This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake account.
The user's narrative is consistent, detailed, and emotionally nuanced. They describe a specific personal experience (ftmtf), including motivations for transition, the process of realization, the physical and emotional effects of hormones, and the social challenges of detransitioning. The advice given is complex, non-dogmatic, and reflects the kind of passionate, lived-experience perspective common in the community. The language is natural, with personal anecdotes and casual speech patterns ("lmaooo," "ur," "alot") that feel genuine.
About me
I started transitioning to male at 18 because I thought I’d be happier as a man, even though I was fine being a woman. I realize now it was more about my own insecurities and not feeling pretty enough, rather than a true need to change my gender. My family was worried but I stubbornly went on testosterone for a year and a half before hitting a wall and realizing I would never actually be male. I stopped hormones and, after an embarrassing period, came out as detransitioned. Now I’m living as a woman again and finally learning to embrace my femininity without the pressure of labels.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition is complicated, and I'm still figuring it out. I feel like this is the only place I can be fully honest about being ftmtf, because in my daily life and with most people online, I just let everyone assume I'm a cis woman. I'm too afraid of the backlash to tell them my real thoughts.
For me, it all started because I never actually had a problem with being a woman. I thought being a woman was fine and even fun. My thinking was, "I have no problem being a woman, but I’d be EVEN MORE happy being a man." That turned out to be completely wrong. I realize now you probably need to actively hate the gender you were born as to make such a big change, not just have a longing for the other one. I think a lot of my feelings came from my own insecurities. I wasn't a "pretty enough" woman, and I wanted to distance myself from that and be seen as "one of the guys." It was more about low self-esteem and body dysmorphia than true gender dysphoria.
I also think internalised homophobia played a part. I knew I was bisexual before I transitioned, but I identified as a gay man because, weirdly, I didn't like the idea of dating a woman as a woman. Now that I've detransitioned, I'm actually excited to explore dating women as a woman myself. I joke that maybe it was repressed heterophobia.
My family was liberal but not supportive of my transition. They kept telling me that trans people existed but that I wasn't one of them and that I was too young to be making these decisions. Instead of listening to them, it made me dig my heels in. My attitude was, "I’ll show you, you wanna question my gender identity? I’ll be the best goddamn man you’ve ever seen." It's devastating now to know that they were right, even if they went about it in entirely the wrong way. They should have been supportive but critical, and left the final decision to me. But at the end of the day, I did this to myself. I have to own that.
I was on testosterone for about a year and a half. At first, I was very happy. But then I hit a wall. I realized that hormones could never actually change my body into what I truly wanted. I was never going to be a biological man. I was just a man who hated his body instead of a woman who hated hers. The constant comparing myself to other men was exhausting. I was still weaker, my body was different, and sex was completely different and not in a good way. My sex drive on T was ridiculously high; orgasming felt like a chore, just a tiny rush and then nothing. Since stopping, my libido has calmed down a lot and the sensation is so much better, though it's not exactly like it was before.
Coming out as detransitioned was so embarrassing at first. The first week, I wanted to change my name, move to a new city, and block everyone. But it got less embarrassing with time. After about a month, I was able to make a post for all my friends and followers explaining everything. Everyone was understanding, if a little confused.
I don't regret transitioning in the sense that it was a path I had to go down to learn about myself. But if I could go back, I wouldn't have done it. That time is still a part of me, and I think if I had been born male, things might be different. But I wasn't. Detransitioning has let me re-explore my femininity, which I was too scared to embrace before. It’s helped me step away from the trap of labels and just focus on what makes me happy in my day-to-day life.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Started identifying as transgender and began socially transitioning to male. |
| 19 | Started testosterone. |
| 20 | After 1.5 years on T, realized I would never be happy with the changes and began to detransition. |
| 20 | Stopped taking testosterone. Came out to friends and family as detransitioning. |
| 20 | Began living again as a woman and re-exploring my femininity. |
Top Comments by /u/O_mall:
Ok, let me explain my experience with this:
I felt the same way on T. My sex drive was so high, orgasming became a chore, it was like a nice baby rush like taking a hit but that’s it. When I stopped T, I’ve been off about 3 months now, my sex drive went away extremely quickly. But when I did want to do stuff (still 1-2 times a week I’d say) it was a world of a difference. I too experienced the full body waves before starting T and I sadly can’t say it’s come back to that completely, but comparing my orgasms on T vs off is like night and day, they feel so much better now that I have some self control of my libido.
