This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it's a bot or inauthentic.
The user's posts show a consistent, emotionally raw narrative of someone questioning their decision to start HRT, expressing fear and mental health struggles, and seeking advice—all of which are highly typical and authentic behaviors for someone in the desister/detrans community. The language is personal, inconsistent, and human.
About me
I wanted to be more feminine and was sure hormones were my path, so I started taking them at 19. The three weeks I was on them were terrifying; my mood crashed and I became deeply anxious about the permanent physical changes. I stopped to take a break and clear my head from all the online pressure. I realized my desire wasn't about being a woman, but came from low self-esteem, and I needed to address my mental health instead. Now, I'm glad I listened to my body and stopped when I did, as it helped me understand my true self.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started because I wanted to be more feminine. I was sure that taking hormones was the right path for me, and I was really happy when I first started. I was active in a lot of online trans groups, but I noticed they only ever talked about the positive sides of transitioning and never the potential downsides. They actually told me to avoid detransition spaces, but I wanted to make a fully informed decision, so I came here to listen to other stories too.
I was only on hormones for three weeks, but that short time was one of the most mentally challenging and scary periods of my life. My mood dropped significantly. I felt lower than I did before starting, and when I was alone, I found myself in some pretty dark places. It really drained my mental health. I didn't experience the happiness I expected; instead, I felt fear and anxiety about the future.
The physical changes, even in that short time, scared me. I never had any bottom dysphoria, and the changes to my fertility and sexual function were my biggest concern even before I started. I noticed a decrease in semen volume and it became more clear, which really worried me. I started to get scared thinking about what my body would be like in one or two years. What if I hated it? What if I felt stuck?
Because of all this, I decided to stop taking hormones for at least a month to take a break and reflect. I also decided to spend less time in online LGBT spaces to clear my head. I needed to see how my body and my mood would react to stopping and give myself the space to figure out what I truly wanted without any outside influence.
I don't have any regrets about exploring my gender, but I am glad I stopped when I did. I don't think my experience was really about gender at all. Looking back, I think a lot of my desire to transition came from a place of low self-esteem and a simple desire to be a more feminine person, not necessarily a woman. I benefited from stepping back and using non-affirming therapy to work on my underlying mental health, which was the real issue.
I'm not religious, but I've thought about how some people say everything is part of a plan. Maybe this entire experience was just a difficult path I needed to walk to finally understand myself better.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Started researching HRT and joined online trans communities. |
| 19 | Began taking estrogen HRT. |
| 19 | Stopped HRT after 3 weeks due to severe anxiety, low mood, and fear about physical changes, particularly regarding fertility. |
Top Comments by /u/Pleb-SoBayed:
ou can feel like you're 100% ri
First of all thank you very much for talking about such a sensitive and personal issue, This was partly my reason for making this post because in most trans spaces they only talk about the good and no one mentions the bad. I have never thought about it like the way you spoke about it and it was very helpful.
Also you dont need to apologise about anything i just wanted to know about other peoples story and make an informed decision
I hope I didn't bring back and bad memories or thoughts, and I sincerely hope your mental health gets better, all i can say from my experience is take care of urself girl cause if u dont no one else will
uhmm its called my feelings have been changing regarding transitioning. I'm considering stopping hrt for a month or so and spend less time in lgbt online spaces because since i started hrt ill admit my mood has been lower than it was pre hrt and sometimes when im alone ive been in pretty dark places and it has drained my mental health. so ill take a break for a month or so and see if i feel any better or worse and then make a decision
idk why u mentioned porn but like i dont even watch it?
I'm going to take atleast a month break off hrt and see how my body and mood react. Idk these 3 weeks have been the most mentally challenging scary and draining ive had in like forever. im also going to spend less time in lgbt spaces and reflect on myself and see what the conclusion i reach
do u think its too late for me to get my T levels back to pre hrt? and fertility back to pre hrt levels?
I want to feminize myself and im happy being and presenting feminine
but the only concern i have is downstairs like i dont have bottom dysphoria and that has been some of the reasons ive been scared. Like other reasons ive been scared for the future is like what if in 1 or 2 years i hate my body? and im stuck like that? idk theres more but idk how to explain it
Sorry i was sleeping
I made this because im considering getting hrt and in my trans groups they only talk about the good never the bad and they actively tell me to avoid u ppl, but since im considering getting hrt and to truly make an in formed decision i wanted to ask both sides
Im not religious but religious ppl tell me often that the world acts according to gods will and everything that happens is gods plan.
So maybe it was gods plan for you/whoever it was to be trans? And by extension of that gods will? Maybe its you going against gods plan and by extension of that gods will?
Also i got nothing against religious ppl since im an athirst but i just had this thought when i read that
i think im going to take a break for a month or 2 on hrt and reflect on everything i've evperienced in the past 3 weeks. My mental health has been dropping since on hrt so ill have a reflect on myself and see what i decide after a month or 2.
do u think my Testosterone levels will ever go back to what they were pre hrt? and sperm production will go back to before? ive already noticed its less in volume and more clear in only 3 weeks like i never ever had bottom dysphoria and it was my biggest concern even pre hrt
When i started hrt i was happy i was starting and at the time i was sure of it but then i didnt realise what the changes would feel like and the mental ones as well, but now that im experiencing the changes to my body ive been scared for the future and i ve been having second thoughts