This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's story is highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over time. They describe a complex, painful, and non-linear journey of transition and detransition, including specific details about family dynamics, personal relationships, mental health, and the physical and psychological effects of HRT. The language is natural, with self-corrections and explanations consistent with a non-native English speaker. The passion and anger present are congruent with a genuine detransitioner's experience.
About me
I never fit in and was bullied for being a non-masculine male, which made me feel like an outcast in my own skin. I thought transitioning to female would solve everything and let me escape my life, but after over a year on estrogen, I realized it was a trade-off that made things worse. I stopped hormones because I was using transition as escapism from my trauma and low self-esteem. I’ve learned that my real issue was hating the social expectations placed on men, and I’m now learning to accept myself as a sensitive male. My mental health is improving as I work on coming to terms with who I truly am.
My detransition story
My entire journey with transition and detransition started from a place of never really fitting in. I was adopted, and while that wasn't the direct cause, I always felt different from my family and the other kids at school. I was bullied a lot and called names, which made me feel like an outcast. I was a non-masculine male and I became incredibly self-conscious about everything I did, from the way I shifted gears in a car to the way I talked. A male colleague at an old job made gay "jokes" about me every single day. It all made me feel like I didn't belong in my own skin.
I started to believe that my discomfort was because I was meant to be a woman. I had a vision of a "new me," a whole new life where I could escape my unresolved existence and finally feel like I belonged. I met a guy online and we would roleplay through text; I told him all about my feelings of belonging to another gender, so he knew everything from the start. This feeling was heavily influenced by what I saw online and by the friends I had at the time. For a while, transitioning socially and presenting as a woman really worked; it felt like it compensated for my crappy social life.
I saw therapists for over two years and was on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for a year and a month. I took estrogen. But transitioning didn't improve my life in any measurable way; it actually made it worse. The hormones warped my mind and my feelings started to change. I began to see that transition is a huge trade-off. I realized I had been jealous and envious of women, and I needed to understand where that was coming from instead of trying to become one.
I stopped HRT at the end of November 2022. It was really hard, and I grieved a lot. I felt dysphoric and jealous for a while even after stopping. But my mental health has improved since I dropped estrogen. I have more libido and I don't have to worry about my health as much. I’ve learned that I need to come to terms with myself, not force myself to live one way or another.
I don’t regret transitioning because I learned so much about myself through the process, but I also see now that it wasn't the right path for me. I was using it as a form of escapism. I had a lot of internalized issues. I hated the social expectations placed on me as a man, but I’ve come to understand that I can be a sensitive man and that's okay. I don't see myself ever dating a woman again; I like the dynamic I have with men, where I can be the sensitive one. It feels natural.
My views on gender have changed. I think we need a better approach to mental health. I believe my journey was heavily influenced by trauma, low self-esteem, and a desire to escape my reality. I’m now trying to find peace with who I am, a non-masculine male, and rebuild the connections I lost, like with an old childhood friend I shunned because of politics during my transition.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| ? | Felt different and was bullied for being a non-masculine male. |
| ? | Started having feelings of belonging to another gender. |
| ? | Began socially transitioning and online roleplay. |
| ? | Started seeing therapists to discuss gender. |
| ? | Started taking estrogen (HRT). |
| ? | Stopped HRT (End of November 2022). |
| ? | Began the process of detransitioning and working on my mental health. |
Top Comments by /u/Pontos88:
Nothing to add to your post, I guess, it is pretty much spot on.
On my reality, it felt like I was compensating for my crappy social life. And for a moment, it really worked. But it all fell apart, slowly, when I felt that I couldnt voice my opinions, or even have a conservative book in my shelf without having a snappy comment or a tired look from them.
We really need a better approach regarding mental health.
Ive met him before that, and we had these roleplay texting some nights and Ive always told him about these feelings of belonging to another gender. So he always knew.
Ive been on HRT for a year and a month, but I went to therapists to "treat" this has been a little more than 2 years.
All this detransitioning thing is all too new for me. Ive stopped HRT by the end of november last year. But, despite I still feel dysphoric and jealousy, I know that transitioning hasnt improve my life on any measurable way. It actually, made it worse. Thats how I know...
That transition is a huge trade off. And hormones warp your mind, so what you feel and think later wont be the same as you do right now.
I encourage you to search other ways to deal with dysphoria, as I am at the moment, if it all fails then HRT is justified.
I feel you. I have been feeling like that too, but Ive been focusing on the little things that I wouldnt have if I kept on HRT, libido for instance, or not having to worry that much about my health, my improved mental health since Ive dropped estrogen, etc.
Its all about coming to terms with yourself, Ive learned a lot about myself in the process of transitioning/detransitioning. And I believe you will too.
Give it time, you will get there.
I can relate to being jealous and envious of women.
Understanding from where that comes from has been really helpful to me, because now I can work on those issues.
We do not need to force ourselves to live in one way or another, but we need to have maturity about these things. Take your time, read about trans people, gender roles, etc.
Have you really? I can give you my experience that lead my where I am now.
I live in such a way that my parents know nothing about who I am. They dont know I like guys, they dont know I have nail polish, or a pink watch. Luckily, my breasts havent grown that much.
Ive always hidden myself afraid of people's reaction and always lived in my imagination.
You should walk before you run.
I feel you, specially the lack of desire of brushing your teeth.
Ive grieved a lot when I stopped. I pity my boyfriend, I was in pretty bad shape back then...
But know this: You can take care of your body and yourself, whether you are trans or not. And there is nothing wrong in taking a break from HRT. You can always return to it after a look at yourself, your mental health, your aspirations, etc.
As a musician myself, I felt that. I really hope you can find a new meaning to your artwork. Maybe explore something you never done before?
As for friends, now that you mentioned it... I had this childhood friend, who today is a right-wing small farmer, and I just shunned him the whole time I was transitioning. I had this mix of wanting to argue with him about politics and not want to lose his friendship at the same time.
But lately Ive been reaching out to him, and things feels better between us. Not like the old days, but... Is something.
Correct me if I interpreted it wrong, but it seems we both have had this vision of a new life. A "new me", perhaps.
And that by itself, could be a suggestion powerful enough to makes us dissociate from our current unresolved existance.
So, for exemple... its not that you have bad sense of direction, you just believed in the stereotype that males are better at that. And that was enough to make you perform better at it. Or the fact that you "gained" some of your emotional control.
Me and my brother were adopted, and although I dont feel that the adoption itself led to me choosing to transition, I believe that being so different from my parents and people around me (In school settings, for example), has led me to feel out of place. Especially because I had lots of name calling and bullying when I was growing up.