This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, passionate, and personal worldview that aligns with known perspectives within the detrans community. The user shares specific, nuanced opinions on body image, social interactions, and the distinction between sex and gender, which reads as a genuine expression of lived experience rather than scripted propaganda. The tone is direct and emotionally charged, which is consistent with someone who is passionate and potentially angered by their experiences, as your prompt notes is common.
About me
I started as a girl who felt uncomfortable with my body and the stereotypes for women, especially when I developed breasts during puberty. I thought I must be trans and started taking testosterone, desperately wanting surgery to change my body. I eventually realized my feelings weren't about gender, but about low self-esteem and struggling to accept myself as a female who doesn't fit in. I stopped hormones and am grateful I never had irreversible surgeries. Now, I'm learning to live as the woman I am, even on the hard days when my past choices make it difficult.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was a long and confusing one. It started when I was very young, in my late teens. I was a girl who never felt like I fit in with the stereotypes of what a girl should be. I hated my body when it started changing during puberty, especially developing breasts. I felt uncomfortable and like this body wasn't really mine. I think a lot of my feelings were tied up in a general unhappiness and very low self-esteem. I didn't feel confident or good about myself at all.
Back then, and online, it felt like the only explanation for feeling this way was that I must be trans. I started identifying as non-binary first, and then later as a trans man. It felt like an escape from all the discomfort and the pressures of being a woman. I thought if I could just change my body and be seen as male, all those bad feelings would go away. I was influenced a lot by what I saw online and by the friends I had at the time who were all exploring similar identities.
I ended up taking testosterone for a few years. I never got any surgeries, but I wanted top surgery desperately because I hated my breasts so much. I thought about phalloplasty too, but I am so grateful now that I never went through with it. I read about the high failure rates and the serious health complications, and it scared me. I started to realize that cutting up my body wouldn't give me the relief I was looking for. It wouldn't actually make me male; it would just give me a mutilated version of my female body.
A big part of my detransition was realizing that my feelings weren't really about gender. I don't believe in gender at all anymore. I think it's just a set of rules society made up, a giant role-playing game telling people how to act based on their sex. I believe in biological sex. You're born either male or female, and that can't be changed. No amount of hormones or surgery can change that fundamental reality.
I also had to confront my own sexuality. I think some of my desire to transition was tangled up in internalized homophobia. The idea of being a butch lesbian was somehow less acceptable to me, or felt harder, than being a straight man. It was easier to try and become a man than to be a woman who loved women. I had to learn that there's nothing wrong with being a gay man either—you can be an effeminate man who likes feminine things without claiming to be a woman. The important thing is to not harm your body trying to be something you can never be.
My regret is that I ever started taking hormones in the first place. I put my body through changes that were permanent for a reason that wasn't true. I'm lucky I didn't do more damage. I'm now trying to accept myself as a female, just a female who doesn't fit the stereotype. Some days are harder than others, especially when people mistake me for a man because of my appearance. But I'm learning to correct them when I feel brave enough, because I am a woman and I don't need to explain my past or feel shame about that.
Detransitioning was about accepting that I will never love my body every single day, but I can be grateful I didn't mess it up with irreversible surgery. My goal now is just to find a middle ground, to be who I am without labels, and to live my life without hurting myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late Teens | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and my developing female body. Hated my breasts. Had low self-esteem and depression. |
| 19 | Began identifying as non-binary, influenced by online communities and friends. Saw it as an escape from being a woman. |
| 20 | Socially transitioned and began identifying as a trans man. Started taking testosterone. |
| 23 | Researched surgeries, wanted top surgery and considered phalloplasty. Became scared off by high failure rates and serious health complications. |
| 24 | Stopped taking testosterone. Began the process of detransitioning. Started to accept my female body and biological sex. |
| Present (mid-20s) | Living as a detransitioned female. Working on self-acceptance and confidence. |
Top Comments by /u/QueenRowana:
Definitely ask them yourself. They are pretty okay people from what i have seen. They don’t want the streams to cross between the people who are LGB and trans people. I dont want to assume where you fit in but think a former trans/ detransitioning person could definitely have conversation with them about it.
