This story is from the comments by /u/OkAd3631 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's comments show a consistent, detailed, and emotionally nuanced personal narrative of being FTMTF, including specific medical details (7 years on T, top surgery, laser hair removal), psychological reflections, and a clear timeline of their detransition journey over several years. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the genuine trauma and strong feelings many detransitioners experience. The account does not exhibit the repetitive, shallow, or scripted patterns typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I grew up in a strict religious home where being a woman felt like a set of horrible constraints, so I transitioned to male for seven years to escape. I later realized I didn't want to be a man; I just wanted to be free from those stereotypes, so I stopped testosterone. The detransition process caused serious health issues I was never warned about, like liver damage, and reversing the physical changes has been a long, expensive struggle. Now, I am healing and finding peace by finally recognizing my own face and body in the mirror, just as myself. While I have regrets, I am focused on my future and am grateful for my wife's unwavering support through it all.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started long before I ever took a hormone. I was raised in a very strict Southern Baptist home. My mother was a covert narcissist and she forced me to go to church three times a week. I was taught that women had to be subservient to men, and my primary female role model was someone who targeted me for not fitting into her vision. I grew up with a lot of internalized ideas about what it meant to be a woman, and none of them felt good or right to me.
I never felt comfortable with the changes of female puberty. I hated developing breasts and I felt a deep discomfort with my body that I now recognize as dysphoria. At the time, I didn't have the words for it. I just knew I didn't want to be seen as a woman. I thought the only way to escape that feeling and the expectations placed on me was to become a man. I believed that if I could just be male, I could be strong, solve problems, and build the life I wanted without the constraints I felt were tied to being female.
I started testosterone at age 25. I lived as a trans man, stealth, for seven years. I got top surgery and had my breasts removed. For a long time, I thought this was the solution. Testosterone actually made me feel less irritable; it quieted a lot of my internal struggles. I never had issues with aggression or sexual function on T. My libido was fine. I thought I had found my answer.
But after seven years, around the time I was 32, I began to realize that living as a man wasn't the ultimate peace I thought it would be. I became deeply exhausted from trying to be someone I wasn't. What I had really wanted all along, I came to understand, was not to be a man, but to have a right male partner—to have those qualities in my life, not emanating from me. I started to question everything.
I decided to stop testosterone and begin detransitioning. This is when some serious health complications emerged that I was never warned about. I started seeing a naturopathic doctor to help me through the process. Blood tests revealed I had extremely low cortisol and a fatty liver. My doctor explained that the liver processes all hormones, and she believed the testosterone had caused the fatty liver. As my body tried to recover and produce its own hormones again, my liver couldn't handle the load. I had pain below my right rib. I had to use finasteride to help with hair loss when I tried to taper off T, and eventually I had to stop altogether.
I treated these issues holistically. I already ate a whole food, plant-based diet, but I started taking supplements like taurine, DIM, and silymarin. I did yoga. When my liver was still struggling, I started juicing fresh beets every morning. It made me feel terrible initially, but it helped the pain. It was a shocking and difficult process. The only side effects I'd ever been warned about were high blood pressure and cholesterol, which weren't an issue for me. Nobody ever mentioned my liver could be damaged.
Stopping testosterone after seven years was a physical rollercoaster. A week in, I was in a hypohormonal state. After three weeks, I noticed some changes, like my clitoris shrinking a little, but it stayed close to the size it was on T. My libido dropped due to the lack of sex hormones. The process of reversing the physical changes has been long and expensive. I started laser hair removal on my face in June 2021. They told me it could take up to 18 sessions, one per month, to get rid of the dark hair, and then I’d need electrolysis for the lighter hairs. It’s been a slow process, and over a year later, I still have dark hair on my mustache and chin. I use a Norelco One Blade for a close shave without irritation. I can't afford to do my body hair yet, so I’m just focusing on my face.
Emotionally, detransitioning has been about rediscovering myself. I’m 33 now. I started trying on eye makeup for the first time in almost eight years. I’m slowly changing my clothing style, but I still don't feel comfortable in super feminine clothes. The most important shift has been in how I see myself. I began to feel beautiful again when I started recognizing myself in the mirror—my own face, my own body's contours. It wasn't about looking like a man or a woman; it was about seeing me.
