This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user engages in nuanced, empathetic, and personalized advice that is consistent with a real detransitioner/desister's perspective. The language is natural, varied, and contextually appropriate for the subreddit. The passion and focus on harm caused by gender ideology align with genuine user experiences in that community.
About me
I started transitioning because I hated my body and the attention I got as a developing girl, and I thought becoming a man would fix my depression. I was so sure it was the answer that I took testosterone and had top surgery, feeling relief at first. That relief didn't last, and I soon realized I was still the same person with all the same problems. I now see I was just a woman who was uncomfortable with societal pressures and being sexualized, and I deeply regret my permanent changes. I am learning to accept myself as a masculine woman while mourning the fertility I lost.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I hated my body, especially going through puberty. I developed early and got a lot of unwanted attention for my breasts, which made me incredibly uncomfortable. I just wanted them gone. I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere and I was deeply depressed.
I spent a lot of time online, and that's where I first learned about being trans. It felt like an answer. I thought all my discomfort was because I was supposed to be a man. I started identifying as non-binary first, but that quickly shifted to wanting to fully transition. I think a lot of it was escapism; I thought becoming someone else would fix all my problems with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
I was so sure. I started testosterone and later got top surgery. For a little while after the surgery, I felt a huge sense of relief. I thought the problem was solved. But that feeling didn't last. After the initial high wore off, I realized I was still me, with all the same problems, but now I had a deep voice and a flat chest. I started to feel like I had made a massive mistake.
I began to question everything. I think a lot of my desire to transition came from internalized homophobia and a deep discomfort with being sexualized as a woman. I hated the societal pressure to look a certain way. I think I confused that hatred with being trans. I also wonder if my mental health struggles played a huge part; I wasn't in a good place to make such a permanent decision.
Now, I see that I am simply a woman who is more comfortable presenting in a masculine way. There is nothing wrong with that. A woman can have short hair, wear men's clothes, and have a flat chest and still be a woman. I regret my transition. I regret taking testosterone and having top surgery. I mourn the body I had and the ability to breastfeed if I ever have children. I am now infertile because of the hormones, and that is a very hard thing to live with.
My advice to anyone thinking about this is to stop thinking about gender altogether for a while. Focus on getting into a healthy frame of mind through other means: hobbies, good food, walking, therapy. You are you, no matter how you present. Make these big decisions from a place of health, not from a place of pain.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started puberty, began feeling intense discomfort with my developing breasts. |
| 16 | First began spending a lot of time online in trans communities, started identifying as non-binary. |
| 17 | Started identifying as a trans man and began seeking testosterone. |
| 18 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Had top surgery. |
| 23 | Realized I had made a mistake and began my detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/Ok_Bus8654:
I see that a month ago you felt the HRT was helping. Do you still feel that way?
Islam is one of the most intolerant ideologies when it comes to being gender non conforming. I feel you may be a gender non conforming man but based on your upbringing you believe that makes you a woman. It does not.
There is nothing wrong with being a gender non-conforming man. It takes radical acceptance to get to a stage where you are comfortable with that. I wish you the very best going forward.
The problem is that during that mindset you most likely would have launched into a tirade and began accusing that person of transphobia.
No one dares to say anything anymore and that is due to trans activists accusing every critical person of being an intolerant bigot.
I think you need to stop even thinking about gender at all.
I hate to give such generic advice but I think you are driving yourself mad thinking about this. Try doing hobbies you like, eat good food and walk for up to an hour a day.
You are you- no matter how you are presenting to the world. You need to get into a healthy frame of mind to make big decisions in life. I would suggest doing nothing in regards to gender at the moment.
You may simply be a woman who presents in a more masculine way. That is absolutely fine. A lot of woman are uncomfortable with our bodies - Especially in a society that sexualises it. There is so much pressure on women to look a certain way now. But it is all bullshit and I believe those bullshit standards is the reason we have so many women on T.
If you cut your tits off and had a gandalf beard you will still be a woman. Just with no tits and a beard. Are you okay with that?
I think it would be worth looking into therapy for body dismorphia to explore why those specific characteristics appeal to you.