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Reddit user /u/Ok_Dog_202's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 17 -> Detransitioned: 20
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
depression
influenced online
got top surgery
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally consistent, and reflects the complex, often alienating experience described by many genuine detransitioners and desisters. The comments demonstrate personal history, nuanced political conflict, and a clear, evolving perspective over time, which is difficult to fake convincingly.

About me

I started out as a young woman who felt deep discomfort with my body and puberty, which led me into online communities that convinced me I was trans. I took testosterone and had top surgery, but I later realized my feelings were more about self-hatred and other mental health struggles than a true identity. The community I was in felt like a cult that silenced anyone who questioned it, and they now treat people like me as liars or traitors. I’m at peace with my body now, but I feel politically homeless because speaking my truth alienates me from both sides. My experience shows we need honest conversations about transition, where stories like mine aren’t ignored.

My detransition story

My whole journey with this started because I felt completely out of place with my body and with being a woman. I hated my breasts and felt a deep discomfort with puberty that I couldn't explain. I was also struggling with really low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. I spent a lot of time online and fell into communities that encouraged me to see these feelings as proof I was trans.

I started identifying as non-binary first, around 2014. It felt like an escape from all the things I hated about myself. I was also deep into pro-ana and self-harm content online before that, and the gender stuff felt like a new, more acceptable way to cope with the same self-hatred. All my online friends had long lists of diagnoses in their profiles; it was just what everyone did. I was influenced heavily by what I saw and the people I talked to online. Looking back, it felt like a cult. You weren't allowed to question the narrative. If you did, you were punished or pushed out. They used their own language, and there was a lot of love-bombing to make you feel like you finally belonged somewhere.

I did end up taking testosterone and I got top surgery. For a while after my medical transition, I was still loudly supporting the movement. But then I slowly started to change my mind and detransitioned. I was silent about it for about six years. I realized that the trans community I had been a part of was built on pretending people like me don't exist. Our stories are inconvenient because they complicate the idea that transition is always the right answer and that no one ever regrets it. I heard my exact life story being told by people the community vilifies, and it was a huge wake-up call.

I don’t regret my transition in the sense that it got me to where I am now, and I’m at peace with my body and myself. But I have serious issues with how the community handles dissent. We’re treated like liars or traitors. They say we’re incredibly rare and that we only detransition because of internalized transphobia, not because of our actual lived experiences. It feels like the movement depends on our silence. I used to be very far left, and I still am on most issues, but I can't support an movement that refuses to acknowledge my reality. Now, I feel politically homeless. My left-wing family would think I'm a bigot for speaking up, and my right-wing family would say hateful things I want no part of.

On a personal level, my life is good now. I told my husband about my past, and he was completely accepting. He actually saw it as a positive, thinking my gender non-conformity meant I’d be more open-minded. I’ve dated other people who were fine with it too. I’ve benefited from therapy that wasn't just about affirming a trans identity, which helped me work through my other issues.

My thoughts on gender now are that it's incredibly complex. For some people, medical transition might be the right path, but for others, like me, it was a way to cope with other problems. I think we need to be able to have open, honest conversations about the risks and the reasons behind these feelings without anyone being called a bigot. The pressure to conform to one narrative is dangerous.

Age Event
14 Started experiencing intense puberty discomfort and hated my developing breasts. Struggled with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
17 (2014) Heavily influenced online; moved from pro-ana communities to identifying as non-binary.
18 Began taking testosterone.
19 Underwent top surgery.
20 Detransitioned and stopped testosterone.
20-26 Remained silent about my detransition experience.
27 Began speaking about my experience again after realizing my story was being ignored.

Top Comments by /u/Ok_Dog_202:

10 comments • Posting since March 17, 2024
Reddit user Ok_Dog_202 (desisted female) explains why the trans community acts like a cult, citing punishment for questioning, love bombing, and isolating members.
45 pointsMar 26, 2024
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You’re talking to a group of people who have experienced the worst that the cult has to offer, so you’re not going to get an unbiased answer here. But yes, in my experience, the community acts as a cult.

Questioning the narrative in any meaningful way is not allowed. People who leave the group or come up with their own way of thinking are punished. The group has its own language. Love bombing. Becoming dependent fully on others in the group (while other-ing yourself from the rest of the world).

Reddit user Ok_Dog_202 (desisted female) explains that detransitioners are often dismissed as liars or agents of Fox News because their existence undermines the narrative that medical transition regret is too rare to consider.
42 pointsMar 21, 2024
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They structured their narrative around us not existing. They didn’t have to, but they did because it means they can push to make medical treatments quicker to access. The fact that we exist, especially those who started medical transition and changed their minds, undermines their whole story. So we must all be liars or undercover transphobic agents of Fox News lol (but seriously if you search us on their sub they say we’re all lying because of how “rare” it is).

Reddit user Ok_Dog_202 (desisted female) explains how feeling silenced by the trans community led to a shift in their views, describing a sense of political isolation from both left and right-wing family members.
36 pointsMar 21, 2024
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The trans community treating us like we’re all liars will do that to you. We’re supposed to support their ideology and pretend like we’re the problem, and if we have any thoughts of our own (like, “maybe all these people on the internet who share my exact experience aren’t lying? And maybe we should be medicalizing perfectly healthy minors who have body image issues?”) we are bigots.

