This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments display a consistent, personal, and emotionally complex narrative of questioning a transition, which aligns with the experiences of genuine desisters. The user discusses personal medical changes (developed breasts), social transition (friends calling them Jessica), and internal conflict—details that are difficult to fabricate convincingly. The passion and nuanced critique of trans activism are also consistent with a genuine detransitioner/desister perspective.
About me
I started transitioning because I was deeply unhappy being a male and thought becoming a woman would make my attraction to men feel normal. I believed I had gender dysphoria, changed my name to Jessica, and took hormones, which gave me breasts. After a lot of reflection, I realized my pain came from internalized homophobia, not from a true discomfort with my body. Now I'm stuck with permanent physical changes and feel confused and regretful. I'm worried about detransitioning but also about continuing to live based on a misunderstanding of myself.
My detransition story
My journey started with a deep unhappiness about being male. Looking back, I think a lot of it was internalized homophobia. I grew up in a religious background and I prayed constantly, begging God to take away my attraction to men and to just make me a woman instead. I thought that if I were a woman, my feelings would be "normal" and acceptable. I now believe this was the main reason I started transitioning; it felt like an escape from being a gay man.
I became heavily involved in online trans communities. The idea was presented that if you didn't like the stereotypes or the role assigned to your sex, or if you just hated being a man or a woman, that could mean you were trans. I latched onto that. I started identifying as a woman and asked everyone to call me Jessica. I fully believed I had gender dysphoria.
I took hormones for a significant period of time. They gave me breast growth, which at the time I was happy about because I hated my male body. But now, I'm not so sure. The more I learned and the more I reflected on my own past, the more I realized that what I was experiencing might not have been true gender dysphoria. I started thinking it was more of a "gender discomfort" caused by other issues, like my internalized homophobia. It was a really difficult and painful realization because I had already fought with my family over my identity, and all my friends knew me as Jessica. I had physically changed my body.
I began to feel that the trans community had widened the definition of being trans so much that it included people like me, who probably shouldn't have transitioned. I started to believe that needing a diagnosis of gender dysphoria and pursuing medical transition to be recognized as the opposite sex was important, to separate people with a medical condition from those who are dealing with other problems like trauma or internalized issues. I even thought that having alternative, neutral spaces would be better than just self-identification for access to sex-segregated areas.
I don't really believe in the social concept of gender. I think arguing that stereotypes or social roles define man or woman is flawed, because then anyone who doesn't fit a stereotype wouldn't be a man or a woman. For me, it always came back to the body and a deep, innate sense of dysphoria with it, which I now question if I ever truly had.
I do have regrets. I regret not understanding my own motivations sooner. I regret the permanent changes to my body, like growing breasts, because now I'm stuck in a difficult middle ground. I'm worried about regretting detransitioning and losing the chance to live as a woman, but I'm also worried about continuing to live a life based on a misunderstanding of myself. It's a very confusing and hurtful place to be in.
Age | Event |
---|---|
Childhood | Struggled with homosexuality and prayed to become a woman. |
Early 20s | Convinced myself I had gender dysphoria due to internalized homophobia. |
23 | Started socially transitioning, changed name to Jessica. |
24 | Began taking estrogen and testosterone blockers. |
25 | Developed breasts from hormone therapy. |
26 | Began to question if my feelings were truly gender dysphoria. Realized internalized homophobia was a major factor. Started considering detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/PsychologPhilosoph:
You should try to present fem and remove that facial hair. This way you can see what you are really dealing with. Your facial structure looks fem to me, but your facial hair and eyebrows seem a bit more masculine. Maybe try a more fem hairstyle as well.
To me it feels like saying God just took away my homosexuality lol. Isn’t that based. Like as a child I struggled begging God to take away my feelings of homosexuality and praying for him to make me a woman. Which is leading me to the idea of internalized homophobia. This could very well be exactly the reason I started transitioning in the first place.
I’ve never defended the idea of gender. What’s makes a trans person is gender dysphoria and transitioning. At the end of the day when you argue with a trans rights activist they may bring out the social definition of gender but all definitions include and exclude things that do or don’t meet a given criteria. If you say stereotypes make an individual a man or woman that means things that don’t fit that stereotype are not men and women. This is where they often fall back to the identification of a given gender. Trans rights activists do not genuinely care about the stereotype definition. It’s just a way to make their identification definition longer.
Yeah, the more I learn the more I’m thinking what I have isn’t gender dysphoria. It sucks though because I’ve already fought with family about my identity. I’ve already got breasts and all my friends refer to me as Jessica. I’m also worried that I’ll regret detransitioning and giving up the potential to pass as a woman and just live that life. Idk, it hurts to think about.
True I agree, I think these differences could be easily weeded out. For instance earlier today someone expressed that they hate being a man. This type of language perked my ears. It made it clear to me they probably don’t suffer from gender dysphoria but maybe one of many conditions that lead to what I refer to as gender discomfort. internalized homophobia, internalized misogyny/misandry, AGP/AAP, sexual trauma etc… these are all things that could lead someone to believe they are a dysphoric individual, but in reality they have another issue at play.
I’ve been wondering if we could make it so that to change sex marker or to use female spaces you have to go through a certain amount of medical transition or have a gender dysphoria diagnosis (maybe a mix) to weed out most of that self ID crowd. It would honestly just be the best if we had an alternative bathroom.
I think it’s partly because we’ve widened what trans is beyond just having gender dysphoria. We can even accept people who don’t want to medically transition or attempt to pass at all. We’ve got almost militant activists. It seems like we’ve widened what is trans so far that it includes people who should not be considered trans at all, and the movement fails to do what any civil rights movement should do. Humanize the dehumanized.