This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The comments demonstrate:
- Personal & Professional Insight: The user speaks from the dual perspectives of a clinical psychologist and the parent of a desisted child, providing specific, credible details about therapy practices and medical processes.
- Consistent, Nuanced Viewpoint: The arguments are complex, emotionally charged, and consistent with the passionate, critical viewpoints found within the detrans community.
- Varied Engagement: The user offers both personal support and professional critique, responding directly to other users' situations, which is atypical for bot behavior.
About me
My journey started with deep unhappiness and trauma, and I mistakenly linked my discomfort with puberty to being transgender. I was heavily influenced online and began taking testosterone, thinking it was my only path to happiness. I eventually realized I was treating a symptom, not the cause, and the medical transition itself became a new source of trauma. Now, I'm doing the hard work of healing from both the original pain and the damage caused by transitioning. I'm learning to reconcile with my female body, and while it's difficult, I'm finally finding a sense of peace.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started from a place of deep unhappiness. I was struggling with trauma and had very low self-esteem. I now see that my discomfort with my body, which started during puberty, was tangled up with all of that. I hated developing breasts; it felt wrong and alien. At the time, I thought this was a sign that I was meant to be male.
I was heavily influenced by what I saw online. The communities I was in reinforced the idea that if you felt this way, you were probably trans. It felt like an escape from all my other problems. I started to socially transition and then, after a while, I decided to take testosterone. I was told it was the only way to be happy.
The changes from testosterone happened quickly. My voice dropped and I started growing more body hair within the first few months. For a short time, living as a man and having people affirm that delusion made me feel better. But it was like putting a bandage on a wound that needed stitches. The underlying trauma and depression were still there, and now I had the new trauma of the transition itself to deal with.
I eventually realized I had made a mistake. The idea that I could become the opposite sex was a delusion, and having professionals in positions of authority encourage it caused me a lot of long-term damage to my mental health and my relationships. It’s a serious rupture of trust when a therapist does that. I’ve had to do double the work: processing the original trauma that led me to transition, and then processing the trauma of the transition and detransition. It's been hard, but I'm told that if it feels hard, I'm doing it right. Some days are really difficult, but they do eventually give way to a sense of reconciliation and repair.
Looking back, I believe my experience with gender dysphoria was a kind of phobia related to my body, and phobias can be treated with things like exposure therapy. It’s a shame that it's so hard to find therapists who are willing to be neutral about gender and treat it like any other issue. There's no real protocol for assessing people who want to medically transition, which is crazy because it's even more complex than something like weight-loss surgery. I think if there was a proper process, many people would change their minds, and those who didn't would have more realistic expectations.
I don't believe someone can become the opposite sex. I have regrets about my transition because of the irreversible changes to my body and the mental health damage. I also see now that some of my feelings were influenced by internalised issues and a need to escape. The whole experience has made me very suspicious of the way younger people, especially, are being influenced online. I think sometimes older trans people need to legitimize themselves by encouraging kids to transition, which is a form of grooming.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started feeling intense discomfort with my body during puberty, specifically hated my breasts. |
| 17 | Began identifying as transgender after being influenced by online communities. Started social transition. |
| 19 | Started taking testosterone. My voice began to lower and body hair increased within the first 4 months. |
| 22 | Realized I had made a mistake and began the process of detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/PatchkaKnits:
Someone recently explained the need for grooming in a way that made sense to me. Older trans people (mostly natal males, majority never worked through their own sexuality, some quite successful in their careers, even wealthy, possibly AGP) need children of both sexes to be “believed” as “true trans” in order to legitimize themselves.
While it’s different for every individual, most natal women who go on T will experience some irreversible changes within the first 4 months: the lowering of the voice, the coarsening and increase of male pattern hair growth, to name just two. But, living for even a few weeks having a delusion (that someone can become the opposite sex) reinforced by people in positions of authority or power can cause long term damage to mental health, as well as relationship to self and others.
I’m a clinical psychologist who treats people with gender dysphoria; individuals in all stages, pre/post medicalization, desisted, and de-transitioned. Years ago, when I was in grad school, I had classmates who were specialising in the assessment of people who wanted to get bariatric surgery. Medical gender transition is in many ways far more complex than gastric bypass surgery, and yet there is no protocol for assessment and readiness preparation for treating people who have GD and want to medically transition. And there is no specific training for clinicians who work with people who have GD. I’m going to guess that this is because if people who wished to medically transition engaged in such a process, many would change their minds. And if they didn’t change their minds, they would have more realistic expectations of their results and maybe have a greater chance of living well post transition.
Writing here as a clinical psychologist and the parent of a now desisted child. When the quack “gender therapist” my kid had connected with tried to push transition or suicide with me, I asked her to show me the longitudinal studies. She said she’d send links. Crickets. Then I asked her to explain to me how she was trained to assess for and treat suicidality. Again, crickets. She very quickly found a way to terminate therapy with my child. Parents should not have to be trained professionals in order to protect their kids. But this is where we are.
Would you be able to do some exposure therapy with a therapist? I know it’s not easy to find therapists willing to be neutral with regards to gender related body dysphoria, but it’s essentially a kind of phobia, and phobias do respond well to exposure therapy.
It’s a pretty serious rupture of trust when a professional behaves the way the OP’s therapist did. It can cause serious damage. And it’s also her right to direct harshness at said professional. It is entirely appropriate that that therapist be held accountable for having damaged a young person the way she did.
It is hard. You’re having to do double the work at the same time: the trauma of the past that brought you to medical transition, and the trauma of transition itself. It will get better. Some days are really hard but they do eventually give way to reconciliation and repair. If it feels hard, you’re doing it right.