I also had to confront my past and heal from the religious trauma and the false ideas about gender that were ingrained in me. I abandoned organized religion and found my own spirituality, which has been much more helpful. I cured the rest of my dysphoria by noticing real women I esteemed—not celebrities, but everyday women—and seeing them thrive in their female bodies. It made me realize, "Oh, that's not so bad. That doesn't look as horrifying as I thought it did."
I do have regrets. I regret having top surgery. I would like to have a baby now, but I can't breastfeed because I had my breasts removed. That is a deep sadness for me. But I don't dwell on regret. I accept where I am. My identity isn't a fixed label anymore; it's just me being. I fill the void left by my old identity by dedicating my energy to my present life and the opportunities in front of me.
I don't think I wasn't a "real" trans person. I met all the criteria from childhood onward. I just realized that to achieve true peace, I had to return to my natural form. My thoughts on gender now are that the constructs are empowering but make poor identities. Life is fluid, and the only constant is change. I'm mostly just over the distinction between gender and sex. I don't think about it much unless someone in society misgenders me (they usually read me as male). It’s a lonely experience sometimes, but I’ve found a few open-minded friends who are willing to listen.
My wife, who is a cis woman, has been incredibly supportive through all of this. She supports pretty much anything I want to do. This journey has been long, and it's not over. I'm still getting rid of facial hair, I have no breasts, and I’m navigating what my future looks like now. But I am at peace. I see myself, and I am beautiful.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 25 | Started testosterone (T) and began living as a man. |
| 25 | Had top surgery (breast removal). |
| 32 | Stopped testosterone after 7 years. Began laser hair removal on face. |
| 33 | Currently detransitioning, off T for about a year. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/OkAd3631:
Tell them that you know who you are, and you'd like them to LISTEN to what you say you are and not project their own ideas onto you. You know yourself. You trust yourself. Ask them to respect who you say you are.
And if they can't, just recognize that they're disrespecting you and act accordingly.
I realized that a trans man who is "actually trans" is someone who will be happiest living the rest of their life as a trans man. I, on the other hand, after 7 years of living as a trans man, realized I had to return to my natural form to achieve true peace and happiness.
To me, that's the only difference. I met every "criteria" of a transgender person from childhood on through my transition. I don't believe that I detransitioned because I wasn't a "real" transgender person.
I think applying an external definition of who/what is "actually trans" might be useful for perspective, but it should only be secondary to how you feel inside. All that matters is you - your feelings about your journey. The constructs of trans, non-binary, etc are empowering, but they aren't good as identities (if identities are meant to be permanent or semi-permanent). Every life is fluid. A wise man once said "the only constant in life is change." That applies to gender exploration as much as anything else. Find the "actual person" who is picking up and discarding gender identities... Then identity labels won't seem so important. In fact they are inadequate and unimportant compared to who I actually am.
I hope that helps. Good luck. <3
I really enjoyed reading your story and how you recovered. I still have some work to do but my model will be inspired from yours. As for your question: How do I fill this hole? I have had some fairly drastic life changes in my years, and I've finally learned to fill the void from an identity that's no longer present simply by embracing my present life situation. The hole is filled if I just make the conscious choice to dedicate my energy to the opportunities present in my current life. My identity is my being, and it manifests as my being engages with my present life.
You can unapologetically share your history of transition and detransition. And if people want to know more, they'll ask you. You can't control their outcomes, but your existence can be a lifeline to them if you want it to be. And if they choose not to grab the lifeline, you have to be able to accept that. Free will matters. There are only two choices: heal or suffer. Let people make their choice today and every day, whatever it is. Maybe their path will someday lead to healing. Accept that you will never understand someone else's path.
I'm a detrans female. I would like to have a baby now but I haven't because I had my breasts removed. I would hate to see another person go down that path, but all I would say to them is what I just said in the first two sentences of this paragraph. If they are interested they'll talk to you more. If not, let them be.
You create your future. There's no need to feel concerned about other people or "the way the world is going." You can always find a way to do what you want if you try. Much love sis.
I think I wanted to be a guy too. Wanted to be muscular, physically strong, solve problems, build my dreams. By 30, I was deeply exhausted inside from trying to be the man (that I wasn't) when what I really wanted all along was the right male partner. The thought path you're describing sounds a lot like me, but I had far less self awareness than you. Kudos to you for recognizing where some of this might be coming from. Observation and awareness will always serve you well in all aspects life.