I’m really with you. I used to consider myself sooo far left. And I still am on most issues. But the LGBT movement is something very different than it was when I first became a part of it.

I used to be able to disagree with people or have challenging conversations. Now I can’t talk about this with anyone. My left wing family members would think I’m a bigot for disagreeing with the mainstream and my right wing family members would say some vile and hateful things that I can’t tolerate. This sub is one of the few places on the internet that makes any sense to me at all.

Reddit user Ok_Dog_202 (desisted female) discusses her positive dating experiences after desisting, explaining that her husband and ex-boyfriend were open-minded about her past and gender non-conformity, and encourages the OP to have confidence in finding an accepting partner.
19 pointsMar 22, 2024
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I told my husband about my past and he thought it was interesting. He actually seemed to think it was a positive, I think because my gender-non-conformity meant that I’d be more accepting if he didn’t conform to stereotypes. He never once looked at me funny because of it.

I also dated around in between when I desisted and before meeting my husband too and my ex didn’t have a problem with my past. He was kind of conservative too. I understand it’s not apples to apples since you went the medical route, but my point is, guys can be surprisingly open minded. If the guy you meet tomorrow isn’t, that’s okay. Keep trying and have confidence that you will find someone who is a good match. Because you absolutely will.

Reddit user Ok_Dog_202 (desisted female) explains how academic bias and flawed methodology in pro-transition research leads to an undercounting of detransitioners.
18 pointsMar 23, 2024
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Imagine what it’d be like to be a professor at a major university doing a study on transition outcomes. If the results conflicted with the narrative, could you even get the study published? Maybe, but the journal would have to be conservative-leaning. And if you are in a liberal specialty within academia, which is left leaning to begin with, that is a career-destroying move.

It’s easy to avoid tracking down patients who don’t respond. No one wants to be pushy, right? It’s also easy to advertise your study at queer community centers, where you’re naturally not going to find many detransitioners. Personally, as someone who left the community long ago, none of these liberal studies have found me. A conservative study did. I’m sure that one will be biased too. But at least it will have found actual detransitioners/desisters.

Reddit user Ok_Dog_202 (desisted female) comments on the overlap between pro-ana and trans online communities, recalling how in 2014, users often listed diagnoses alongside zodiac signs in their bios.
8 pointsApr 10, 2024
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We might as well have been mutuals. I was big into both as well. I saw and followed a ton of pro Ana “thinspo” / self harm content and then switched over to gender stuff in 2014. Everyone I was friends with on there had lists of things they were diagnosed with in their bios right alongside their interests and zodiac signs. Weird times.

Reddit user Ok_Dog_202 (desisted female) explains the alienation detransitioners feel in queer spaces, pointing out the hypocrisy of celebrating self-love except when it comes from detransitioning, and the community's tendency to ignore how consuming rage-bait contributes to poor mental health.
7 pointsMar 26, 2024
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So true! Being happy with who you are is their stated goal UNLESS your way of getting there is detransitioning and loving your natural sex/assigned gender.

And bad mental health is yet another thing to brag about. Like, I’m sorry, but if someone is consuming rage-bait all day and then tweeting about it incessantly, they’re going to have mental health issues. That pattern is so common in certain spaces, but if anyone acknowledges the elephant in the room, they are “so privileged they don’t have to pay attention.” Deflect, deflect, deflect.

Reddit user Ok_Dog_202 (desisted female) explains why detransitioners feel ostracized from the trans community, citing the demand for ideological conformity, the dismissal of their experiences as "internalized transphobia," and the high exit costs of leaving the group.
7 pointsMar 21, 2024
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Maybe we should, but we don’t. We are not part of the community unless we agree with the community on everything including the lie that we are rare and only changed our minds due to internalized transphobia. Of course they would interpret our varied opinions (based on personal experience) as transphobia. And group like this has high exit costs.

Reddit user Ok_Dog_202 (desisted female) comments on managing persistent gender dysphoria, advising against transition if it feels wrong but acknowledging it may not go away.
4 pointsMar 26, 2024
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27 years is a long time to feel that way. I don’t think those feelings are going to go away.

I don’t think most people here chose to detransition. Personally, I did what felt right. I don’t know how to make serious, lasting gender dysphoria like that go away without transition but you’re doing the right thing by exploring every option first. That said, if transition feels wrong in your gut, do not proceed with it.

Reddit user Ok_Dog_202 (desisted female) explains why she broke her silence, stating she will never support a movement that depends on her desperation after realizing only TERFs and conservatives acknowledged her detransition experience.
3 pointsMar 17, 2024
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YES! I was loudly in support of the movement post-detransition for a couple years. Then I was silent for 6 years. Then I realized that the only people who acknowledge my experience are TERFs and conservatives. I don’t like how disrespectful those groups are towards trans people and I don’t identify with them. But I will never support a movement that depends on my silence so desperately. It was certainly a wake up call when I heard the devil herself, Helen Joyce, telling my life story.