This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake persona.
The user provides highly specific, consistent, and personal medical details about their transition and detransition (specific surgeries, surgeons, medications, timelines, and physical/emotional effects). The language is nuanced, emotionally complex, and reflects the lived experience and internal conflict common among detransitioners. The advice given to others is practical and empathetic, further supporting authenticity.
About me
I started transitioning as a teenager because I felt it was the only way I could survive. After over a decade on testosterone and multiple surgeries, I realized I needed to live as a female again and accept my body. I stopped hormones and had to start estrogen to manage severe side effects after my hysterectomy. I’m now planning to get breast implants and a vaginoplasty to help me feel more like myself again. This has been a painful journey with many regrets, but connecting with other women who understand has made me feel less alone.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and now detransition has been long and complicated, and I’m still figuring it all out. I started transitioning back in 2010. At the time, I truly believe it was something I needed to do to survive; I don't think I'd still be alive if I hadn't done it then. But now, for the rest of my life, I know I need to go back to living as female. I need to learn to accept and embrace that that's who I am, and that I can't actually change it.
I took testosterone for over eleven years. I had top surgery, a full hysterectomy, and a metoidioplasty with a vaginectomy and testicular implants between 2010 and 2013. The results from my bottom surgery were not what I hoped for. Based on my specific body, like how much growth I had on T and my anatomy, I was never going to get a "male appearing" result. I wish my surgeon had been more upfront about that beforehand; it would have saved me a lot of money and heartache. The testicular implants never sat right, they felt strange inside my body and I think they were pressing on my urethra because ever since I had them removed, I can pee much faster.
I stopped testosterone cold turkey in July of 2021. Because I’d had a hysterectomy, my body had no hormones, and the hot flashes were excruciating and intolerable. I started taking estrogen two months later, in September, and that helped a lot. Mentally, stopping T wasn’t too bad for me, but the physical side effects were rough.
Looking back, I think a lot of things contributed to my transition. I discovered porn way too young. I also think I had some undiagnosed sensory processing issues. I hated how tight women’s pants felt, probably just because I was super sensitive to touch. I hated walking down the bright pink “girls toys” aisle, probably just because I found it visually overwhelming and painful. Now that I’ve found better coping mechanisms for those sensory triggers, those things don’t bother me as much anymore. It’s fascinating how much we change just as part of growing up.
Telling my family I was detransitioning was scary. I was nervous they would be confused or think I was betraying the cause, mostly because I felt that way about myself. I ended up framing it as a "medically necessary decision" because of the complications and sub-par results from my surgeries, and that seemed to help them understand. My mom was super accepting and respectful and even offered to tell the rest of the family for me, which saved me a lot of stressful conversations.
I do have a lot of regrets, mostly about the permanent changes. The scars on my chest are a constant reminder. Knowing that I'll never be able to bear children and that my genitals are disfigured is a heavy burden. That’s just the outcome of the choices I made and the things I felt I had to do at the time, and it's part of what I need to accept about my life from here on out.
Now, I'm looking into getting breast implants. My insurance plan doesn’t specifically exclude gender-related care, and it does cover breast reconstruction after a mastectomy. My plan is to find a doctor who is willing to code the procedure that way and hope it gets covered. I'm also planning to have a vaginoplasty later this year to try and reverse some of the effects of my meta and vnectomy. I’m interested in having vaginal sex again and just want to feel more natural in my body again.
This has been an incredibly difficult path, but connecting with other women who have reversed their surgeries has helped me feel less alone.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 19 | 2010 | Started testosterone. |
| 19-22 | 2010-2013 | Had top surgery, hysterectomy, and metoidioplasty with vaginectomy and testicular implants. |
| 30 | July 2021 | Stopped testosterone. |
| 30 | September 2021 | Started taking estrogen. |
| 30 | 2021 | Had testicular implants removed. |
| 31 | 2022 | Planning for breast implant surgery and vaginoplasty. |
Top Comments by /u/Outside-Dragonfly-48:
Yeah, I’ve been wondering that myself honestly. I definitely discovered porn way too young. Interestingly, I also think some undiagnosed sensory processing issues played a role too...I hated how tight women’s pants felt, probably just because I was super sensitive to touch. I hated walking down the bright pink “girls toys” aisle, probably just because I found it visually overwhelming and painful. Etc. now that I’ve found coping mechanisms for the sensory triggers, I find those things don’t bother me as much anymore. You’re right though, it’s fascinating how much we change just as part of growing.
