This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's posts are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent, detailing a complex, non-linear journey of detransition, trauma, and self-acceptance. The language is natural, with personal reflections and responses to others that are context-specific, which is difficult for bots to replicate convincingly. The passion and anger present are consistent with the experiences of genuine detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I transitioned to male because my past trauma made being a woman feel unsafe and vulnerable. I thought becoming a man would protect me, but living that way never felt completely right. I now understand my problem wasn't with being female, but with the pain I associated with it. Today, I live as a woman with a beard, working on healing and radical self-acceptance. My journey taught me that my strength and value aren't defined by my gender.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it’s rooted in a lot of pain from my past. I was born female, and for a long time, I hated everything that came with that. A big part of that hatred came from the sexual abuse I suffered from the age of 12 to 21. I blamed my body for what happened to me. I was jealous of a teacher who’d had a hysterectomy because I hated my reproductive organs so much; the idea of getting pregnant absolutely terrified me because it was a fear during my abuse. I even had unusual periods as a teen and told no one, secretly hoping something was wrong with me so they’d have to take everything out.
Because of the abuse and all the unsolicited sexual comments and touches from creepy strangers, being identified as a girl just felt unsafe and vulnerable. It made me a target. I internalized a lot of misogyny from my upbringing and started to believe that being a woman was a weakness. I thought that if I could just stop being seen as one, I’d be safe. That feeling, along with a deep self-hatred, is what pushed me toward transitioning.
I started taking testosterone. I was told it wouldn’t dramatically change my fertility and that there were options later if I ever wanted to carry a child, which at the time I was certain I never would. But honestly, if I had been alone in the world, I never would have done it. I felt socially pressured to be male because of my masculine mannerisms, but it wasn't what I truly wanted. It felt like something I had to do to fit in and to feel safe from the male gaze.
I lived as a man for a while, but it never felt completely right. For about two years, I’ve been living as a woman with a beard, still on HRT. It’s a hard look to pull off. I often feel too feminine for men and women treat me like a man. I’ve even been pushed out of spaces for women who love women because of how I look. But at the same time, I’ve come to see my beard as part of my own version of masc womanhood. I like my sideburns and the way it shapes my face. If I decide to keep it, no one’s going to stop me. The confidence to pull it off is just a bonus.
A huge turning point for me was realizing that my problem wasn’t with my body itself, but with the trauma I associated with it. I was trying to escape being a woman because it felt dangerous, not because I was a man inside. Through a lot of hard work, I’ve been practicing radical self-acceptance. I have to keep repeating to myself that I am safe now, that I can protect my own femininity now, that I’m strong and can defend myself. My feelings weren't good or bad, they were just feelings born from a need to survive.
I don’t regret my transition entirely because it was a part of my journey to understanding myself. It led me to where I am now. But I do have regrets about not understanding my motivations sooner. I regret that so much of my decision was based on internalized hate and fear, and that I let social pressure influence me. My relationship with my fertility is still complicated, but it has changed. I went from hating it to hoping I still have the option to carry a child later in life if I ever change my mind. I realized I had blamed my body for my abuse, when it was never my body’s fault.
Now, I believe that being a woman is absolutely not a good enough excuse for others to cross my boundaries. My gender is just a part of who I am; it doesn't define my strength or my value. The goal is to love your body for what it is, because it’s you, and you matter. That radical self-love is the foundation from which someone can safely decide if transitioning is truly right for them.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Began experiencing sexual abuse, which continued for years. |
| Teen Years | Developed a deep hatred for my female reproductive organs and fertility due to trauma. |
| 21 | The abuse I had experienced finally ended. |
| Early 20s | Started taking testosterone and began living as a man due to trauma and social pressure. |
| Mid 20s | Began to detransition, realizing my transition was motivated by trauma and a desire for safety. Stopped presenting as a man but remained on HRT. |
| 26 (approx.) | Currently living as a woman with a beard, working on radical self-acceptance and healing from past trauma. |
Top Comments by /u/Purpletomb:
Thanks for the support y’all. I think I’m just gonna have to get a new job because luckily I’ve not changed anything legally yet. I won’t miss this job at all lmao so nbd. But I’m gonna try being myself.