I began hrt at age 25, had top surgery, lived as a stealth trans man for 7 years. I'm now 33, off T for a year, still getting rid of facial hair, haven't even begun on the body hair, and I got no boobs. I don't see myself having a male partner in the near future. I accept where I am without regret, but I'm sharing with you, this is where I am now.
I agree with the other commenter. Do some other things, find what feels good. Approach life as experimental... Probably avoid permanently changing your body.
Here's a video about lobsters that I think is relevant. Even if it's painful and uncomfortable, don't worry about it too much, it's just the time you're growing. 🦞
https://youtu.be/dcUAIpZrwog
I am sending lots of love to you. What you shared was powerful.
Once I started recognizing myself in the face I see in the mirror again, and recognizing my contours of my body when I look at it... that's when I felt beautiful again. Looking like a man or women has nothing to do with it. I see me, and I am beautiful. I'm so relieved to see me.
I like the last paragraph: "Most of all, slow down. You may yet decide to make the change. But if you explore the world by inhabiting your body as it is, perhaps you’ll find that you love it more than you thought possible."
I also know I might not have listened to that when I was younger, because I felt I'd already "explored the world" in that body, obviously. However, I think if instead of taking that attitude, if I did change my attitude to one of exploration, perhaps things would've been different. Of course, supportive adults would've been helpful. My parents, mother especially, are and were absolutely horrible. They ingrained many false ideas about sex and gender in me from a young age. I didn't reach a stage of body positivity or exploration until I was years past 25, living as a trans man. Now I'm 33 and experiencing body positivity and exploration as a female for the first time ever.
There will never be a numerical age where someone is "old enough" to transition. It's highly variable based on how deeply and comprehensively they were wounded.
I think detransitioners generally have a much broader awareness of the meaning of sex and gender than cis or trans folks. Most cis and trans folks have pretty narrow programming around gender, and they project their ideas onto others. It's a lonely thing but I do have a handful of very open minded cis friends who love to hear my thoughts about sex/gender. Other people, I just meet them where they're at, but if they say something about me that I disagree with I tell them that I don't feel that way.
I think this example applies because only practicing Jehovahs Witnesses were studied. The study team didn't track down former Jehovahs Witnesses and ask if mass made them happier. It probably didn't since they don't go to mass anymore, but because they weren't at mass they didn't get counted. I think those of us who leave the transgender healthcare system will remain underrepresented for a few more years yet.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. I had similar symptoms but less extreme. I'll tell my story since this line of issues might be more common than any of us thought, and maybe you'll get some tips out of it that could help with your issues.
I was on T for 7 years with apparently no problems. Early this year, I began seeing a naturopathic MD as my primary care physician and to help me through stopping testosterone and detransitioning. Through blood tests we discovered that 1. I have low cortisol and 2. I have a fatty liver. I also struggled with hair loss when trying to taper off T and had to use finasteride followed by a hard stop with T in order to preserve my hair. Anyway, the low cortisol was revealed first, in a blood test. My waking cortisol level was 5, extremely low according to my doctor. My liver numbers were normal on the first blood test, then after we'd begun treating my low cortisol with taurine and DIM and yoga, the second blood test revealed a major flare-up in my liver. My doctor said the liver processes all the hormones, so as my adrenals started to recover and produce more cortisol, more demand was placed on my liver, and I probably got a fatty liver from the testosterone, so it was struggling to process the increased adrenal hormones. At this point I was getting mild pain daily below my right rib. So I started taking silymarin for the liver, which unfortunately did not help. So I did some research. I eat a WFPB diet, which is basically the best diet to cure a fatty liver, however, I still had a fatty liver so obviously I needed to do something more. My great aunt healed her fatty liver (which her doctor told her was terminal) by drinking fresh beet juice every morning. I bought a juicer (managed to get a good one for $100), and yesterday I started drinking beet juice every morning on an empty stomach. I feel like absolute shit about 20 minutes after drinking the beet juice. But my liver hasn't hurt yesterday or today, so I think its working. I'm still taking silymarin, taurine, and DIM. I've been off T for 6 weeks now. So, yeah, I'm just going to keep up with the beet juice and other treatments I listed earlier, and I believe my body will heal.
It's pretty funny how the only potential side effects of T I was warned about were high blood pressure and high cholesterol. (I knew those wouldn't be an issue for me bc of my diet.) So it was a complete surprise to discover T gunked up my liver. Pretty important detail my doctors forgot to mention.. I wish you all the best in your healing journey. You can do it. Just give yourself time to feel all the stuff you're feeling.