I was on T for 11+yrs, also post-bottom surgery, and I've been physically detransitioning for the last ~6 months (stopped T over the summer, started Estrogen in September). I finally told my Mom last month. My whole family was very supportive the first time around, but I had similar concerns to you ("I also am fearful of the judgement and potential difficulties that might arise having BETRAYED THE CAUSE! Even though in my gut I know it’ll all be fine and I’ll be supported.") Probably, my own feelings of "how could I have gotten this so wrong???" had a big influence on how I expected my family to react. I thought they'd be confused/suspicious/doubtful because I've been feeling that way about myself.
So I went into things very nervous, but my whole family's responses have been fantastic. My mom was super accepting and respectful, and she offered to tell the rest of my family, which saved me a lot of stressful conversations. I basically framed it as a "medically necessary decision", since it mostly was (bottom surgery definitely did not turn out how i expected, sub par results and complications, so I'd rather go back to live as my true sex). That probably helped things sound more legitimate than if I just said "oh i don't wanna live as a guy anymore". my family was very respectful and didn't ask intrusive questions.
It's still early days, I haven't seen anybody in person since I detransitioned...that might be a little awkward at first. But I'm feeling like overall, things will be ok.
You mean before having meta? Oh yeah, I did my research. I looked at tons of results and chose my surgeon carefully. Unfortunately it's very much a "YMMV" procedure. Just based on my specific body (how much growth I had on T, where my clitoris was relative to my public bone, how much fat I had on my mons), I think that destined me to never having a "male appearing" result. If anything I wish my surgeon could have warned me of that beforehand, could have saved me a lot of money, but oh well.
There a reason why you say that? AFAIK PPT is not terribly prone to medical issues and based on my birth sex, think it'll be relatively easy to make things natural looking.
I'm here or there about if they can "pin down" my clit again...it isn't too big so can go without that if it'd be too difficult. but I'm uh, pretty interested in having vaginal sex again.
Well that’s interesting!… unfortunately I just checked, I had top surgery with medalie and he doesn’t take insurance. would have been fitting too cause he took out my testicular implants a few months ago haha. So I’ll keep him in mind but will probably try to get it covered first
I think that’s definitely one of the gray areas of medical coverage. My insurance plan document doesn’t specifically exclude gender-related care (doesn’t say anything about it at all). It does have some generic language about covering breast reconstruction after mastectomy. It doesn’t have any qualifiers there about “what kind” of mastectomy it needs to have been.
So my plan was: find a sympathetic doc who’s willing to medically code the procedure as breast reconstruction after mastectomy. Get pre-authorization for the procedure. If they cover it no questions, great…if not, go through the appeals process stating why it’s medically necessary and hope that sways them. If they don’t cover it, that’s not the worst thing in the works for my financially, but I’m hoping to get vaginoplasty later this year too, and having them all done same calendar year (placing expanders + implants + vnectomy) and getting them all covered would save a lot of money
Yeah i stopped T and started estrogen a few months ago but my clit probably won't shrink much...and the vaginal canal was completely removed, not just sewed up. But that's a good point, I didn't even think to just ask my GP lol. I'm not seeing a gyno but I'm sure I could get a referral. Probably the best place to start
You were smart not to have a vnectomy...wish I had made that same choice! Oh well. Thank you for commenting, nice to hear from other women who had their SRS reversed. Helps me feel less alone. The testicular implants felt the same to me, they never sat in the correct spot and they felt strange inside my body. I also think they were sitting against my urethra... ever since they were removed I can pee much faster haha
The effects will probably depend on whether or not you've had a hysto. I'm post-hysto and when I stopped T cold turkey, I didn't really notice any negative mental side effects, but the hot flashes were excruciating. they were intolerable until I started estrogen again, and really had the biggest impact to my quality of life in that couple months' span.
That said, stopping any medication cold turkey is generally a bad idea I think, and of course best to consult your doc
Part of believes that the way things happened are the only way that things could have happened. Another part of me keeps entertaining the thoughts of "what if ___."
I feel in a similar place. I think back to when I started transitioning in 2010, and I believe that I needed to do that then. I still think if I hadn't transitioned at that point in time, I might not still be alive. But for the rest of my life going forward, I think I need to go back to living as female. I need to learn to accept/embrace that that's who I am, and I can't actually change it. The scars that I bear as part of this journey - both literally on my chest, and knowing that I'll never bear children, I'll always have disfigured genitals, etc - that's part of what I need to accept about my life from here on out. That's just the outcome of the choices I've made and the things I had to do.