This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments display a consistent, highly personal narrative with specific details (e.g., starting/stopping hormones in 2019, the impact of lockdown, sensory issues from autism, internalized homophobia). The language is natural, emotionally nuanced, and offers supportive, first-hand advice—all hallmarks of a genuine detransitioner/desister sharing their experience.
About me
I was a teenage tomboy who started socially transitioning at 15 and took testosterone at 17. I stopped less than a year later because it felt wrong, and during the COVID lockdown, I realized I wasn't a man but a butch lesbian struggling with self-acceptance. I've detransitioned and my body has mostly changed back, though my voice is permanently a bit deeper. I lost some friends, but I'm now living happily as myself. While I have some regrets, I've finally found peace.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition started when I was a teenager. I was always a tomboy growing up and just liked what people call "boys' things." Looking back, a lot of things got mixed up for me. I liked having short hair and wearing baggy clothes, but I realize now that a big part of that was because of my autism. I didn't know it at the time, but I found out recently that I am autistic. My long hair was a huge sensory issue for me since I was really little, so cutting it short wasn't about wanting to be a boy; it was about comfort. I preferred baggy clothes for the same sensory reasons, and it was just a coincidence that my style looked masculine.
I socially transitioned at 15. It felt right at the time because I finally felt like I could dress how I wanted without being judged. I started taking testosterone when I was 17. But almost as soon as I started hormones, something felt off. I had this gut feeling that it wasn't right, but I couldn't figure out why. I stopped taking the hormones after less than a year, just before I turned 18 in 2019.
The first COVID lockdown was a huge turning point for me. Having that time to just slow down and be alone with my thoughts gave me the space I needed to really think. It was during that time, about a year and a half after I stopped hormones, that I had a moment of clarity. I realized I had been wrong the entire time. I wasn't a trans man; I was just a butch lesbian who had a lot of internalized homophobia and misogyny. I couldn't accept myself for who I was, so I thought becoming a man was the answer. It wasn't gender dysphoria I was feeling; it was body dysmorphia.
I officially decided to detransition and started that process alone. It's been a long journey of self-work to figure everything out and to grieve the time I lost. I often wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't transitioned or if someone had been able to get through to me, but I was so adamant at the time that nothing anyone said could have changed my mind.
Since stopping hormones, my body has changed back a lot. My voice was very deep and male-sounding when I was on testosterone, but it's gotten a lot higher and softer over the last four years. It'll never be exactly what it was before, but now I just sound like a woman with a slightly deeper voice. I didn't get much facial hair, so I just pluck or wax what little comes in. My body hair also thinned out a lot.
I'm living as a butch lesbian now and I've never been happier. I still dress in masculine clothes, but I'm comfortable being a woman. I lost some friends along the way, but I've also made new ones. I finally feel like I'm just being myself.
I do have some regrets about transitioning, mostly about not understanding myself better sooner and not having access to therapy to talk through my feelings before making such permanent changes. But my journey led me to where I am now, and I'm at peace with that.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 15 | ~2017 | Socially transitioned. |
| 17 | ~2019 | Started testosterone. |
| 18 | 2019 | Stopped testosterone after less than a year. |
| 19 | 2020 | Realized I had made a mistake and began the process of detransitioning during the COVID lockdown. |
Top Comments by /u/Popular-Knowledge-99:
I can’t speak for all people, but for me personally, I socially transitioned and just started to medically transition. When I socially transitioned, it felt right, like everything I always wanted. The short hair cut the masculine clothes, the non judgement for being able to dress like that and present like that. I because taking hormones, and I just knew something wasn’t right. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was but something in my gut told me to stop. It wasn’t until maybe around a year and a half after stopping (it was lockdown at this point) I was able to say woah hang on a minute, I’ve been wrong this entire time. I just wanted to fit in and I had thought that this is why I have felt so different all my life. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t😆 It just turned out that I am a butch lesbian but all throughout my teen years I had some extreme sense of internalised homophobia.
The truth is, only you know how you feel. I’d definitely recommend therapy especially before you jump in to anything permanent. Thats one thing I wish I had access to in the beginning. Just talking through what your feeling can give you a better understanding to what it is that your feeling.
