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Reddit user /u/Outside-Milk-8697's Detransition Story

Detransitioned: 23
female
porn problem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
got bottom surgery
now infertile
became religious
puberty discomfort
had religious background
heterosexual
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user's narrative is highly detailed, internally consistent, and spans a long personal timeline (transitioning over a decade ago, being off testosterone for 10 years, having four children). The emotional tone is complex, blending regret, acceptance, and personal growth in a way that reads as genuine human experience, not a constructed persona. The account fits within the expected range of passionate and critical views found in the detrans community.

About me

I was born female and began living as a man in my late teens, taking testosterone for four years. A near-fatal car accident was a wake-up call that made me stop and completely change my life's path. I've been left with permanent changes like facial hair, but I've also been able to have and breastfeed my four children. I found peace by focusing on my faith and helping others instead of my own identity. My past is private now, and I live happily as a wife and mother.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition was a long and complicated one, and my thoughts on it have changed so much over the years. I was born female and in my late teens, I became completely convinced that I was meant to be a man. I was 100% sure of it at the time; nothing anyone could have said would have changed my mind. I lived as a man and was on testosterone for about four years.

Being on T had some permanent effects that I still live with. My body shape went back to a female form, which I’m thankful for, but my face retained some masculine features, including facial hair that I still have to deal with. The bottom growth from testosterone also never went away. These are constant, physical reminders of that time in my life.

A huge shift for me happened after a near-fatal car accident. In that moment, I felt I was on the wrong path and I begged a higher power for another chance, promising to stop transitioning. It was a real wake-up call. After that, I converted to Islam and my entire perspective on life changed. I stopped focusing so much on myself, my identity, and my body. I started focusing on helping others and being a better person, and all the stuff about passing and surgeries suddenly seemed so unimportant. I just stopped taking hormones and let it all go.

Looking back, I see now that my relationship with my body was really complicated. I hated my breasts and definitely had a lot of discomfort with female puberty. But through my new faith and perspective, I’ve come to accept my female body, especially since I’ve been able to get pregnant and breastfeed my four children. I’m actually really thankful that top surgery wasn't easily available or covered by my insurance back then, because if it had been, I never would have been able to breastfeed my kids. It’s frustrating that insurance will cover surgeries to transition but not the ones that might help people who detransition.

My experience with sexuality was also deeply affected. As a woman, I never had much of a sex drive. But when I was on testosterone, it was like a switch flipped. I became horny all the time and developed a real problem with porn. It felt like an obsessive, disgusting compulsion that consumed my thoughts, and I hated it. That constant arousal felt like a disease. Getting off testosterone and losing that overwhelming drive was one of the best parts of detransitioning for me.

I don’t really have regrets about transitioning because it led me to where I am now, but I do live with permanent consequences. My life now is completely separate from that past. I’m married and my husband has no idea about my history; I’ve never told him. The fact that I’ve given birth to his children is proof enough for him of my femaleness, and that’s how I prefer it. I don’t identify as “detrans” in my daily life; it’s not part of who I am to anyone except my immediate family and some old friends. I only talk about it anonymously online.

My thoughts on gender now are that there are natural, biological distinctions between male and female, like the fact that females get pregnant and give birth. A lot of the other stuff is just social perception. For me, moving past my transition was about realizing that in the grand scheme of life, what you call yourself or how you’re perceived is not the most important thing. Focusing on something bigger than myself was what finally gave me peace.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
Late Teens Started socially living as a man.
19 Started testosterone (T).
23 Stopped testosterone after 4 years. Had a near-death car accident that sparked my decision to detransition.
23-33 (Present) Lived off hormones. Body fat redistributed to a female shape. Permanent facial hair and bottom growth remained.
Various Got married, gave birth to and breastfed four children.
33 Present day, anonymous online detransition support member.

Top Comments by /u/Outside-Milk-8697:

11 comments • Posting since October 20, 2022
Reddit user Outside-Milk-8697 (detrans female) comments on the insurance paradox of covering transition surgeries but not detransition procedures, despite both being for mental health and dysphoria.
31 pointsOct 27, 2022
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BA… its unfortunate to me that insurences will cover the surgeries one way but not in reverse, even if the reason for providing coverage for the surgeries is necause seeming to be nessisary to improve mental health and help get rid of disphoria… which would be the same reasoning for them in both cases 😪

Reddit user Outside-Milk-8697 (detrans female) comments on a study's methodology, explaining how she would have been a false positive for the 98% persistence statistic a decade ago, but has since detransitioned.
21 pointsJan 15, 2023
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i was gonna say the same thing lol my trans peroid happened over a decade ago but lasted about a half decade 😆 if they caught me in that trial i wouldve added to their statistic of 98% but i havent been trans since so… deffinately misleading even if it is true which who knows, but check back with said indeviduals in another decade ir so

Reddit user Outside-Milk-8697 (detrans female) explains how male hormones during her transition led to a 24/7, OCD-like sex drive and obsession with porn, which she describes as a "nasty habit" and the best part of detransitioning was being free from it.
19 pointsNov 11, 2022
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i didnt watch porn until i transitioned into a guy, then ut was like all day eberyday 🤪 so my relationship with it is much different, but a negative one as well. i was dishusted with myself, its all i ever wanted to see or do and was obsessed and its just such a nasty habit and thing in general. i hated that aspect of male hormones, as a female i am not like this, as a male im horny 24/7 and its such a waste of time and brainspace… arosal felt like some kinda ocd disease i couldnt get away from. thats literally the best thing about detransitioning to me ngl, not having these kind of thoughts comsume me ever lol

