This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister. The comments display:
- Highly specific, personal medical and surgical details.
- Consistent emotional themes of regret, grief, and acceptance.
- A clear, sustained personal narrative across several months.
- Offering practical, nuanced advice that aligns with the complex experiences discussed in the detrans community.
About me
I'm a feminine gay man who transitioned because I struggled with self-acceptance and internalized homophobia, thinking it was the answer. I had multiple feminizing surgeries that left me with permanent scars, nerve damage, and infertility. I deeply regret the loss of my sexual function and the irreversible changes to my body. I've since detransitioned and am learning to embrace being a man with the support of my family. I now know that true peace comes from self-love, not from changing your body.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started from a place of deep discomfort, but not with my body at first. I was a gay man who never really fit in. I felt different and struggled with low self-esteem. Looking back, I think a lot of my desire to transition came from internalized homophobia. I couldn't see a happy future for myself as a gay man, and I was influenced by what I saw online, which made transitioning seem like the answer to all my problems. It felt like an escape from having to deal with being a feminine, bisexual man.
I socially transitioned and then went on to take hormones and have several surgeries. I had a hairline advancement, which left me with a permanent itchy scar and an unnatural hairline. I had my orbital rims shaved down, and now I have a permanent metal plate between my brows that sometimes itches, and my face just looks off. I had a rhinoplasty to make my nose more feminine, which is uncomfortable, and a lip lift that left a small scar. I also had a tracheal shave.
I thought all of this would make everything okay, but it didn't. It was the worst mistake I ever made. Medical transition doesn't solve the underlying issues. For me, those issues were about self-acceptance. I needed to learn to love and appreciate the cross-dressing bisexual man I was. That was the real answer.
Now that I have detransitioned, I have a lot of regrets. I regret the surgeries because of the permanent damage and scars they left. I deeply regret losing my sexual function. Before transitioning, I had a perfect sex life for ten years, and then, in a flash, it was gone forever. Saying goodbye to that part of my life was incredibly hard. I’m now infertile, which is a serious and permanent complication. I’m trying to regain my beard, but it’s a struggle. I use oils and rollers, but testosterone doesn't do much for the hair follicles once they're damaged. I’ve had to learn to accept my new face, though I sometimes think about getting brow bone implants to reverse some of the feminization, but I really want to avoid any more surgery.
My thoughts on gender now are that being a man or a woman is about so much more than your body. There's a whole world outside of ourselves. You can live a good life, accomplish things, help people, and love someone without changing your body. I’ve benefited from focusing on myself and my own growth. My dad and brother have been a huge support, helping me navigate being a man again. I’ve also learned to forgive others, especially those in the trans community who weren't supportive of my detransition. I think they dismiss people like me because we are living proof that their worldview isn't right for everyone.
If I could do it all over again, I would have worked on appreciating my femininity as a part of who I was as a man. I would have embraced the homosexual relationships I wanted instead of running from them. Transitioning, both socially and medically, doesn't make everything okay. The key is to accept yourself first.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| (Age not specified) | Began social transition. |
| (Age not specified) | Started taking hormones. |
| (Age not specified) | Underwent multiple feminizing surgeries (hairline, brow, nose, lips, trachea). |
| (Age not specified) | Detransitioned and stopped hormones. |
| Present Day | Living as a man again, dealing with surgical regrets and infertility, working on self-acceptance. |
Top Comments by /u/OFF-WORLDOBSERVER:
Being a man is so much more than what's between your legs or what's on your chest. You have so much opportunity to live a good life and do things that you enjoy, accomplish things, help people, teach someone something, make people happy, create something, enjoy something, love someone. There is a whole wide world outside our bodies. There is a time to grieve and there is a time to accept and embrace what lies ahead. Saying goodbye to sex was so hard for me. Working everyday in this body to afford to fix it is a ritual now. Prior to trans'ing I had perfect sexual experiences for ten years, then, in a flash, it disappeared forever. Transitioning was the worst mistake I ever made, but it will not defeat me.
I detransed, but if I could re-do it, I'd appreciate my feminity, my desire to xdress, experience the homosexual relationships I wanted, I'd love and appreciate and accept the xrossdressing bisexual male I was, because that was the answer I needed to accept. I would accept that medical or social transition would NOT make it all OK, because it doesn't.
There's so much going on here. Focus on yourself, and try not to blame others for their perceptions. You can distance from people you asses care less about you than you them. No one asks me about my detransition either, except for my immediate family (parents, brother). Are you really surprised the T community is not supportive and even dismissive? You are living proof they're wrong about their entire worldview. They have to dismiss you because acknowledging you would only dissolve the illusion veiling them.
Focus on yourself. Forgive others. Stick to your guns.
Hey Buddy, I am going through something very similar and have had similar feelings. I try to keep control over the emotions involved with my situation by focusing my effort and attention on improving my situation. I have hope my beard will return to some degree of completeness. For example, my "soul patch" is the most complete portion of beard. I use a beard growth regimen. I've grown to accept my new face, though I do consider brow bone implants, but would prefer to stay out from under the knife from now on. Good luck bud and if you want someone to vent to you can send me a chat.
Go ahead and get gyno removal surgery. Make sure you go to a doctor that removes the gland. The glad is the primary mass and no amount of lipo or other minimizing procedures will remove this tough tissue. You also do not need to be fully anesthetized for this procedure, which is better for your health, so don't accept work from a doctor who plans to do that. I understand your confusion, it's a shame we are afflicted with this strange homosexual illusion to become like women in that regard. You can live a satisfying life as any type of man you want, and synthesizing the female experience will not add enough value to your life to legitimize the negatives it includes.
Thank you so much for your supportive comments and assistance concerning S.A. and the mental roadblocks we have as victims. I am so grateful for you sharing your wining tactics with a complete stranger and I am even more happy your body was not damaged by this horrific process. Please take care of yourself.
Test will do many things but its effect on your hair follicles will be minimal, at best. Take some time to find a bear growth product (oil, roller, vitamins) and give it time. There are many cis men who never underwent anything we did and still have trouble growing a beard. You may have an easier time regaining your beard if you had a strong one prior to trans'ing.
Hey, I went through similar experiences. Fortunately, my Dad and Brother were eager to help navigate being a man. It can be any trusted woman/women, but try to find someone who you can openly express to how little you know about womanhood etc. Communication is key and loving people will work through these problems with you. Also Youtube has male and female role models you can siphon knowledge from. Y'know, the self-development types. Choose wisely who you learn from.
I had the hairline advancement (permanent itchy visible scar and unnatural hairline), orbital rim removal (permanent metal plate between brows, itchy left brow, unnatural structure), rhino (feminine, uncomfortable), and lip lift (small scar at nostril base), and finally the "trach shave." Did you do any of that?