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Reddit user /u/OceanCommunication's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 24 -> Detransitioned: 30
male
low self-esteem
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
depression
influenced online
serious health complications
started as non-binary
anxiety
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.

The comments demonstrate:

  • A consistent, personal narrative of being an AMAB desister/detransitioner.
  • Emotional depth, personal reflection, and supportive engagement with others.
  • A nuanced understanding of transition/detransition topics, including specific medications and their effects.

About me

I was born male and my transition began as an attempt to escape deep discomfort and low self-esteem. I took hormones and a strong blocker for years, which caused serious health problems and a lot of mental fog. I realized I was trying to fix a mental problem with a physical solution, so I stopped the medications. I'm now detransitioning and my body is healing, which has brought me immense physical relief. I've found peace in accepting that my real issues were never about gender, and I'm finally learning to just be myself.

My detransition story

My name isn't important, but my story is. I was born male and my transition journey started a long time ago, rooted in a deep discomfort that I didn't understand. For me, a lot of it was about escapism. I felt like I was chasing something, trying to become someone else to escape the person I was. I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, and I think I was heavily influenced by what I saw online. The idea of being another gender felt like a solution.

I started by identifying as non-binary, which felt like a safer first step, but it quickly escalated. I began taking hormones—estrogen and finasteride—and eventually a stronger testosterone blocker called leuprorelin. I was on that for the last two to three years of my medical transition.

The physical changes were significant, but the mental fog and the physical side effects became too much. I experienced serious health complications, specifically with genital function. It was painful and uncomfortable, and it was a major wake-up call for me. I realized I was trying to fix a mental problem with a physical solution.

I’m now in the process of detransitioning. The difference for me was huge just by stopping the testosterone blockers. I’m still on estrogen but will stop that soon, too. Just being without the lupron has made a ton of difference. The pain and discomfort down there are completely gone. The ejaculation isn't what it was before, but it doesn't hurt anymore. I suspect that once I stop the estrogen, things will continue to return to normal. My personal experience is that our bodies are very resilient once you start to be kind to them again and let them do their thing.

Looking back, I don't think my issues were ever truly about gender. I think they stemmed from other places: depression, a desire to escape myself, and trouble relating to others. I had this idea that it was "easier for girls" and that relationships were some weird game of chaser and resister. I've come to realize that's not true at all. A healthy relationship forms between people who have an attraction to each other, plain and simple. We're all just human, and we can all talk to and love each other.

I don't regret my journey because it led me to these realizations, but I do regret the permanent changes I made to my body and the time I lost. I've found a lot of peace in simple things, like taking long walks in nature. It’s not a quick fix, but it helps process big things. It reminds me that I'm a part of something bigger.

My thoughts on gender now are that it's a very personal and complex thing, but for me, it was a distraction from the real work I needed to do on myself. I'm learning to just be me.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
24 Began identifying as non-binary, influenced by online communities.
25 Started taking estrogen and finasteride.
27 Began taking the testosterone blocker leuprorelin.
30 Experienced serious health complications (genital pain and dysfunction).
30 Stopped testosterone blockers; pain and discomfort resolved.
30 Began the process of detransitioning, stopping all medication.

Top Comments by /u/OceanCommunication:

6 comments • Posting since August 2, 2020
Reddit user OceanCommunication (self-questioning) discusses potential reasons for the higher visibility of FTM detransitioners, including biological permanence of testosterone and possible differences in how MTF individuals process emotions.
10 pointsAug 20, 2020
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I agree that a surge in FTM might be a big reason why. Although I think autogynephilia are probably equally as common as autoandrophilia.

Another thought I had was: Maybe the MTF and FTM detransition rates are similar irl, but because T generally changes a female body more than E does to a male body, maybe FTM detransitioners have a harder time “going back” and thus a greater need to process in spaces like this? However, theoretically there really shouldn’t be that big of a difference because transition and then detransition are big things that takes a mental toll on everyone so both MTF and FTM SHOULD have a need to process. Could it be that some MTF, because of growing up male or some other reason never really learned to express and process their feelings in a good way, and hence avoid spaces like this subreddit to a larger degree. All of the above is just speculation, I have no clue

Reddit user OceanCommunication (medically desisted male) explains how stopping testosterone blockers resolved genital pain and discomfort during detransition, and shares optimism for a full return of function.
9 pointsMar 6, 2021
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I was on E and finasteride for a similar amount of time, and additionally also leuprorelin for the last 2-3 years. I’m in the process of detransitioning right now and I can tell you the difference for me was huge just by stopping the T-blockers. I’m still on estrogen (but will stop that too soon) but just being without Lupron has made a ton of difference in regards to genital function. No pain or discomfort down there anymore. The ejaculation is not at all what it was previously though (but it doesn’t hurt). I suspect that once I stop E the ejaculation will also go back to normal though. Don’t have anything scientific to back that claim up, but my personal experience is that most things seem very resilient once you actually start to be kind to your body again and let it do it’s things

Reddit user OceanCommunication (self-questioning) discusses dream interpretation, suggesting violent dreams may represent internalized anger and analyzing the meaning of being caught or escaping in chase dreams.
5 pointsAug 12, 2020
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Dreams are so interesting! Could the violence also represent anger maybe? Like I’m thinking either that anger is present in the waking life somewhere or that anger is internalised and want to come out in some way...

About the chasing dreams, I also have a lot of those. I find that it’s kind of fun to pay attention to wether or not I escape what’s chasing me or if I get trapped by what’s chasing me. I think there’s some different meaning between those two kinds of dreams but I haven’t figured out what yet..

Reddit user OceanCommunication (self-questioning) explains how spending time in nature, while not a quick fix, is an incredibly healing way to process big feelings over time.
4 pointsAug 12, 2020
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I absolutely second the NATURE thing. It may seem trivial and small to such big feelings we sometimes get, but nature is also both incredibly small and incredibly large as much as it is also incredibly healing. I love taking a long walk in nature and feel the things that need to be felt. And then have a good meal afterwards. It’s not a quick fix but doing so on a few days over several weeks time hopefully helps process big things.

Reddit user OceanCommunication (self-questioning) discusses the misconception that relationships are easy for women, arguing that healthy connections form from mutual attraction and shared humanity.
3 pointsAug 18, 2020
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I’m really not one to talk considering I’m also amab, but if I can just express what I think then it would be that: it’s actually not “so easy for girls”. The whole notion of relationships as something where one is the chaser and the other is the resister is kinda weird I think. A healthy relationship forms between people who have an attraction towards each other, that’s it -and there exists a million ways that that attraction can form and grow.

Also, neither women nor men are some mystical alien species. We’re all human, we can all talk to each other, we can all be friends with each other and we can all love each other. Turns out, many of us across genders both directions can even relate about a lot of stuff. I say all of this with the best and loving intention that I have. Take care

Reddit user OceanCommunication (self-questioning) comments on a detransitioner's post, relating to their experience with a "freaky falsetto" voice and offering reassurance that they are not alone and will be okay.
3 pointsAug 2, 2020
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Hi, I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. I can relate to a lot of your story, and I even did that “freaky falsetto” thing (lol -good description) as well, for like a year. Also, if you’ve come this far as to make all the realisations that you have - then I think you’re going to be just fine :) just give yourself time and don’t stress any decisions.