This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or not a real detransitioner/desister. The comments display:
- Personal, detailed medical and emotional experiences (specific timelines, drug names, physiological changes).
- Internal consistency across multiple comments.
- Nuanced and reflective opinions on complex topics like medicalization and identity.
- Appropriate emotional tone that aligns with the passion and personal stake a genuine desister would have.
About me
I was born female and transitioned to male for three years, thinking it was the answer. Severe vaginal atrophy from testosterone caused me constant pain and was my wake-up call to stop. After I quit, my body began to heal, but I'm left with permanent changes like a deep voice and facial hair. I've come to understand myself as a gender nonconforming woman, free from the pressure to perform a certain femininity. While I have some regrets, stopping was an incredible act of self-love, and I finally feel whole and at peace.
My detransition story
My name isn't important, but my story is. I was born female and I transitioned to male for about three years. I started taking testosterone and I thought it was the answer to my problems. I had been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and at the time, transitioning felt like the only path forward. The doctors I saw were just following the standard protocol, but I really believe that what I needed more than anything was deep, exploratory therapy to work on self-acceptance, not medication.
A huge reason I stopped testosterone was because of the severe health complications. I developed really bad vaginal atrophy. It got so bad that a nurse couldn't even perform a routine smear test because the tissue was so raw and damaged. I had tried topical progesterone, but it didn't help at all. The pain was awful and lasted for about nine months before I finally decided to stop T. The physical discomfort was a major wake-up call.
I stopped testosterone in late 2020. The changes after stopping were pretty quick in some ways. Within the first month, I started to feel very different emotionally, and the way my body smelled changed a lot. The daily pain from the atrophy stopped within about two months, which was a huge relief. My skin softened almost immediately. Over the first year, my body hair reduced, though I still have more than I did before T. My facial hair never went away, so I've been getting electrolysis to remove it permanently.
My period didn't come back until exactly one year after I stopped T. For several years after that, my cycles were very long and irregular, but they've finally settled down, though they're still a bit on the long side. I've never tried to get pregnant, but I seem to ovulate normally, so it might be possible.
Looking back, I feel a large part of my decision to transition was complex. I can relate to the idea of it being tied to early sexualization and a deep discomfort with that. When I was living as a man, after the initial excitement of the changes wore off, I felt very neutral. I wasn't any happier or less happy than I was before. It was only after I stopped T for medical reasons that I started to really explore my feelings. I began to feel a disconnect between my inner self and the male identity I was presenting. This exploration helped me embrace a social detransition. I didn't even change my name back until nearly a year after I was off testosterone.
Now, I understand myself as a gender nonconforming woman. I really struggled at the beginning of my detransition with how I was perceived and tried hard to look feminine to compensate, but that just made me feel worse. A big part of my healing was learning to embrace what feels good to me and leave the rest. I never wear makeup or dresses, my voice is still low, but I never get misgendered anymore. Letting go of the pressure to perform a certain kind of femininity was freeing.
I do have some regrets about transitioning, mainly the permanent changes like my voice and the facial hair I now have to remove. I also regret not questioning things more deeply from the start. However, stopping testosterone was one of the greatest acts of self-love I have ever done. I feel so much better now, more whole and at peace with myself as a woman who doesn't conform to stereotypes.
Age | Year | Event |
---|---|---|
- | Late 2017 | Started taking testosterone (T). |
- | Late 2020 | Stopped T due to severe vaginal atrophy and other health issues. |
- | 2021 | Period returned exactly one year after stopping T. |
- | 2021 | Changed my name back, completing my social detransition. |
- | 2025 (Present) | Almost 5 years post-T; cycles are regular but slightly long. |
Top Comments by /u/One_Classic_913:
I flip-flop on this one. I think medicalising something so nuanced can cause harm, but doesn’t always. I absolutely had gender dysphoria and was diagnosed accordingly. I believe that therapy and exploration would have benefited me far more than transitioning but I think the doctors I saw were doing the best they could with the information they are taught. I personally feel that adults should be free to make choices medically but this should be HEAVILY supported by talking therapy and work on self-acceptance. For those who genuinely feel so much happier living as another gender, I’m happy for them. I suspect however that many people who transition would be happier in the long term (and likely healthier) if they treated their dysphoria with therapy rather than medicalisation. But that’s not for me to decide, I’m one individual with my own experience.
This is really interesting! I can relate in that I feel a large part of my transition was due to early sexualisation. I detransitioned first for medical reasons, then began to realise I wouldn’t want to keep living under a trans identity. For the most part I felt ambivalent about being perceived as male when trans, after the initial excitement of changes I felt very neutral, no happier nor less happy than before. It was only through exploring my feelings much deeper did I feel a discongruence between my inner and outer selves, which helped me to embrace social detransition. I didn’t change my name back until nearly a year off T. Perhaps he might begin to feel differently as he lives longer off T? It may be that in time he begins to feminise physically, despite starting T early, which may influence his choice of how to present. It sounds to me like you’re doing everything you can as a loving partner to support him and embrace him where he’s at 🧡
No problem at all, glad I could help :) Yeah, my wife is so grateful for my lack of T smell now 😆 The change from atrophy to healed was far quicker than I would have expected! I’d had the awful pain for about 9 months before I stopped T and it stopped being painful daily within about 2 months off T! The ability to have anything internal is still limited but my last smear test was successful and a bit painful but not excruciating like before. I can even enjoy things there now which I never believed I’d experience! I wish you the absolute best in your journey, especially if you do decide to come off T. It was honestly one of the greatest acts of self love I have ever done 💛
I was FTM but similarly stopped hormones originally due to negative health effects that were apparently “more extreme” than they should have been 🙄 It didn’t take long for my identity to change alongside the physical changes, I feel so much better nowadays :) I hope you find peace with whatever you choose 🩷
Thank you so much for sharing with us 🧡 that took courage. First of all, I will explain that I’m not the kind of person you asked to reply in terms of length of time on T, nor have I tried to personally get pregnant. I thought I would answer anyway in case it helps! I was on T for three years and stopped in late 2020. At the time of stopping, I was on three monthly Nebido injections (I count my time stopped as when I was due my dose but didn’t take it). Within the first month I started to feel very differently emotionally. I also noticed (sorry if TMI) the way my body and bodily fluids smelled changed a lot. In the first six months, I started to notice my body hair reducing quite a bit, some of it disappearing entirely on my chest although now almost 5 years post stopping T I still have more body hair than I had before T. One of the reasons I originally stopped T (and questioned my transition altogether) was because I had been experiencing severe vaginal atrophy, so much that the nurse at my local doctors couldn’t even perform a smear test because the tissue was so raw and damaged. Topical progesterone hadn’t helped at all but over the first year after stopping T, I began to heal to the point where I could even consider using a tampon. My period didn’t return until exactly a year after stopping T, and it took several years of being very long and irregular cycles before it has finally settled (it’s still on the slightly long side but more regular). As mentioned, I have never tried to have a baby but I have all the symptoms of ovulation at the right time of my cycle so it’s possible that I could get pregnant. In terms of other changes, it took a few months for my face to soften, my skin softened almost immediately. My facial hair never reduced so I have been having electrolysis which works very well to remove it permanently. I hear what you were saying about androgyny and I think that’s a great attitude! I am a gender nonconforming woman. I really struggle struggled at the beginning of my transition with the way I was perceived and tried very hard to look as feminine as possible but it just made me feel worse. I highly recommend if you decide to stop T/male presenting that you embrace what feels good to you and leave the rest. After five years, I never get misgendered even though my voice is on the lower end and I never wear make-up/dresses/feminine clothing. I hope that helps ☺️