I dont believe in any ‘gender’ at all, regardless of if it is binary. I believe in biological sex
Gender is just a set of rules in society. Like a giant roleplaying game that people use to tell you how you should behave. Sex is how you are born and how you will always be, no change possible. If you’re born a female then no shouting or surgery can ever change that.
In previous years gender and sex meant the exact same thing. Like synonyms. Then gender started to be used to create stereotypes of how a man should act and how a woman should act. Then a billion other genders were added and the world went berserk.
Gender means nothing to me. I believe in sexes. Two of them. And those cannot be changed.
Know that you don’t have to be a ‘normal’ man if there even is such a thing as normal. You don’t have to be masculine and muscled and rude and drive a truck or a motorcycle. Find a middle ground. Wear pink or soft yellow of lilac shirts if you like. Get earrings. Grow your hair out. Take care of your skin and maybe even wear a little makeup. Do feminine things. But dont mutilate your body. You dont even have to be a straight male, being gay is fine! So if you possibly feel attracted to men there’s no shame in remaining male and still loving another man.
Accept that you will never be a woman no matter how hard you try. Hurting yourself will only make your life harder and i dont wish that for you. You can live in a feminine way without hurting yourself or others. Dont make the mistake. “Sex reassignment” surgeries are always a bad idea and will not give you the relief you seek! It just wont make you happy. So dont do it.
Good on you! Even women who would never want to be a man and have no trans-wishes sometimes look at our bodies and go “ oh i don’t like how that looks” Vaginas can be odd looking things and depending on how your average mental state is and how much self-confidence you have you may dislike how your own vagina looks.
Right now i am confident and like my body. But 4 years ago i hated it for various reasons. Just know that it’s ok to dislike how your body, and possibly genitals, look. But there is no need to make that worse by going for an invasive surgery with a high failure rate like a phalloplasty. You wont always love your body. But you’ll be grateful you didnt mess it up one day.
I think it may also differ from day to day depending on how you read. You said you are butch so i assume you are not, for example, wearing earrings or a ponytail? This makes it likely that they will assume you are male sometimes. That is a sad truth and depending on how the estrogen works for you you may or may not start looking more feminine again and people will make fewer mistakes.
Depending on how brave you are feeling i think it is entirely reasonable to ask that they use the correct female pronouns. You don't owe them an explanation that you are detrans in my opinion, after all trans people often don't explain themselves when they demand we use the pronouns they want.
If you feel safe and brave enough to do it i say: correct them. Half of the people will want to be [politically correct so badly that they will call you any pronoun you ask for. Half of the people will feel really guilty for guessing your gender wrong. I have on occasion mistake an ugly woman for a man and felt so guilty afterwards! It's none of their business that you were trans at some point in the past, so no need to 'out' yourself, you dont even have to tell them about it. You are biologically female and should feel no shame claiming that label.
I also started out as very accepting of every sexuality, identity and imaginary fixation there was on earth. It took me a long time to shake that reflex. If i suddenly decided that, instead of a 20-something white woman, i was a 30 year old black man? Does that count for those people?
Glad to hear you did research. Definitely offer your daughter support and love, but be sensible about the sudden deciscion she is male. She is fine the way she is! She may need some professional help depending on how seriously she means it. Much luck!
Yes. Nothing wrong with liking men and being gay. Not even anything wrong with being an effeminate gay man. Nothing wrong with liking feminine things such as earrings, long hair, spa’s, pink, dancing, chick-flick movies. Nothing wrong with being feminine.
As long as you understand you will never be a female. Don’t claim to be a woman, be proud of the type of man you are. Don’t harm your body trying to change it into something you can never be.
Accepting yourself is hard, but i’ll bet you dollars to donuts living in a permanently altered body after a surgery that may not even be succesful and taking hormones that can also do serious harm is even harder! Good luck in life! No shame being a gay man and keep fighting!