This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake account. The user, "Sophia," demonstrates a consistent, deeply personal narrative of detransition, including specific medical details (2 years on T, double mastectomy), a timeline (detransitioned 4 years ago), and a recurring theme of faith and self-acceptance. The language is passionate, nuanced, and offers supportive, individualized advice, which aligns with a genuine detransitioner's perspective.
About me
I was born female and began my transition to male at 17, taking testosterone and having surgery because I thought it would make me feel complete, but it only caused serious health problems. I realized my desire to be a man was rooted in trauma and insecurity, not in my true self. My faith helped me understand that my value as a woman isn't about my appearance but my character. I stopped everything four years ago, and while I have some permanent regrets, I am finally comfortable in my body. I now know I was always a woman, and my life is my own to live truthfully.
My detransition story
My name is Sophia, and I want to share my story about my transition and detransition. I was born female, and for a long time, I believed I was supposed to be a man. I started socially transitioning when I was 17. I remember one clear moment looking in the mirror and thinking maybe I was okay being a woman, but I was terrified of what my friends and family would think. I thought I had gone too far to turn back, so I suppressed that feeling and moved forward.
I went on to take testosterone for two years and had a double mastectomy. I thought hormones and surgery would finally make me feel at home in my body, but they didn't. I kept waiting for that feeling of being comfortable and complete, but it never came. Instead, I started having serious health complications, including chronic pelvic pain and issues that made it hard to sleep and function. Doing a cost-benefit analysis, transitioning was only costing me my health while giving me no real peace.
I realized that what I thought was gender dysphoria wasn't that at all. It was rooted in trauma, low self-esteem, and a fear of womanhood. For example, I'm very tall, and I used to feel insecure and "masculine" around shorter women. I realized that was just insecurity, not dysphoria—some women are tall, and that's okay. I also felt that wanting to be a man came from a place of wanting to feel safe and powerful, especially after bad experiences with men. I believed if I were a man, I wouldn't feel vulnerable.
My faith became a huge part of my healing. It gave me the strength to face my feelings and understand that my value isn't in how I look but in who I am. A scripture that really helped me was about how women should be known for their good works, not their outward appearance. That helped me see that being a woman is about more than dresses and makeup; it's about my character and actions.
Stopping testosterone was hard. I quit cold turkey, which I don't recommend, and the first few months were really rough physically and emotionally as my hormones settled. I was scared of how people would see me, but I started to have fun experimenting with my style and thinking about the kind of woman I wanted to be.
Now, four years after detransitioning, I'm more comfortable in my body than I ever was, both during and before transition. I don't experience dysphoria anymore because I understand it was never about gender. I wear bras and breast forms now to feel more comfortable, and I see it no differently than a woman who had a mastectomy due to cancer. I am a woman, and nothing can change that.
I do have some regrets about the permanent changes, especially the health issues I'm still dealing with. I'm infertile, which is painful to accept. But I don't regret detransitioning itself. It was the right decision, and I'm grateful for the wisdom it gave me. I learned that my life is my own, and I shouldn't make decisions based on other people's opinions. The friends I was so afraid of losing? I'm not even in touch with them anymore. My family was supportive when I detransitioned.
My advice to anyone questioning is to be brutally honest with yourself. Ask hard questions about why you want to transition and what you think it will solve. Feelings are powerful, but they change, and making permanent decisions based on them can lead to long-term hardship. Find out who you are outside of gender, and build your life from there.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 17 | Started socially transitioning. |
| 17 | Began taking testosterone. |
| 19 | Had double mastectomy (top surgery). |
| 21 | Stopped testosterone and began detransitioning. |
| 25 | Now, four years after detransition, living as a woman and continuing to heal. |
Top Comments by /u/RainbowRedemptionP:
Here are two question I would ask:
What is it about being a man do I believe I would enjoy more? (Considering you are comfortable with your anatomy)
What does it mean to “feel like a girl”?
In my experience what I believed was dysphoria was actually discomfort with my own body. I conditioned myself to believe that being a man was the solution, so I attributed that discomfort with wanting to be a man. In reality, that discomfort was due to trauma, fear of womanhood, and low self esteem.
Now if I ever feel dysphoria, instead of allowing the discomfort to take over I asses the situation to see what could be causing it. For example I’m very tall, around shorter women there have been times where I have experienced “dysphoria”. Why? Because I have felt at times that I am not “feminine enough” due to my height. So the dysphoria actually stems in that moment from low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy. Another example, when I have gotten unwanted/harassing interactions with men in the past, I have felt “dysphoria”. Why? Because as a woman I felt powerless in those situations, especially because of certain childhood experiences. So the dysphoria stemmed from wanted to maintain control and go unnoticed, and I believed if I was a man I would be safe.