If you need someone to talk to, drop me a message😁
Hey, this will get easier you know. My advise for your voice besides trying vocal training (youtube is great for this), is time. Believe me, time will be your friend on this one. I was on hormones for just under a year, started at 17 and completely passed as a man. My voice was really deep in comparison to before. I stopped taking them at 18 and obviously my voice hasn’t gone back to the way it was before, but I’ve been off of them for just over 4 years now and I completely pass as a woman. I just have a slightly deeper then average voice for a woman, and a whole lot of vocal range. But it’s gone back to a female register naturally. Your body will also eventually readjust to your own natural hormones if you give it a little time, I didn’t know about the option to take oestrogen so I personally, so I can’t really comment on that
This! I see a lot about people who identified as ftm and gone back to being very feminine after they detransitioned. It was a very confusing time but I was just a confused butch. It took me a while to figure it all out but it made a lot more sense. I was happier just dressing in mens clothes whilst still being a woman rather than presenting as a man
I truly get it. I think its a very pushy subject. A lot of people seem to think that you must know already if your talking about it. I think that people need to be more open minded to people just exploring their gender identity without having the pressure of making such a big change and just be if that makes sense. Just try not to let others input, cloud your own decision. And my inbox is always open
Hey, I just wanted to reply to your post and say you’re totally not alone in this at all. My experience was very similar to your in ways. I transitioned at 15 started hormones at 17 stopped after a year and started questioning my gender just before I decided to stop hormones. It wasn’t until around a year after that that I made the decision to detransition and even then I began that process alone. For me personally, growing up I always just liked ‘boys things’ and I think that crossed with being attracted to women and wanting my hair short and a number of other things looking back really confused me. I have also recently found out that I am autistic so looking back and trying to figure out what was me just trying to meet my needs was very confusing, like I didn’t want my hair short to be a boy, it was because my long hair was always something I had struggled with sensory wise since I was really young. I liked my clothes to be baggy (I still do) and it was just a coincidence that I also preferred more ‘masculine’ things. And what I was experiencing wasn’t gender dysphoria, but body dysmorphia.
I also had major internalised homophobia and misogyny looking back and couldn’t accept myself as a butch girl/woman. It has took me a lot of thought to try and figure everything out, grieve the time I lost, and to find that things like interests
I often wonder back and think about what my life would be had I not transitioned in the first place or if someone would have intervened, and don’t get me wrong I had some push back from my mum at the time, but I was adamant and there was nothing anyone could say or do to convince me otherwise.
I only really had time to slow down and think about what I was doing and what it was that I truly wanted when the first lockdown hit. I think having that time to just take a breath really really helped me a lot.
Since being off hormones (I stopped in 2019) my voice hasn’t gone back to what it was, but it has gone higher and softer to what it was whilst on hormones. I didn’t get much facial hair so I just wax/pluck whatever comes through and body hair didn’t stay how it was whilst I was on hormones, it thinned out a lot.
I’m really sorry for going on, but I know how lonely this process can be. If you need a friend, please feel free to message me I’d be happy to talk with you or if you have any questions I can try my best to answer them😊
My childhood was similar in the sense that I was a tomboy growing up. I also transitioned and when I started hormones, I knew something didn’t feel right. I detransitioned maybe 3 years ago now and am living as a butch lesbian and i’ve never been happier. It has taken me along time and a lot of self work to get where I am though. I have made friends and lost friends in the process but I’m just figuring out what makes me happy and thats al one can do on this journey. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to😊
Hey, I was also on hormones for a little less than a year. I stopped taking them in 2019 not too long before covid hit. At the time my voice was undeniably male but its been just over four years now and it is a lot higher now, and I pass as female 99% of the time. I still dress pretty masculine as I came to figure I was just a butch lesbian and not a trans man.
I also didn’t feel a need or even consider going on oestrogen as I didn’t know that was an option. I was on gel, so I just sorta stopped using it regularly until I stopped altogether.
So to answer you original question, I just stopped using hormones altogether and after a few months, my levels sort of just realigned with what they where before. And as months/years have passed, I just talk in a higher register then when I was on hormones. It will never go back to what it was before, but I just sound like a woman who has a slightly deeper voice then most😁