This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this user account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake account. The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and personal narrative of a desister (someone who considered medical transition but stopped). The details about specific timelines, physical changes, surgical considerations, and internal reasoning are complex and emotionally plausible, making them difficult to fabricate convincingly. The user's passion and critical perspective are consistent with genuine members of the detrans/desister community.
About me
I started transitioning at 19 because I felt uncomfortable with my life and thought becoming a man would fix everything. I was scheduled for top surgery, but I realized my problem wasn't with my female body itself, but with the gender ideas I had attached to it. I cancelled the surgery and stopped testosterone four months ago, terrified of making a permanent mistake. Now, I'm learning to accept being a woman again, and my mental health is in a much better place. I'm grateful I listened to my doubts before it was too late.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I was just really uncomfortable and wanted to escape from everything. I think a big part of why I transitioned was to run away from a kind of madness I felt in my life. I had this idea that becoming a man would fix things, but I’ve realized men don’t really have it much better.
I never had top surgery, but I was scheduled to get it in about six months. Everyone was supportive—my friends, my family, even the ones who were usually skeptical about transition. But deep down, I had this nagging feeling that I wasn't ready. I started to really think about my chest. I realized I didn't actually hate my breasts themselves. What I hated was that they weren't male. I had agonized over them because they were a sign I was female. When I tried to think about them without any gender ideas attached, they were just a part of my body that didn't make me miserable. So why would I go through a major surgery to remove them?
That’s when I started to panic. I was also planning on getting phalloplasty eventually, and the thought of going through with these surgeries and then regretting them terrified me. I started watching a lot of detransition videos online. I couldn't relate to all of it, but it made me seriously question my path. I decided to try accepting my birth sex again. I made a deal with myself: if I still felt I needed to be a man by the time I was 25, I could transition again. That was four months ago.
Since stopping testosterone, I’ve been trying to rewire my thinking, and it’s been surprisingly successful. I’m okay with presenting as a woman now, even though I still feel a bit uncomfortable with femininity and the idea of womanhood itself. Physically, some things have changed. My voice is deeper, which I’m actually comfortable with, but I might do some voice training so I don’t stick out too much. I’ve been able to retrain my singing voice, which is weird—I can sing like I used to, but I can't talk like I used to! My muscles have slimmed down, which is a shame because I wanted to keep them. I’ve heard body fat redistribution can start 3-6 months after stopping hormones, but for estrogen to take effect, it might take longer. My acne has gotten a bit worse since stopping T; I had none on it, but I’m hoping it will calm down.
Looking back, I understand my transition differently now. I think I had a kind of low self-esteem and was using transition as an escape. I also realize I didn't have the same obsession with being attractive back then as I seem to have now, which is something I’m figuring out.
I don’t regret exploring transition because it led me to where I am now, and I’m in a much better place mentally. I’m grateful I listened to that feeling that told me I wasn’t ready for surgery.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Started identifying as transgender and began taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Was scheduled for top surgery, but cancelled it after realizing my discomfort was with gender, not my body itself. Stopped taking testosterone. |
| 21 (4 months after stopping T) | Wrote this summary, currently living as a woman and working on self-acceptance. |
Top Comments by /u/OpeningVisible3743:
52k members on this sub doesn’t mean 52k detransitioners on this sub tbh. Wasn’t there a poll that showed most of the members were non-detrans cis ppl?
But yeah, I still think there’s prob gonna be way more detransitioners over the next years, just like there was an extreme surge in trans ppl all of a sudden, there will be an extreme surge in detrans ppl and it will even out imo
Definitely!! I also really understand now why I transitioned in the first place. I think part of the reason was to escape from this madness. But men don’t really have it much better lol.. but I still definitely didn’t have an obsession with being attractive as much as I seem to have now.
I was thinking about top surgery, which I was supposed to get in 6 months. My friends and family, even trans-critical ones, were all really supportive and I could still feel that I wasn’t ready for some reason. I realized I don’t hate my chest, I hated that it wasn’t male and that’s why I started to agonize over it. But without thinking about gender or sex, those boobs meant nothing to me and didn’t make me miserable. So why would I go through a surgery to remove them? I started watching a lot of detrans videos and even though I couldn’t really relate to them, i started freaking out about the possibility of going through the surgery (I was also planning on phallo) and regretting it. So I decided to try accepting my birth sex again, and compromised with myself that if I still need to be a man by 25, I can transition again. It’s been 4 months now and honestly its been really successful, I feel like I rewired my brain and I’m okay with presenting as a woman now, albeit a bit uncomfortable with femininity and womanhood.
I think your voice won’t exactly feminize if you don’t try to. Imo the women that say that it went higher again probably just started talking higher after detransitioning- and the vocal chords got used to that. I’m no expert though so i don’t know. I relate to you, my voice is also deep and I feel comfortable with it, but might voice train so that I don’t stick out.
I’m not sure much has changed for me, but it’s only been 4 months. Unfortunately my muscles seem to have slimmed down (I wanted to keep them..). I think body fat distribution can start like.. 3-6 months after stopping hormones? But for estrogen I heard it takes some time.
The third question is something you should ask your endocrinologist, if you have the chance.
Personally, my acne has gotten a bit worse (I had none on t). I’m guessing it will calm down soon enough.
Everything definitely depends on the person.
At first, definitely, but I was able to train it away. Weird thing is, I can sing like I used to, but I can’t talk like I used to 😂.
I don’t know if this will help you but the way I trained it away was:
Warm up: -Lip trills -Siren -stretches for the throat( you can look this up on Google)
Just going through different pitches Experimenting with opening the throat Experimenting with the positioning of the larynx Experimenting with vibrato Remembering how I used to sing, sing the songs I used to sing (tho this could be bad for your mental health if you’re sensitive, since it’ll directly show the difference. For me it was okay, since I knew it’s a matter of training it back) Putting more air into the throat(?? Don’t really know how to explain this) Remember to drink enough water, especially when you’re using your voice a lot