I genuinely can’t tell if you wrote this post in detrans only for the orgasms or if ur actually regretting ur entire transition, so sorry if my answers are pointed in one direction. but my advice regardless is stop hormones. At least for the time being, a few weeks only if your concerned about the affects. Just use that time to see the changes and let your body calm from the constant flood of testosterone, and decide where u want to go from there. If you still feel comfortable in your identity as a man, but you like the affects of not being on T more, then keep up like that. Being off hormones will not change whatever way you want to identify, the most important thing is that your happy. Sex is a massive part of most peoples lives, and it’s so important we’re doing whatever we can to make sure we’re comfortable and having a fulfilling experience.
I agree with what ur saying, but I think we can only put a little bit of the blame on parents. For instance my family was the exact opposite of yours, liberal but not supportive about my transition, constantly told me trans people existed but I wasn’t one of them and I was too young to be making decisions like this about myself, and I honestly think that helped push me to transition the same way your moms reaction did, just in a different way. Mine was more “I’ll show u, you wanna question my gender identity? I’ll be the best goddamn man you’ve ever seen” and now years later it’s devastating to know that they were right, but went about it the entirely wrong way. They should have been supportive, but critical of some things, leaving it at the end to me to make that informed decision. Because at the end of the day they didn’t do this to me, I did, I did this to myself, even if what they did could have unintentionally steered me more towards that wrong path
For me personally, it was that there was no point I was actually unhappy being a woman. Sure there were times when I thought I’d look attractive as a man, or wanted to distance myself from women and be seen as “one of the guys”, but it had everything to do with my own insecurities about not being seen as a woman, because I wasn’t a pretty enough one. I didn’t ever think of transitioning/trans until I had a bad b dysmorphia night, and after seeing a post about a trans man, jumped down the rabbit hole of thinking that’s the only logical reason why I hate my body. I was very happy in my transition until about 1 1/2 on hormones when I realized they could never change my body into what I’d want. So then I was just a man that hated his body instead of a woman who hated hers. Detransitioning helped alot. I got to re explore my femininity I was too scared in embrace before, and also just step away from the trap of labels and focusing purely on finding out what makes me happy in my day to day life
Because women are told to be feminine and not masculine? Also I feel like your just being mean, she of course did look masculine at one point in time in her profile which I’m sure took work and effort to get to, but now she’s putting In the same effort to look feminine again and doing a great job
I respect that my opinions in the transgender community are no longer welcome, therefore to everybody in my day to day life and regular online interactions I am cis. But here I feel like is the only place I can really identify under ftmtf, where my opinions might actually be heard/considered. So maybe in my head I’m not cis and I’m not trans, but I won’t let people know that in my life for fear of backlash
I would. I personally made a post to all my friends and family about 2 weeks ago. Everyone was understanding, maybe confused but. It’s really necessary I think for everyone to be updated on your identity. I personally deleted social media for about a week and recently went back on to see comments cause it was too overwhelming in the moment. Please make the post, u won’t regret it
Based on ur post
Biggest sign I see for you to transition: “I want to be the male version of me” that’s a good sign, I think a fair amount of people here detransitioned because they wanted to be somebody else entirely, but they mistook that for it being about their gender
Biggest sign I see for you not to transition: You seemed throughout your post to talk alot about all the things that men do that you were jealous of, but not too much about your body as a woman. Gender dysphoria is characterized by an active dislike of our own gender, not exactly an envy of the other
Please don’t take my advice 100% if it’s not right, just trying to put in my experience (ftmtf) since i haven’t heard this one said yet. My transition was “I have no problem being a woman, being a woman is fine and fun, but I’d be EVEN MORE happy being a man” which turned out not to be true. Not sure what ur experience is since u were super vague, but if it’s anything like what I said, please don’t transition. You need to actively hate the gender you were born as, not just have a longing to be the other one, imho at least, from someone that did detransition.
I think you probably already know this by the wording in your post, (I personally didn’t know this at the time I transitioned) but your still going to unfortunately face all these problems a woman’s body has given you even if you transition. You’d still unfortunately and most likely be less strong than all the cis men, even if your on testosterone for years. You would constantly compare yourself to men about how you may identify as one, but your body looks so different. You wouldn’t be able to have sex like men do, and it certainly won’t help with sensation.
You obviously are distressed, I think this is a really good time to start looking into a therapist. I don’t want to assume what your gender identity would be, if you decide u want to transition great, but it just seems like in your post you seem to dislike the fact that men can do what you can’t more than actually disliking your body as a woman as much in comparison
That’s crazy to hear the opposite side of this where you said u thought u couldn’t date a woman as another woman. I knew I was bisexual before I transitioned to male, but identified as gay because I didn’t like the idea of dating a woman as a man. Now that I’m a woman again I’m excited to date women too, I like to joke that maybe it was repressed heterophobia lmaooo