In every situation I remind myself that what I feel is not reality, which is the #1 lesson I have had to learn. Like if I feel uncomfortable around women because of my height, I remind myself that my appearance is not what makes me a woman, my anatomy does. Also, not all women are shorter! If I am uncomfortable because a man is being creepy, I can either ignore or set a boundary because I understand my value. I am not a victim, and others can only affect my sense of self if I allow them.
My faith has also been immensely powerful, and has given me the strength and will to move forward even if my feelings are overwhelming. If you have any further questions pls lmk!
Before moving forward with any sort of legal action, I would consider the potential impacts this could have on your mental and emotional well-being. A lawsuit will likely involve a degree of going back into the past, so it is important to consider whether you are at the right place for this. Additionally, a good question to ask yourself is what it is you seek to gain from a lawsuit. Is it the financial aspect? Is it to hold these organizations responsible? Is it to make up for the damage you personally have experienced? Whatever it is, make sure that what you seek to get from this is actually something that can be attained and satisfy your desire. I could see a scenario where someone would sue an organization believing it will bring them peace or closure, and when all is said and done this is not achieved. There are many ways to bring meaning to the challenges we have experienced, a lawsuit is just one of many avenues. Definately something to dive deep about with your therapist, this is a big decision!
I know it can be tough when people make insensitive comments like that, I have experienced this myself. It does get better (as in the longer you are off of testosterone, the more female you will look and the more confident you will feel in your identity despite any more permanent changes). It seems that these women are being intentionally mean and trying to affect your mental and emotional state.
A good question to ask yourself is, "How do I want to react to this?". We can either take the things that others say to heart, or ignore them and recognize that their behavior is most likely due to their own feelings of insecurity.
Hello! To me it sounds like maybe what you thought you wanted and what you truly wanted may be incongruent. That is to say, maybe there is something you were trying to experience or achieve that transitioning did not give you. Relating it to my own experiences, I thought that transitioning would make me feel more like myself and at home in my body. Naturally, because I did believe that I truly was a man. Hormones felt good at first, but did not give me what i wanted. I thought top surgery would do that, but it did not. I remeber reflecting and thinking, at what point will I achieve the fullness of what I want? When will I feel fully comfortable in my body? When will it look how I want to look? Etc.
Over time like you I began to long for the body I used to have, and wondered what things would have been like had I not transitioned. What would I look like? How would my life be easier? And it was this (along with many other things) that led me towards thinking if maybe transitioning was a mistake.
I guess the question to ask yourself is, did transitioning give you want you wanted? Instead of comparing it to how you may have felt before (especially considering you were very young before transition), just consider whether transitioning has given you the life you wanted? Did you expect more?
The answer to this will determine your next steps, my ultimate advise is to be fully honest with yourself and do what you know to be right within yourself.
I know this must not be easy, if you would like to talk feel free to reach out. Wishing you the best, you are not alone.
I am really sorry for what you are going through, I know that the permanent aspects of transitioning can be very painful and challenging to cope with. Also the age where you began treatments likely adds to what you are feeling.
From what you have described, I think it is possible that because you are pursuing legal action this is causing you to relive some of the painful things you have experienced. This is because you are speaking about what happened, how it made you feel at the time, afterwards, etc. i believe that even for someone who has healed, it can still be really difficult and painful to go back to these past experiences (especially repeatedly). If you do not have one already, I would suggest finding a therapist who can help you develop some coping mechanisms to get you through the legal proceedings and so you can vent a bit.
You are not alone, if you would like to chat feel free to reach out. You will get through this, remeber that your mental health and well-being is what is most important.
Hello! My name is Sophia, I have been detransitioning for 4 years. While I was only on testosterone two years, I too struggle with chronic pain that at times has been debilitating. It can be truly awful, yet thankfully I have found ways to manage it through diet, supplements, mindset, etc.
I do not have any easy answer or solution, what I can tell you is living in the truth is always better than living a lie. Even if the truth is more painful, eventually things get easier and we can find meaning in the experiences we had. For me, I enjoy supporting other detransitioning women, which I could not do as effectively (in my opinion) without going through it myself. I also have learned a lot about life, myself, womanhood in general. I met people I would not have met otherwise, and with chronic pain I learned to be grateful for my body and not be so critical of myself over my appearance. I also found my faith, which adds into every aspect of my life not just this.