Reddit user Outside-Milk-8697 (detrans female) explains how she is thankful that her transition was difficult, as easier access to top surgery would have prevented her from breastfeeding her four children.
19 pointsNov 6, 2022
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thanks for sharing. i too (tho ftmtf) am thankful that i went through my transition back in the day when it was much harder and less accessible… i had to work my butt off for it and took a lot of time (thought i was still on hormones 4 years) if top surgery was covered by my insurence at the time i never wouldve been able to breastfeed my now 4 kids

Reddit user Outside-Milk-8697 (detrans female) comments that no amount of questioning would have changed her mind about transitioning, suggesting that asking the question itself is a sign to reflect.
8 pointsNov 8, 2022
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tbh… nothing. i was 100% confident and assured in myself and my decision when i transitioned ftm and i dont think any question, thought, idea, prompt, or anyrhing anyone couldve said or done at that time wouldve changed my mind out of it…

to me, i think coming here and asking that questions is maybe something to think about itself 🤷🏾‍♀️

Reddit user Outside-Milk-8697 (detrans female) explains that while her body returned to a female shape after 10 years off testosterone, some permanent facial changes remained.
7 pointsOct 20, 2022
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how long were on T? but ive been off T for 10 years (was on it for 4) and i 100% pass as female to the public. i beleive my body is 100% back to the female shape (aside downstairs growth 😪) However, i dont want to dishearten you, but i still have many masculine aspects to my face (including facial hair) that give me disphoria and i plan to have ffs because of it.

so in short, its likely there will be perminant changes that just sont go away, though they may get better, i just dont think we go back to looking the same as we wouldve if aged naturally from pre-T without transitioning… but good news is you should pass for sure👍🏾

Reddit user Outside-Milk-8697 (detrans female) explains why stopping her transition over a decade ago was the easier, safer path to a "normal" life, as being trans then was a struggle with little support, and her detransition is not part of her current identity.
5 pointsOct 23, 2022
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for me at the time when i stop transitioning it was over a decade ago and not really the best time to be trans anyways, so going down that path was a big struggle and dangerous etc so actually to stop going down that path WAS the easier route. most ppl werent supportive and there were not much resources or benefits for trans back then. i got faced with a lot more hardships to be trans than to stop, and essentially over time, if you arent just announcing it to people its not like u live as “detrans” forever. no one knows me as detrans, its not part of my identity irl at all, only my family members or old friends know i even went through that so, that is the decision to be “normal” imo 😬

see, i only come on reddit annonymously to even talk about the topic hha

sasly tho being detrans now a days is like being trans back in the day 😅 soo

Reddit user Outside-Milk-8697 (detrans female) comments on the difference between biological sex distinctions and social gender perceptions.
4 pointsOct 20, 2022
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your example is odd but i get what youre saying, babys can be formula fed too and any gender cpuld do that so 😅

like the differrnce between females being the ones who get pregnant and give birth vs females “have long hair” or females “wear make up”

theres natural and biological distinctions and then social perseptions

like: men should take out the trash, men like working with tools etc vs men have balls, men are more horny lol (dont debate me on this, ive been a man too 😆)

Reddit user Outside-Milk-8697 (detrans female) comments about keeping her detransitioned past a secret from both of her husbands, noting that her ability to get pregnant and give birth has prevented them from questioning her gender, despite her still growing a beard.
3 pointsOct 20, 2022
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ive been married twice and neither husband has ever known about my past of living as and being transitioned to a male. i still grow a beard (and have the downstairs growth 🤷🏾‍♀️) i would fear either of them ever finding out tbh

the fact that i get pregnant and give birth i think is convincing enough evidence to have them not question my gender 💁🏾‍♀️

Reddit user Outside-Milk-8697 (detrans female) explains how a near-death experience and shift in worldview led her to detransition, advising that life's unpredictability makes permanent decisions difficult.
3 pointsNov 8, 2022
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i guess one thing to consider is that its a decision with pretty perminant aspects, and in life (idk how old u r) but in life we are always learning and growing and changing as people. one thing u may be 100% cocksure of at a point u could completely be against or disagree with in the future, and aomething youve alwaya hates in the past or thought u’d never want, u may find urself wanting…

i never wanted to have kids. now im about to give birth to my 4th lol i was obsessed with dogs for along time and finally got ine to learn i hate them lol im a total cat person 😹 life is a total learning experiance and sometimes we just cant predict how we will react or how it will go

many things u may feel in the moment 100% certain of for yourself, could turn out to change ur mind on after experiancing it

so i dont really have any helpful advice tbh 🤷🏾‍♀️

for me personally i had a near death car crash and essentially i begged and appologized to a higher power in the moment because i knew the path i was on was wrong and promised to stop this transition stuff. turned out wearing my chest binder at the time actually played a role in protecting me from major damage in the incident, so i thank god for that. later i converted to islam and just my overall perception of the world shifted so i no longer needed to pursue the trans stuff. my focus was off of myself, i wasnt as self centered ans was focusing my life on improving my behavior and treatment of others ans focusing more on what i could do to help others or better the earth and focused on those less fortunate than me and i just didnt reminice or obsess over myself wanting/needing to transition or get surgeries or pass etc. i just let it go and stopped taking hormones and didnt care what ppl called me as or how my gender was perceived etc

it all just seemed so very unimportant to be in the grand scheme of things. i dont think there is anyway to force this shift in ypur way of thinking and its just something that happened to me by the grace of god and if it didnt im sure id be in a totally different place right now still pursuing trying to live as a man