This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over time. They describe a complex, painful, and ongoing struggle with detransition, including family dynamics, medical challenges, and social alienation. The depth of personal history, including the back-and-forth nature of their journey and the very specific frustrations with healthcare providers and family, reflects the genuine experience of a desister/detransitioner. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with someone who has experienced significant harm.
About me
I was a masculine girl who felt pressured to become a trans man at 13, and I started testosterone without understanding the permanent consequences. The hormones ruined my mental health and didn't solve my underlying problems, only making me feel more lost. I've since stopped and know I am a woman, but the physical changes like my deep voice mean everyone sees me as a man. My family is unsupportive and keeps suggesting new labels instead of accepting me as a masculine female. I regret the choice I made as a child and now face the daily stress of living in a body that doesn't match who I know I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey started when I was really young. I always dressed in boys' clothes and felt different from other girls. I remember having my first crush on a girl in fifth grade. When I was 13, I came out as a butch lesbian first, but that didn't feel like enough. I felt a lot of pressure and discomfort, and I couldn't fit in. I think I was looking for an easy way out of being a masculine woman, which felt really hard. So I came out as a trans man.
I started testosterone when I was 13. I was so young, and I wasn't thinking about the health consequences at all. I just idealized becoming masculine and thought it would make me my "authentic self." I was told that if I didn't transition, I might kill myself, but the truth is, I wasn't suicidal before I started T. It was only after I started hormones that I developed serious suicidal and impulsive issues. I was hospitalized multiple times between the ages of 14 and 18.
I was on testosterone for over six years. It gave me a deep voice, facial hair, and other masculine features. I thought it was what I wanted, but it didn't solve my problems. I realized that dressing a certain way or taking hormones doesn't make you a man. I started to detransition around age 19, but it wasn't a straight line. I went back and forth a lot, even going back on T for a few weeks at one point. It was a huge struggle.
Detransitioning has been even harder than transitioning. I stopped testosterone because I knew it wasn't healthy for my female body and my mental health got better—I wasn't suicidal anymore. But the physical changes are permanent. My voice is deep, I have facial hair, and I still dress in men's clothes because that's what I'm comfortable in. I'm a masculine woman, a butch lesbian, but nobody sees me that way. Everyone who meets me thinks I'm a man. I don't use the women's restroom because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. It causes me a lot of stress every day.
I have a lot of regret about my transition. I feel dumb for not thinking it through when I was younger. I was influenced by the adults around me who saw my masculine clothes and suggested I might be trans instead of just a GNC girl. I miss the life I could have had if I’d never taken testosterone. I think if my mom had been alive—she passed away when I was nine—I might have had better guidance and felt more comfortable being a woman.
My family hasn't been supportive of my detransition. My dad still sees me as his son and tells me to act like a man "to not confuse people." He thinks if I just wear stud earrings, people will see I'm a woman, but I doubt it. My other family members suggest I might be non-binary or genderfluid because I don't dress femininely. It's frustrating because I know I'm a woman, an adult human female, and that doesn't have anything to do with how I dress or act. But their comments make it hard for me to feel sure of myself sometimes.
I've also struggled with doctors and therapists. My doctor is very pro-trans and took my detransition as just another transition, suggesting I might be genderfluid. My therapist does the same thing—she affirms whatever I say and doesn't challenge me. I just want someone who will help me work through my issues without pushing another identity on me.
I'm attracted to women, and I have been since I was a kid. I started noticing guys a couple of years ago, but I'm not sure if I'm into them or just want to look like them. My sexuality feels very visual, which I've heard is more common in men, but I think that might be because of the testosterone.
I know logically that I am a woman, but I struggle to feel like one because of how the world sees me. I don't feel like I have the right to call myself a woman because I don't look or sound like one. I'm working on my self-esteem and trying to accept that womanhood isn't about being feminine—it's about being female. But it's a long, hard road.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 9 | My mom passed away. |
| 13 | Came out as a butch lesbian, then quickly as a trans man. Started testosterone. |
| 14-18 | Hospitalized multiple times for suicide attempts and impulsive behavior. |
| 19 | First detransition attempt. Tried to dress femininely to pass as a woman but found it distressing and couldn’t keep it up. |
| 19-22 | Period of back-and-forth; sometimes using birth name, sometimes trans name. |
| 22 | Briefly went back on testosterone for 3 weeks. |
| 22 | Stopped T for good and committed to detransition. Legally changed name back to birth name. |
| 22 | Currently living as a detransitioned female but perceived by everyone as a man. |
Top Comments by /u/Oak_Tree22:
That makes sense. I stray from using words like "bigoted" due to it being just another word thrown around, kinda like "transphobic" these days.
