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Reddit user /u/PabloBurnellini's Detransition Story

Detransitioned: 22
female
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
influenced online
got top surgery
now infertile
homosexual
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account does not show clear red flags of being inauthentic.

The user demonstrates consistent, nuanced, and passionate engagement with complex detransition topics. Their language is not repetitive or bot-like, and they show an understanding of community-specific terms (desister vs. detransitioner, autohomoeroticism). The tone is argumentative and ideological, which aligns with the stated passion and anger some detransitioners feel. There is no evidence to suggest this is a bot or a fake account.

About me

I'm a female who began transitioning because I hated my body and felt I couldn't be a masculine woman. I took testosterone and had top surgery, but I came to realize my desire to be male was based on internalized homophobia and a need to escape female social roles. I stopped hormones despite pressure from my doctor, and I am now detransitioned. I have to accept my permanently deepened voice, but I don't regret my choice to live truthfully as a female. I now believe we cannot change our sex and that my discomfort was with society's expectations, not my body itself.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was a lesbian and I hated my body, especially my breasts. I felt like I couldn't fulfill the role of a woman, especially in a relationship. Looking back, I think a lot of this was internalized homophobia. I wanted to be seen as a straight man with a woman, rather than as a lesbian. I also spent a lot of time online and was influenced by the communities I was in, which included a lot of content about male homosexuality, something I now understand is sometimes called autohomoeroticism or being a Fujoshi.

I decided to transition and started taking testosterone. I thought it would fix my hatred for my body and being seen as female. I even got top surgery. For a while, I lived as a man. But the changes from testosterone were permanent in ways I didn't fully grasp. My voice dropped significantly and it caused me pain. I was told that even if I stopped, my voice would never fully return to how it was before.

The turning point came when I realized my desire to transition was based on a flawed idea. I was trying to escape being a masculine woman by becoming a man. I came to believe that non-binary isn't a real, natural gender category, and that everyone is fundamentally male or female. I started to question what I was doing. I saw how people, like a partner's father, would pressure others to go on hormones to be a "real man," and I realized how wrong that coercion was. I decided that no one should abuse synthetic hormones to satisfy someone else's desires or to fit a role.

I decided to detransition. I stopped testosterone. It was scary because my endocrinologist pressured me to continue, which felt unprofessional. I had to insist on stopping. I changed my user flair in online spaces from "desisted female" to "detrans female" because I had undergone permanent changes.

Now, I have to accept that people might misgender me because my voice and physique are permanently altered. I don't regret detransitioning; I see it as changing for the better. I think it's important to be honest about it. I don't understand why someone would want to stay socially trans after detransitioning. It’s like an ex-smoker pretending they still smoke—there’s no shame in improving your life.

I now believe that "gender roles" aren't a thing in healthy relationships. A woman with masculine interests can be a great partner. My thoughts on gender are that it's not fluid; we are born male or female, and trying to change that with hormones and surgery is based on unscientific theories. I benefited from critically evaluating my own thought processes, almost like a form of cognitive behavioral therapy I suggested to others, which helped me see that my dysphoria was rooted in hating the expectations placed on me as a woman, not my body itself.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
Teenager Started feeling discomfort with my body and being a woman. Influenced by online communities.
20 Started taking testosterone.
21 Had top surgery.
22 Stopped testosterone after realizing my motivations were based on internalized homophobia and escapism. Began living as a detransitioned female.

Top Comments by /u/PabloBurnellini:

15 comments • Posting since March 26, 2023
Reddit user PabloBurnellini (desisted male) explains why no one should be coerced into taking hormones to satisfy a partner's family.
53 pointsMar 26, 2023
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No person with self-respect would even consider being coerced into violating their own bodily autonomy by abusing synthetic opposite-sex hormones in order to satisfy someone else desires.

Either tell your partner that she (and her family) will have to accept you the way you are or leave her,if she truly loves you she won't hesitate choosing you.

