It’s harmful to say that drugs with little long-term research, that can worsen autoimmune conditions and cause permanent infertility, shouldn’t be widely encouraged until after other possibilities are ruled out? …okay? Literally proving your point about “not much room for disagreement”

Foreword that I am assuming you mean the United States Marines and I'm basing this entire reply off that:

Not trying to discourage you from joining the military in general, but the marines is absolutely horrible to females, and I would not recommend it at all if you have any other option in life.

My best friend (female) just got out of the marines, and she was having kidney failure, brain damage from an injury, multiple respiratory illnesses, and more other things wrong than I can count, and they wouldn't even let her go to the hospital until after she attempted s**cide. At the military hospital there was literally no room and all kinds of people died waiting for medical care, bleeding to death or whatever with no help whatsoever. The mental hospitals are even worse, and they will do nothing to stop people from touching you, etc. That's just the highlights, and she only got out because 1) she was in the reserves and 2) she was so sick they thought she was going to die anyway. It's almost impossible to get out of the marines once you're in, you're basically stuck forever.

Also, pretty much all the women in her boot camp platoon were r*ped, most multiple times. In all the branches, you would be hard-pressed to find an active duty woman who has never been sexually assaulted or harassed, the marines is just worse. It's not at all uncommon that men will kill women and cover it up and it'll be declared a suicide and her family will never find out. So, if you think it'll be nice to be female there, think again. It also could cause your dysphoria to relapse severely. Anything else in your genes (like a family history of bipolar) might make itself manifest too, which is not a fun thing to do to yourself.

I don't think anyone who hasn't been through it themselves or had a close loved one go through it can even fathom the mental abuse and breaking down and physical toil that being in the marines does to a person. I'm not going to assume anything about your life but it's probably more than you anticipate. My friend thought she could deal with it bc she's a state champ bodybuilder and her father abused her as a child, but clearly it didn't work out as planned.

You might think it'll be easier as an officer, but honestly, if you're smart enough to be an officer in something, you'd be better off to join the Air Force where you'll actually halfway be respected. Maybe national guard but i've heard mixed experiences about them. Or if you're into STEM things, go work for a civilian contractor company. Or pursue something in the IC.

You probably have a lot more options that could lead to a similar career than you think. Unless you just want to go to war and die, in which case marines is great!

I feel like I'd need more context to give you advice. Was she demeaning in saying "most likely just internalized transphobia"? Personally, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who didn't take my identity and experiences seriously. She doesn't seem to actually experience real dysphoria like you do based on the information given, and if she doesn't understand how to deal with that difference, then I would consider ending the relationship. This might just be a phase for her, but if it's harming your own mental health then you need to prioritize yourself.

No wonder you hate yourself if you hold those beliefs. It seems to me like the core of your gender dysphoria is the fact that you’re homosexual. The core of your hatred of being homosexual is your beliefs that it’s wrong.

Why? Why do you hold those beliefs? Do they actually serve your best interest? What about other gay people? Does it serve your best interests to see them as “less than human”? If you marry a man, and you have a daughter, and she grows up to be a lesbian, could you tell her that she has “lost her humanity”?

OP, you talk about Jung. Have you made your masculinity and homosexuality into your “shadow”? Is this the unpleasant part of your personhood that you’re so desperate to repress? He didn’t advocate for shoving that aside. He believed in integrating it, in the most positive way you can. It’s okay to not want to be in a relationship. It’s okay to not want to transition. But when you let your mind be preoccupied with the hatred you hold for that side of yourself, it will begin to negatively affect every part of your life.

I am so sorry that in your culture you have to feel that way about your homosexuality and that you’re taught to believe those things about other homosexuals. I hope you can come to a place where you respect the liberty of others and can see yourself in a more accepting light.

Why does it feel wrong to think of yourself as a man with a woman? Because of biological incoherence? Because of your trauma with men? Because of any ideas you might hold about what that means, like gendered power dynamics- and if so why do you hold those? I think it will make more sense if you ask yourself why and to critically examine the beliefs you hold about women/men/relationships.

I’m probably not the best person to reply to this since I’m butch, but there are so many more ways to be beautiful as a woman besides the overly femme ideal forced into society. No one can adhere perfect to societal expectations and that’s fine. You’re a woman and you can be you.

There’s lots of cis women who look like guys in their facial structure, etc. and I would recommend finding those other ideals of beauty to look up to. Particularly id look into how some female bodybuilders do their femme clothes and makeup because a lot of them are high femme while also having a body that looks more masculine

If it’s any reassurance to you, my significant other was on T for eight months. We just liked each other and our androgyny. It wasn’t even like… a thing in my head until after we started being more open with each other about our experiences with gender (we’re both more masc presenting if that’s relevant). We’re both really happy to have someone who recognizes + appreciates both our masculinity and female biology, and for me, having such a supportive partner really helped my own dysphoria. Point being, there’s plenty of people out there who are willing to see you for you, and some are also fine with the physical changes that came with it, so don’t give up

I think the overwhelming goal of most people in this group is just to get detransitioners taken seriously. Outside of that it varies a lot person to person since it’s such a diverse group with people with different ideology, experience, etc. I think most of the time detrans and desisted voices are told to shut up or are used as political pawns and we want that to change. we’re trying to take back our own stories to help each other through whatever this is and to offer some of our experience to those questioning their transition or considering it. We just don’t want to get demonized or written off.

As far as “enemy” goes? Personally I despise Big Pharma and I’d like to see the US medical system radically changed, but not only because of this lol.

I think they certainly *can* be similar, but they weren't for me. Depends on where the ED comes from and where the dysphoria comes from.

I observe a lot of apparent overlap in body dysmorphic teenage females who identify as trans (usually nonbinary) and that group's general narrative compared to how eating disorders used to be the main social contagion for that age/sex group. But in my experience with binge eating disorder, I had no control over myself and used food to cope with everything I had going on in my life at that time. I didn't get treatment though, I just sorta got over it eventually after identifying my triggers and controlling the compulsion to overeat then over restrict.

I don't think it was related to when I identified as trans (later) because for me trans was the only way I could reconcile being masculine/GNC as a female, rather than a denial of material reality. Now I'm just a boring butch lesbian

One thing you might not be considering that was a major thing for me in deciding to not medically transition in that way is potential urinary and bowel complications. I’ve heard of people having to have as many as a dozen follow up surgeries, constant bladder issues, and having to use a colostomy bag.

The urethral complication rate is insanely high, like 1/3 (but I don’t have an exact scientific source for that figure so I’d welcome any corrections). Even if your urethra gets lengthened correctly, the urine flow can get blocked, you have a crazy high rate for infections, and you may also have the risk of developing a Urinary fistula, which can seriously mess up your bowels.

As someone with IBS, the idea of being stuck with a colostomy bag for who knows how long was absolutely horrifying to me/something to be avoided at all costs, so that alone was enough to make me decide a no on that surgery. Not being able to shit right is absolute hell and something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

You could also have all that happen and your dick still die because of not having proper blood flow. I’ve seen the figure for that vary widely depending on source but one was as high as 7%.

If you really want to do it, do some extensive research, consult with multiple professionals, and take those possible complications under advisement. This will probably be the biggest non-medically necessary surgery you’ll ever have so please don’t take it lightly.