I find alot of the reasons why people rationalize that they are the opposite sex has to do with stereotypes of the opposite sex that they fit, or they feel they don't fit into their own sex. Then if they dont fit into both, or do into both - they might be non-binary!
A personal example, when I first came out as a trans man, I transitioned partly because I had been a GNC person since I was a young child. Reasons like that and that I couldn't fit in with the girls + was same sex attracted made me think that I was a trans man and not just a masculine/butch woman. Thinking back on it, dressing a certain way doesn't make me a man. Never will. Even the intense discomfort that I feel around women's clothing and not relating to women, doesn't make me a man. It just makes me a woman that is uncomfortable with the clothing typically made for women, and one that feels mentally alienated from other women. I relate to guys in a social way, I can not *ever* in a physical way.
I will not ever know what it is like to have male genitalia just like how a male cannot ever know what it is like to have periods. I dread and hate my periods, but I don't think any women loves her periods...me hating my periods and even parts of my body doesn't make me trans. It just makes me a woman that has alot of discomfort around her body. Things many women besides me deal with and have throughout all of history. I'll learn to live with it. I wear men's clothes to alleviate the discomfort I feel around dressing feminine, but not because I think I am a man. I still unfortunately pass as male (was on T for 6+ years) but that doesn't make me a male. Hormone therapy doesn't change your sex.
I do think a lot of trans people base their identity around their perception of the opposite sex and not around the actual reality of the opposite sex.
I had the same issue, my Oma was upset that I was detransitioning and at one point asked if she could still call me by my ftm name. I said no.
Stand your ground! I am glad that you are happy to accepting that your female, since you have always been female - can't go back to your birth sex :)
This has been my only space where transitioning OR identifying as something other than your birth sex isn't pushed. I don't identify with non-binary people because I see it as like a rejection of sex, and not real. For me, I just say I am a masculine woman.
While I agree with the message. Being a detrans masculine woman I feel has made my life harder. Despite the fact that I have a neutral relationship with my body, I am having to live as a man because that's how I am perceived in society. It causes significant stress.
Surprisingly I was not sucidial before I began transition. I definitely had depression and alot of anxiety but didn't feel sucidial. The doctors warned my dad though (when I was 13) that if he didn't let me transition I would kill myself.
It was only after I started T that I had major sucidial issues/impulsive issues. I was probably hospitalized 4+ times from the age of 14-18 years old. Once I got off T, even though I still had depression, I didn't feel sucidial. So I leveled out.
If we are going by the strict definitions of the words, no. A man is a "adult human male" and a woman is a "adult human female". So a woman can not become a male as a male cannot become a female. Hormones will not change someone's sex, and neither will surgery. A woman can *live like a man* and *appear like a man*, but cannot be one. Same goes for men. I don't think people are born in the wrong body....how would we know? Is this limited to just humans? Can animals be born in the wrong body too? There is no objective way to tell that someone is born in the wrong body. Feelings aren't reliable because people can also think their to fat and then develop an eating disorder. Both this and gender dysphoria causes distress so why do we treat one but enable the other?
I see transsexuals who are happy and fearless even older people who have been on hormones all their lives.
There are detransitioned people that are "older", and many of us used to be happy and fearless transgender/transsexuals too! There's nothing wrong with us.
The medical side of transitioning is always inherently bad. There's no way around that. Female bodies are not designed to have male-levels of testosterone in them, and male bodies are not designed to have female-levels of estrogen in them. Regardless of how the hormones make you feel. They have health consequences. Not to mention puberty blockers.
Surgery is always inherently bad in terms of the fact that the surgery isn't medically necessary, it's cosmetic. Then there are the medical complications that can and do happen.
These aspects of transition can not be healthy, they do not benefit your body and cause it more harm then good. The social/emotional aspect is up for you to decide, but that hasn't been shown to be promising either.
I feel like my time on testosterone has stopped me from being able to "just be". If I had never been on Testosterone I would be able to pass, even if just some of the time. The reality is, having a deep voice while wearing men's clothes and having masculine short hair is going to make others see me as male. This makes me have to be conscious of the fact that I am not perceived to be female, and have to adjust my behavior to reflect that despite my personal feelings on it.
I don't use the women's restroom because I know it would make them uncomfortable. And I don't want to do that. Then the other social aspects that being perceived as male influences. It complicated life and I get to be reminded of this everyday.
This is what I have been finding out. Others won't take my detransition seriously unless I make a "visible" effort to detransition and look like a woman. I haven't changed how I dress/short hair from when I was trans, just because I like the style and feel comfortable that way....but others apparently think that if I do that I must still be a man or trans...