Reddit user PabloBurnellini (desisted) explains why "transracial" identity isn't accepted, contrasting queer theory's view of fluid gender with critical race theory's view of fixed, immutable race.
49 pointsApr 11, 2023
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Because transgenderism if based on "queer theory" which states that gender is fluid,where as race is based on "critical race theory" which states that race is fixed and immutable (which is why whites can inherit racial guilt from their ancestor).

Neither of those theories are scientific,but it does explain why transracialism isn't tolerated.

Reddit user PabloBurnellini (desisted) explains that a young person can simply state they are no longer trans, and adults will likely view it as a passing phase and be happy.
27 pointsApr 21, 2023
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Just tell them hat you're no longer trans and that is it;you're too young be held accountable and you haven't dont anything medically so they will probably just think of it as a phase (like being an emo) and most likely be happy you're no longer trans.

Reddit user PabloBurnellini (desisted male) comments on his girlfriend's father pressuring him to take testosterone to "be a real man" after a phone call.
27 pointsMar 26, 2023
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"Her dad, on the other hand, is both homophobic and transphobic. I've
only met him through phone call and he aggressively started asking me if
I'm really a boy because I sound like a girl, and saying I need to go
on testosterone if I'm a real man."

It seems that atleast her dad is trying to pressure you into going on Testosterone.

Reddit user PabloBurnellini (desisted) explains the concept of autohomoeroticism, linking it to transgenderism caused by fetishizing same-sex relationships, and defines the term "fujoshi" as its colloquial counterpart stemming from manga and hentai.
25 pointsApr 16, 2023
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It's called Autohomoeroticism (i.e transgenderism caused by fetishisation of or by the desire to engage in opposite sex homosexual realtionships),Fujoshi is a colloquial term used to describe female autohomoeroticism induced by excessive hentai/manga consumption depicting male homosexuality.

Reddit user PabloBurnellini (desisted) comments on a detransitioned individual's choice to remain socially transitioned, comparing it to an ex-smoker pretending to still smoke.
25 pointsApr 22, 2023
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I've noticed how many female transsexuals complain about how they're being perceived as pre-teen boys if they have a clean shave and try to compensate for their innate femaleness by growing a lot of facial hair,seems like you were one of them.

May I ask why you intent to stay socially trans?

It isn't like ex-smokers pretend like they still smoke,why be ashamed that you've changed for the better?

Reddit user PabloBurnellini (desisted) explains why they believe non-binary is not a natural gender and questions how one can "pass" without a natural reference point.
24 pointsApr 20, 2023
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How does one identify as "non-binary" when when "non-binary" doesn't exist as a natural gender?

How does one "pass" as "non-binary" when there is no natural reference point to be used and everyone will (correctly) assume that one is male/female presenting androgynously?

Reddit user PabloBurnellini (desisted male) comments on the non-existence of a "woman's role" in a healthy heterosexual relationship, stating most men prefer a partner with masculine interests.
15 pointsMar 27, 2023
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"I feel like a couldn't fulfill the role of a woman in a heterosexual relationship."

Unless you're talking about matters related to reproduction then "the role of a women" isn't a thing in healthy relations,most men actually prefer women with masculine interests/demeanor since it means that you get a romantic partner and the male BFF experience all in one person.

Reddit user PabloBurnellini (desisted male) questions the motivations for medical transition, asking how testosterone would address specific body image issues and social discomfort.
10 pointsMar 27, 2023
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"I hate my body"

What specifically about your body is it that you hate and how would abusing Testosterone fix it?

"I hate being referred to as a woman or female or girl and all that"

What specifially about being referred to as a women/girl is it that you hate and how would abusing Testosterone fix it?

"I want to get on HRT I want to live my life as a man."

What about presenting as a man (you can never become male) is it that you find appealing,and have you considered the downsides of presenting as a man?

Reddit user PabloBurnellini (desisted) explains why quitting HRT can be medically necessary if ovaries are removed and questions pressuring someone to continue non-medical hormone therapy.
10 pointsApr 21, 2023
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Did your endocrinologist specify why quitting Testosterone/HRT is a bad idea,because pressuring somone into continuing non-medically related HRT seems unproffesional.

Do you still have your ovaries? Because if you don't you'll need to start taking Estrogen since your body needs either the male or female sex hormone to function properly.