I have to keep repeating to myself that I’m safe now. I can protect my own femininity now. I’m strong and I can defend myself
Gotta say how much I agree here. Radical self acceptance has been huge for me in accepting my body. It’s really fucking hard and takes a lot of time but you are absolutely able to love your body however it is because it’s you and you matter enough. Being in that radical self love state of mind is from where someone can safely decide if transitioning is right for them.
This is the same way I thought about it for a long time. Women have to put so much more effort into presenting, why bother? I can’t put in that effort. But through self love I’ve started to understand that wearing that stuff makes me happy. Does wearing mens clothes make you happy, or just comfortable because there’s less scrutiny on you?
And thinking you’re too lazy to dress up, man I understand that.
I’m sending you love. Much hope in your journey.
I’m currently detranistioning but still on hrt. I’ve been living as a woman with a beard for about two years now.
Personally I deal with a lot of social gender issues due to the not fitting into the “woman” box society has made. I know I want to keep it for now because I’m still scared of men seeing me as a woman. But I’m not sure if it’s going to stick my whole life.
It’s definitely hard to pull off. I’m too feminine for men and woman treat me like a man. I’ve been pushed out of wlw spaces because of it.
But at the same time I do see it as part of my masc womanhood. I like the sideburns and the way it makes my face look. If I do decide I want to keep it, no one’s gonna stop me. Confidence to pull it off is just bonus.
Self acceptance is absolutely key. The things you feel are not good or bad, just feelings.
I struggle with these same issues, but I’ve only received support and understanding so far. Yeah some people out there may have something to say but it’s your life. We all go through the ringer trying to process trauma and there’s no shame that yours caused the dysphoria. You were just trying to do what you thought was best
Sending love. I agree with the other poster that everyone who destrans does end up looking like their birth gender. It sounds like you haven’t had a hysterectomy (just assuming) so your body will go back to its old production of hormones and change anything back. The only thing it doesn’t change is your voice but honestly there’s so much love for us deep voices women
For me I realized I did not like being identified as a girl because it felt unsafe and vulnerable. Too many unsolicited sexual comments and touches from creepy strangers. Plus an upbringing that encouraged me into internalize all that misogyny.
I have to reassure myself now that being a woman is absolutely not a good enough excuse for others to cross my boundaries. What is it about being seen as a girl that makes you feel bad?
CW: CSA
Started at 12 and ended at 21
- No due to a lot of negative feelings about my womanhood and reproductive organs as a result of abuse. I remember being extremely jealous in high school of a teacher who had a hysterectomy. The idea of getting pregnant disturbed me and was a fear during my abuse. I experienced unusual periods as a teen and told no one hoping there was something wrong with me. I still have a negative relationship with my fertility and would never want to carry a child at this point in my life.
I was told testosterone would not dramatically change fertility. I was given advice that I had options through Planed Parenthood to help with fertility if I ever wanted to carry.
Yes. I was afraid of that for sure, but an internalized hate of myself prevented me from acknowledging that for a couple years on T. I never felt forced by anyone in particular but honestly if it was just me in the world I never would have done it. That was a big turning point in my detransition. I felt socially pressured to be male because of my mannerisms, but that was not what I wanted.
I still don’t think I would ever want to carry but hopefully I still have that option later in life if I change my mind. This changed from flat out hating my fertility when I realized how much of my abuse I had blamed on my body.
I think that it’s better then pushing teens to resort to other methods of self harm. I absolutely would have hurt myself less if I was allowed to have a less destressing bodily experience. While I was wrong about why I hated my organs, I still hated them. It would have been a bandaid on the issue. We don’t have enough study in the world yet on what the difference is between body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria. From my conversations with trans people, I believe these are two overlapping but very different experiences. A parent should be able to make that choice with a doctor and well informed consent. I hope one day we know their brains better though, as it is just one form of self harm over another