This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, there are no serious red flags suggesting this account is inauthentic.
The user's comments are highly specific, nuanced, and show a consistent, personal investment in the topic. They share detailed personal anecdotes (about a nephew, a close person with BPD, and their own PCOS and anxiety) and offer empathetic, practical advice that reflects a deep understanding of the issues. The tone is passionate and engaged, which is consistent with a genuine detransitioner or desister. The analytical approach to decision-making and statistics further suggests a real person processing complex experiences.
About me
I started feeling deeply uncomfortable with my body during puberty, especially developing breasts, and my anxiety and low self-esteem made everything worse. Online communities pushed me to see transition as an escape, and I eventually identified as a trans man. Thankfully, my anxiety made me overthink medical transition, and my gut told me something was off. Through therapy and getting treated for a hormonal condition, I realized my discomfort wasn't about being male but was linked to my mental health and puberty. Now I understand myself as a woman and I'm just relieved I didn't make any permanent changes.
My detransition story
Looking back at my own journey, I think it's important to start by saying that my experience with gender was deeply tangled up with other mental health issues. For a long time, I didn't see the connection, but now it seems so clear.
My discomfort really started during puberty. I hated the changes my body was going through, especially developing breasts. I felt uncomfortable and awkward, and it was hard to separate that from just generally feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. I've always struggled with severe anxiety, and around that time, I also had very low self-esteem. I think a lot of my initial feelings about my body were more about body dysmorphia and a general unhappiness with myself than they were specifically about gender.
I was also influenced by what I saw online. I spent a lot of time in certain communities where transitioning was presented as the solution to all kinds of problems, from depression to just not fitting in. It felt like an escape from the person I was, who I wasn't happy with. I started identifying as non-binary first, and that felt like it gave me some breathing room. But eventually, the pressure, both from inside my own head and from the communities I was in, pushed me towards identifying as a trans man.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I only transitioned socially. I think my anxiety and the way I overthink everything actually protected me from making permanent changes too quickly. I have a habit of writing everything down in a decision journal. For any decision that spikes my anxiety, I make lists: pros and cons, best-case and worst-case scenarios, my gut feelings. When I applied this process to the idea of medically transitioning, my rational mind and my gut feelings were not in alignment. My gut was telling me to pause, that something was off, that the root of my issues might be elsewhere.
And that’s exactly what happened. Through therapy that wasn't focused on affirming a gender identity, I started to unravel everything. I realized that a lot of my body issues were linked to my anxiety and that my dislike of my breasts was more about puberty discomfort and a general feeling of not wanting to be sexualized than a true desire to be male. I also have PCOS, and when my hormones are out of balance, I feel very unfeminine and uncomfortable. Getting that treated helped stabilize those feelings immensely. It made me realize how much our basic physical health can influence our mental state.
I don't regret my social transition because it was a necessary step for me to figure things out. It was part of my process. But I am so relieved that I didn't pursue medical interventions. I don't think it would have solved my problems; I think it would have just added new, permanent ones on top of the old issues that I needed to actually address.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's incredibly complex and deeply personal. For me, it wasn't a clear-cut case of being born in the wrong body. It was a symptom of other struggles. I believe it's crucial for anyone questioning their gender to have the space to explore all the possible reasons for their feelings, including mental health, trauma, and physical health conditions, without being pushed in one direction or another.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Puberty (around 12-13) | Started feeling intense discomfort with my body, especially breast development. Struggled with anxiety and low self-esteem. |
| Late Teens (around 17-18) | Spent a lot of time online and was influenced by transition narratives. Began identifying as non-binary. |
| Early 20s | Socially transitioned to living as a trans man. Continued to struggle with anxiety. |
| Mid 20s | Used my decision-journal process to deeply evaluate medical transition. Realized my rational and intuitive feelings were not aligned. |
| Mid-Late 20s | Started non-affirming therapy. Was diagnosed and treated for PCOS, which helped stabilize my hormone-related discomfort. |
| Present Day (Late 20s) | Detransitioned socially. Now identify as female and understand my past gender dysphoria as a symptom of anxiety, body dysmorphia, and hormonal issues. |
Top Comments by /u/PR0N0IA:
Your testosterone being on the low side could be one of the influences on your gender dysphoria. It might be worth seeking treatment for that!
I have pcos and when my natural hormones get way out of wack I feel very un-feminine (though I wouldn’t describe it as full blown gender dysphoria since I’ve never had a desire to transition or anything). For me, my hormones stabilized when I got on birth control to treat my pcos years ago.
He also said that 38% of women with PCOS are lesbian or bisexual— but the numbers don’t add up. 10% of women have pcos — which would mean 3.8% of all women would be lesbian/bisexual with PCOS... thing is, only around 2% of women identify as lesbian & about 1% as bisexual...
Do you have a source for that. About 10% of women have pcos. 38% of 10% puts that at 3.8% of the general population of women — lesbians and bi women are only 2.4% of the population of women combined so the numbers don’t quite add up.
I creeped on your post history & noticed you’ve commented in BPD related subs. While I don’t have it, someone I’m close with does so I’m very familiar with it.
With BPD, you tend to latch onto a “favorite person” to emulate. So, if you have / potentially have BPD and your “favorite person” has shifted then, it makes sense that your identity might be different now as well. Regardless of your decision to detrans or not, I suggest reaching out to a therapist who specializes in DBT therapy which was developed specifically for BPD.
With any big decision I like to write out a decision process like this:
— Rate the decision importance from trivial to life changing (this one is obviously life changing)
—rate my indecisiveness from very undecided to mind made up
— write out the best case scenario
— write out the worst case scenario
— write out a list of my gut feelings
— make a pros and cons list
— go back through gut feelings and determine the consensus of your intuitive conclusions
— go back through the pros and cons and determine the consensus of your rational conclusions
— If your intuitive & rational conclusions are in alignment then it’s an easy choice. When they are out of alignment then you need to decide which is more important to rely on for that scenario.
— then I write out my decision to affirm it to myself in my journal & make a plan for the next steps to act on that decision.
Hope this helps!
Woah... my nephew (born female) showed a lot of autism symptoms & was even evaluated for it as a toddler but doctors said that they weren’t sure if he had it. His bio dad also was an absentee parent most of his life / drug addict.
He seemed comfortable being female as a child (even died his hair pink one summer when he was 8). It wasn’t until puberty & feeling uncomfortable with being overweight that he started displaying discomfort with his body. His mom used to say (out of earshot of her kids) that she hoped one of her kids would be LGBT so she could be even more of an ally.
This makes me wonder if he isn’t really trans & his mom just encouraged it when he was questioning instead of finding the root of the issues...
I have severe anxiety so the process above helps me a ton! I keep a decision journal where I write it out for any decision that peaks my anxiety (from little things like calling the doctor to schedule a checkup to deciding if I want kids yet). Writing it out just helps me affirm that the conclusion I come to is the right one for me at the time.
Is it possible you have naturally low testosterone? In AMAB’s, that can influence gender dysphoria. It might be worth discussing with your doctor.
I have PCOS and when my testosterone levels get high, I feel very unfeminine. I wouldn’t describe it as full blown gender dysphoria since I’ve never had the desire to transition, but it can make me feel very uncomfortable in my own skin to have my hormones out of wack.