of my mother’s voice when she was younger and she sounded more "typically” feminine. Mourn your old voice (I know I sure mourn mine) but know that it probably wasn’t gonna stay the same anyways. HRT just might’ve changed it faster than it originally would have on its own.

I never felt addicted to it, I couldn’t wait to quit that shit by the time I did so, but I would say yes it has the possibility of being addictive.

It’s much harder to get testosterone than estrogen without a prescription because it’s considered a performance enhancing substance, for starters.

I get what you mean but hair can mean a lot to a person in various personal ways. I’ve spent years carefully looking after mine to get it as long and healthy as it is now. It’s my favourite thing about myself and I always get a boost of self esteem when I see it in the mirror.

I mean, I hear what you’re saying, and I don’t entirely disagree, but try telling that to my mother who is currently losing hair by the handful, or to my grandfather (on my father’s side) who still has a full head of thick (grey) hair. Hair or lack of it isn’t totally sex/gender exclusive. Hair loss is just more common in males. Plenty of males use hair loss treatments. There’s entire communities dedicated to treating male pattern baldness. Some men choose to embrace it, some don’t. I don’t think either way is wrong. Embracing it is probably the healthiest option but some people probably just don’t want to look at that every time they see themselves.