All that to say, things may be hard for a time, but 13 years from now I am confident you will be much more satisfied with your life.
If you want some tips on how ways to manage pain feel free I can help you out if you would like. Please know you are not alone.
Hey! I completely understand what you’re feeling and can tell you that with time this will get easier 100%. Some things that I realized over time that helped me accept my transition/detransition are the following:
Idk about you but I was very insecure as a teenager…even though I can now look back at those pictures and say I was beautiful. As my body feminized more and more (detransitioning), that feeling of not being “enough” of a woman would not go away. I realized it was a pattern, I never felt “enough” as a regular teen girl, as a trans man, or as a woman detransitioning at that point in time. I eventually realized that my body was not the problem, but how I perceived myself. Essentially, the underlying insecurity and self-hatred would have been the same whether I transitioned or not. So I decided to believe I am beautiful, I am a woman, and no one can take that away from me. What that looks like for me is putting in the work daily, telling myself I am beautiful, and if judgmental thoughts or feelings come I remind myself of what I really thing or feel.
Having a functional body is a blessing, and it’s a lesson I learned through developing various health conditions as a result of my transition. Not being able to sleep due to pelvic pain, having to use the restroom constantly, is a very humbling experience. I have been able to manage these issues thankfully, and the experience made me realize how little appearance actually matters. What matters is I can walk around, sleep, eat, communicate, etc.
People’s opinions do not matter, and if someone judges me or treats me badly it is due to their own feelings towards themselves not me. Insecure people judge others, I say this as someone who has been that person 🙋🏻♀️ (I’m sure we all have at some point in time). As I started becoming more assertive I started to care less what people think. This was difficult and a little scary, but 100% worth it.
I do not need to over explain my situation. It does not happen very often to me anymore, but if someone were to call me sir or he, I would simply say “I am a female”. I used to feel the need to explain my transition and detransition, THIS IS NOT NECESSARY! You do not owe anyone anything, and saying you are a female is the 100% truth. There are some women who have deep voices, facial hair, no breasts, etc. We are not much different than any other woman.
I hope this is helpful! Please know you are not alone, feel free to reach out to me if you would like to chat.
Questions I wish I would have asked myself:
How does testosterone affect the female body? Could taking it damage your health?
What is the reason you are choosing to change your external appearence to heal an internal problem?
What does being a really man mean to you?
Could what you are feeling (gender dysphoria) actually be rooted in something else?
What do you believe your life will look like 10 years from now, after hormones and surgery?
Are you prepared to be a life-long medical patient?
Are you sure you never want children? If you did in the future, how could transitioning impact that decision?
Is this actually something you want, or is this something you feel you must do in order to attain peace?
These qhestions, and many more.
Ultimately, my advice is to consider how this can really impact you and whether you want to base your decisions off of how you are feeling. Feelings change, even very strong ones. It is not worth it to put your mental and physical health at risk for something that (in my experience) offered short-term gradification and uneccessary long-term burden. Find out who YOU are, what YOU consider womanhood to be, and how You can balance these viewpoints to shape your sense of self and who you want to be. Wish you the best, feel free to reach out to me if you would like. I know this is challenging, you can overcome it, you are not alone.
Hey! Im really sorry you are going through this, and I know how difficult and painful those first few months/year can be. I want to begin by saying that no matter how overwhelming things may feel right now, things will get better in time! Eventually one learns to cope with and accept the changes that have occured. Even better, moving forward with our lives with the wisdom that this experience has given us.
Until then, I recommend keeping your time and your mind focused on something else as best you can. Find something to commit yourself to that you enjoy or are passionate about. Find community and support from people you can trust, or seek out such community. Implement some stress management techniques to help ground yourself if you feel overwhelmed.
With what you mentioned specifically, here is what I would say. It sucks that you were not able to experience being a girl for all those years. Yet, now you have the opportunity to focus on the kind of woman you want to become. That is in every sense! Physically (Do I want to wear makeup? How would I like my hair to look? What kind of clothes do I like?) and Psychologically (What does being a woman mean to me? What kind of example would I like to be to the other women in my life? What are my boundaries?).
If you would like someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out!
It did to me at first, but I realized it was due to trauma surrounding my prior experiences. It was difficult but once I chose to accept my birth name, I began to love it more as time went on. It was as I learned to love who I was meant to be and truly am vs who I was pre-transition.